How to Create Workflows to Simplify Your Life

Whenever I speak to a new client, I talk about workflows. Here are a few questions I commonly ask:

• What’s your current workflow for this?

• Do you have a workflow for your social media approval process?

• What would your ideal workflow be for this item?

Workflow is a mouthy word and, to be completely honest, it’s not the best word in the world. It sounds complicated. It sounds jargon-y. It sounds kind of terrible.

That being said, workflows are one of the best ways to keep your small business running smoothly, especially if you offer a service-based product.

About 6 months ago, I started trying to keep track of all my different workflows: the processes I used in my business and my day-to-day life to keep things running smoothly. Workflow is a fancy word for “this is what I do, what I use to do it, and why.” That’s it! That’s literally all a workflow is!

But you’d be surprised at how writing down your existing workflows, and working on documenting new ones as you add services or products to your business, can improve your time management and efficiency.

Here are a few of my top tips for creating workflows—and a few examples.

1. Pick a Place to Save Everything.

Choose one platform to keep all your process and workflow documents. This could be Notion, or Google Docs, or the Notes app on your phone. No matter what, keep all your notes in one specific place so you can tweak them when things change (like when you find a better tool for scheduling) and refer to them if you need to train someone on how to do it.

2. Pick a Format That Works for You

I personally like flowcharts best for my workflows—but some people prefer step-by-step outlines, numbers, or just sketches or notes. Whatever works for you, stick to that format. If you find it isn’t working (or you find a better method), don’t be afraid to switch. Just make sure you switch everything to the new method.

3. Focus on Efficiency

Part of the beauty of workflows is always knowing what comes next when you’re working on something. If you a service-based business, then being able to send a client-facing document that outlines the process you’ll follow for them is huge in terms of customer service. Making these documents (or systems) as efficient as possible, and keeping them organized, will help you be more efficient.

That being said, when creating workflows, focus only on the bare minimum steps. If you’re like me, you sometimes get caught up in the little things. For example, some of my social media clients prefer a week-by-week approval system; others prefer to have all their social media done in bulk for the month. That means, those two workflows will be different in terms of timing—but not in how I actually plan for that content, since I plan each month at a time. For the sake of efficiency, I keep my “social media strategy and content development” workflow simple: just the steps I follow, regardless of the time period it occurs in.

4. Use Workflows to Stay Focused

I’m easily distracted and I get very excited about new tools. This can really derail my work day if I’m not careful; having a workflow that I’m familiar with and I know to follow every single time for best results (and maximum efficiency!) helps me cut down on some of that distraction. It also really helps my to do list; instead of having one huge, bulk item (like “social media for X client!”), I know what steps it separates out to and can schedule them through the month appropriately.

Some Example Workflows

Need some examples? No worries. Here are a few basic examples of my workflows that I use most often.

The best thing about workflows is that I can easily give them to anyone to let them know my process or ask for help with something. Maybe not with meal planning, but if I were to ever hire a VA or fellow freelancer to help with my clients, the social media workflow would help me save time. These are just short summaries; my full workflows tend to have a flowchart set up, with notes and more info, like where I pull content ideas from, how long it typically takes me to write content for a month (or for blog posts), and more.

How to Create Workflows

Like I said, pick a format that works for you. Then, when you’re working on a project (such as creating something for your store, providing a service to a client, or whatever), jot down the steps as you work, including the tools you use and any notes. Then, work on putting those notes into the format of your choice, streamlining the information.

Once you have your workflow in a format and form that you like, work on creating a client-facing version, if you want; this can help keep your clients organized and aware of your process, as well as when to expect things. (This will also help you set deadlines and keep expectations clear!)

Workflows are a simple organizational step to help you be more efficient in many different parts of your life. I hope you found this blog post helpful! Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

3 Journal Prompts for Setting Boundaries

This month, we’re going to talk about establishing boundaries: in your business, in your personal relationships, and beyond. Establishing boundaries is so important to everyone and something we don’t talk about enough! I hope you find value and comfort in these blog posts. You can read all posts in this series by clicking here.

Today’s post will be pretty short & simple. I wanted to share a few journaling prompts to help you explore your need for boundaries, what boundaries you want to set, and how you can set those boundaries.

As I’ve shared in previous posts, this past year has been a huge one for setting boundaries. Before I was laid off in July 2019, I worked constantly. Sometimes, I would drop everything I was doing when I got a Slack message. I have always worried about being viewed as lazy, needy, or inconsistent, so I made sure to be available 100% of the time. After I the layoff and as I started freelancing, I realized that this simply wasn’t a sustainable option for me. Especially as COVID-19 hit and we were quarantined, I realized that sometimes I just needed to say, “No I can’t do that” to just about everyone in my life. Dropping everything to go do a work task or dropping work tasks to go help Forrest were both unsustainable options.

Establishing boundaries around my work life and my home life were important especially because I work from home. I used these journaling prompts myself to help clear my mind, get all my thoughts out on paper, and created a plan for boundaries.

I hope you find these helpful!

Thanks for reading!

5 Easy Kids Lunches (That Aren't Fast Food)

Now, here’s the thing: I love a fast food lunch. Drive-thru dinner. Easy peasy, everyone is happy, we all live in harmony. But that being said: fast food can add up fast and become a habit even faster. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with fast food, it can strain your budget and make you feel not-so-great after a while.

If you’re feeling stuck in a rut with your kids’ lunches, I feel you: I feel like all I’ve done since March is make breakfast, lunch, dinner, and 2 snacks without stopping. Have I actually worked? Participated in my hobby? Or is my life only cooking now? I love spending time making something time intensive for Forrest… but I also like being able to just slap something on the table that I don’t feel horrible about and calling it good.

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about getting kids to eat healthier snacks (for those times when you feel like you’ve been throwing a box of Cheez-Its into the living room and running). But today, I want to share some ideas for lunches that are: easy; not the worst for you; and don’t require that much energy. These are for the low days, the days you just can’t anymore, or when you need just 10 more minutes to get that one task done.

Let’s start with my big tip: not every meal needs to be homemade, nor does every single meal need to be 4-5 courses. I promise you, none of us grew up eating perfectly prepared, handmade dishes… and we’re all totally fine. Another hot take: a few years ago, one of my friends said to me, “you know dinner can be a sandwich and that’s fine.”

Dinner or lunch can be a sandwich and that’s fine. How freeing is that idea? You don’t even have to cook!

That being said, here are my 5 easiest, not-that-bad-for-you, kid-friendly lunches.

1. The Classic Sandwich

Honestly, this one goes without saying: if your kids with eat sandwiches, then just throw anything in a sandwich. Cream cheese and fruit? Boom. Peanut butter and jelly. Turkey and cheese. There are so many options. You can also cut sandwiches into fun shapes, into dipping sticks.

Arrange in a bento box with some fruit and a handful of something else (pretzel bites, chips, crackers, veggies, whatever) and you’ve basically got an ideal lunch anyway.

In this photo, we have Forrest’s favorite sandwich: ham with cheese, plus peaches and peanut butter pretzel bites. Nothing spectacular, but I know he’ll quietly eat this for 20 minutes.

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2. Freezer Section Frenzy

Let me tell you: if you aren’t utilizing quick foods from the freezer section, then run, don’t walk, to the nearest Trader Joe’s (safely, of course, please wear your mask) and invest. The Trader Joe’s turkey corn dogs are honestly really, really good, very kid friendly, and done in 60 seconds. They have lots of options like this: chicken nuggets, pizzas, mac and cheese. Add a side of fruit and some dipping sauce, and you’ve made lunch in maybe 5 minutes.

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3. Breakfast for Lunch

When I make breakfast foods, I tend to make enough to last few several breakfasts or, honestly, several lunches. One thing Forrest will always eat is a waffle, pancake, or French toast. We’ve started making breakfast kabobs that he has fun assembling (I don’t even have to do the work!). Cut whatever breakfast item into 4ths and then cut your favorite fruit (strawberries, grapes, peaches, apples) and put onto skewers. Add a little dish of syrup for dipping and again, voila! Easy peasy, it took 5 minutes tops.

Big tip: Like I said, make a big batch of breakfast food to have in the freezer or fridge to reheat quickly when you need it.

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4. Leftover Grab Bag

We always have leftovers in our house because I am terrible at cooking for 3 people. 4, totally doable. 2, fine. When it comes to estimating amounts for 3 people, you think it’d be easy, but it’s not.

Thus, leftovers. I think sometimes we hesitate to feed our kids leftovers because we want to save them for our own lunches (especially if you have a member of your family still working outside the home). However, if it’s stuff your kid will eat, then why not portion it into their bento box for lunch!?

In this photo, we have the Hungryroot chicken & spinach sausage (leftover), some corn and bean salad (leftover), a crisped up cauliflower pizza crust (also leftover), and some caesar salad (which I’d made for myself for lunch—just wanted to see if Fo would eat it). Forrest will always (and I mean always) eat this chicken and spinach sausage—it’s one of his favorites. If you want to try Hungryroot, you can get free black bean brownie batter (another kid-friendly favorite) by using PAUSESBROWNIE. Let me know what you think.

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5. Homemade Lunchable

Kids love Lunchables and they’re a frequent purchase in my house. But they are very expensive, so that adds up fast. As it turns out, they’re very easy to make at home. A few slices of deli turkey or ham, a slice or two of your kid’s favorite cheese, and some crackers—boom, you’ve done it. I always add a fruit and something sweet (in this case, a Partake Birthday Cake cookie, which I highly recommend).

If your kiddos prefer pizza Lunchables, you can use small tortillas (these ones are the perfect size), a dollop of spaghetti sauce, and some cheese and pepperoni (all of which are great fridge staples) to recreate them.

The best thing about Lunchables has always been that they are fun and easy for kids to eat—they make food interactive. It’s pretty easy to replicate that at home with little effort (and much less money).

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There you go—5 easy lunch ideas you can apply to your life, preferences, and more. Let me know what you’re favorite easy lunches are for your kids!

4 Signs You Need Boundaries

This month, we’re going to talk about establishing boundaries: in your business, in your personal relationships, and beyond. Establishing boundaries is so important to everyone and something we don’t talk about enough! I hope you find value and comfort in these blog posts. You can read all posts in this series by clicking here.

For years, I heard about setting boundaries. About drawing distinct lines. Putting the toxic people in your life that you wouldn’t be taking anymore or making it clear to your job that after 5pm, you were simply unavailable. I never considered that this was something that applied to me: I was stressed and constantly anxious, but I didn’t consider any of my relationships (with my family, with Danny, or with work) to be toxic enough to need boundaries.

But here’s the thing: toxicity doesn’t necessitate boundaries. A toxic relationship really is the last step in the process, where someone isn’t respecting your boundaries.

Everyone needs boundaries. And some of us are better than others are setting boundaries and keeping them. Some of us are better at recognizing when we need boundaries. So the question here is, of course: what are the signs that we need to set boundaries? Here are a few things I’ve noticed in my own life.

1. You’re Burnt Out.

To me, this is the biggest sign. You find yourself getting snappy and easily annoyed by everything: the people you love, your job, people at the grocery store. You never feel like you’re actually resting. You wake up every morning feeling just as exhausted as the night before and, worse, dreading your day of parenting, working, or interacting with others (or all 3!). That’s burn out, friend, and it’s unfortunately very common, especially among young professional women and mothers. We’re prime targets for not having enough boundaries, imposter syndrome, and feeling like we have to reach peak productivity to be important.

It goes without saying: if you’re feeling signs of burn out, you need to establish boundaries. Here are a few you might consider:

• Setting strict work hours and not adjusting these unless it is a bonafide emergency (as defined by you, not your boss, not your client).

• Scheduling in quiet time for yourself everyday. This might be a bath, watching a movie by yourself in your bedroom, organizing your closet, whatever.

• Taking a week off every 6 weeks to reset, recharge, and get some much needed chores done (or just relax).

2. You can’t get anything done.

It’s not procrastination: it’s stress, baby! Because you’re constantly taking on things for other people, allowing yourself to be interrupted or distracted, you find yourself pulled between 100 different tasks and stuck, unable to complete any of them. The laundry that needs folded. The living room that needs cleaned desperately. The dinner that needs cooked. The client project’s that need tackled. There is so much to do and it’s so overwhelming—but the emails don’t stop, your husband standing in the door asking about your child’s favorite stuffed animal doesn’t stop, said child running in to ask to go on a hike… it doesn’t stop.

Between the disruptions, the overwhelm, and everything else, you just can’t get anything done. It feels too hard, too overwhelming. It’s a sign you need boundaries. Here are a few suggestions:

• Set filters on your email or politely ask friends, associates, and clients to limit their emails to you throughout the day.

• Remind those in your household to keep interruptions to a minimum. Using a red-light/green-light system for your kids is really effective.

• Write a to do list of less than 5 items to help narrow your focus and trim away the fluff. If other tasks can be delegated back to clients or coworkers, do that and communicate that this is not a task you can take on.

3. You feel like you don’t have any space of your own.

Speaking of email… your email is full of people asking questions, getting your advice and emotional energy for totally free. Your Instagram DMs are full of people asking questions about your content, your posts, everything. You get texts from clients. You feel like you don’t have any space that you can control, that doesn’t feel overwhelming and demanding.

This is an interesting point because it might feel like it doesn’t differentiate from the others. But I think the point here is: sometimes we have to set boundaries on our communication and carve out space for ourselves that doesn’t feel like it drains us. You might want to just enjoy Instagram and not be bombarded by repetitive DMs! Or you might want to reply to fun emails from friends that don’t ask for favors, free advice, or whatever. You want to enjoy those digital (or physical) spaces without the pressure to be working, productive, providing a service, or answering questions that you’ve already answered.

Here are a few boundaries you might consider:

• Setting up filters in your email. (Seriously, this helps SO MUCH).

• Communicating with friends that you love talking about your work, but that you simply can’t provide free services to them. (This is a hard one for me too, so I get it!)

• Setting clear standards on Instagram and other social media about what kind of messages you will and won’t respond to.

4. You feel guilty constantly.

You’re behind on a client deadline, but can’t focus because you feel so bad that your child is out in the living room alone. You go play with your child only to feel guilty that you should be working on that massive to do list for a client project.

Everything you do makes you feel guilty. Every choice makes you feel guilty. You never feel like you can rest because you feel so guilty.

Carrying guilt is so common these days. There’s a lot to think about, a lot to worry about, and, of course, a lot to feel guilty about. However, if you’re feeling guilt over everything you’re doing and not doing, you need to create some boundaries to free yourself from those feelings and expectations.

Here are a few ideas:

• When you find yourself spiraling into guilt, set up a series of actions to take, such as taking a walk, listening to a song you love, or doing literally anything else besides stewing in your guilt.

• Make a schedule and stick to it: these are the hours you work, these are the hours you spend with your kids, these are the hours you have to yourself.

I Tried Hilma So You Don't Have To

Do you get chronic head tension? Do you take a lot of Excedrin Migraine?

Are you me?

I know I’m not alone in having head tension; it’s an incredibly common issue and it can be triggered by long stretches at your computer (guilty), carrying tension in your shoulders (guilty), and stress (also guilty). It goes without saying, but head tension can ruin your day. If I don’t take care of mine (by lying with a heating pad, taking some Excedrin, or relaxing for a while), it can rapidly morph into a migraine… which is exactly what happened to me last weekend.

It’s been a long time since I was so excited to try (and review) a product. But when Hilma approached me in July about trying some of their products, I was really, really excited. Why? Because even though Excedrin Migraine works for my head tension, I don’t exactly love taking it as much as I do. There is definitely a warning on that bottle about only taking a dose every 24 hours and while I never test that, it does make me nervous. Having a natural alternative, or something that I could take to help prevent head tension (or stiff shoulders, or whatever) would make me a lot happier.

That’s where Hilma comes in.

What is Hilma?

Like many people, over the last few years, I’ve started swapping out my cleaning products in my house. Nontoxic soaps, all natural cleaners. They keep everything just as clean without worrying about what you’re leaving behind—especially if you have kids.

The creators of Hilma found themselves doing the same thing and realized there was space in our medicine cabinets for more natural remedies. Here’s a brief summary from their website:

“We needed a NEW STANDARD for getting back on our feet.

When we looked for the products we wanted, we found that the natural options weren’t backed by science. And the products backed by science didn’t hold up to our clean label standards.

That’s when we decided to create the standard we were looking for — NATURAL REMEDIES, BACKED BY SCIENCE.

And now, after two years of research, assembling a world-class team of scientists, and kicking off three clinical studies, Hilma is here.”

(You can read more here.)

Think of Hilma as an alternative to your medicine cabinet staples, made with all natural ingredients that are also backed by science.

I’m always a little suspicious of medical products that claim to be all natural and effective. Often because those things are a little woo-y and ultimately act as placebos. (I’m looking at you, essential oils.) However, the thing I love about Hilma is their dedication to science, funding studies to show the effectiveness of their products, and really looking to improve people’s health without the worry.

I would classify most of Hilma’s products as both treatments and preventatives. You, like me, can take Tension Relief in the morning along with your vitamins (Ritual, in my case). Or, if you find yourself feeling some head tension or stress in your shoulders, you can take it at that moment. It’s an either or situation: preventative or treat.

That doesn’t mean your traditional products won’t have a place in your medicine cabinet anymore, but rather that you have some things to try before turning to the big things.

One more great thing about Hilma: their products are free from milk, egg, soy, and tree nuts, which means if you have an allergy to those (checking in with a soy allergy here!), you can rest a little easier about your medicine cabinet.

What products have I tried?

Here’s a review of everything I’ve tried from Hilma so far.

Immune Support

This is the first product I tried and wow, it’s good. It’s a powdered supplement intended to boost your immune system; it contains Zinc, Vitamin C (Camu Camu), Echinacea, Ginger, and more. You can add it to hot or cold water, or mix it into smoothies, popsicles, whatever you want really. It tastes great plain (hot is best! It’s almost like a turmeric tea). When it comes to immune support, it’s always hard to say “this helped!” or “this didn’t!” but the most important thing is do I feel like I’m supporting my immune system here? Yes, definitely. In college, I basically drank Emergen-C (bought in a huge package at Costco, natch) by the gallon to keep myself from getting sick. Immune Support is an alternative to that: just as much vitamin C, but without all the… extra.

Upset Stomach Relief

Danny has stomach problems—always has and always will. We go through a lot of Tums in our house. Like a lot of Tums. We have the traditional Tums chewables (those chalky ones that I also lived on when I was pregnant), the new chewy kind that have fancy flavors like Peppermint and Lemonade, Rolaids, Pepto-Bismal. We have a lot of upset stomach medicines in our medicine cabinet.

It goes without saying I was really hoping that the Upset Stomach Relief would work for Danny as something he could take in the morning every day and not have to eat so many Tums, Rolaids, and other things throughout the day. At first, he took this just when he started not feeling good. A few hours later, he said, “that really worked. I feel so much better and I haven’t taken any Tums.”

Honestly, if that’s not success, I don’t know what is.

I have also tried the Upset Stomach Relief—after a barbecue in the hot sun where I ate a burger and a hot dog and ice cream because, it’s a BBQ, what am I supposed to do? It helped so much that I was almost a little shocked.

Upset Stomach relief contains Chamomile, Artichoke Leaf, Ginger Root and more and is designed to help acid indigestion, heartburn, and upset stomach.

Tension Relief

Tension Relief is my favorite product. If you can’t tell, it was the inspiration for my intro today. Head tension is something I’ve struggled with for years and I know it’s because I often find myself shaped fully like a shrimp while sitting at my desk. I carry all my stress in my shoulders. When I go to the chiropractor, he always says, “Your top vertebra has just decided not to come to work today.” This is not uncommon for women my age who work jobs like mine (at a desk, in front of a computer, typing 85% of the day).

Like I said, I take a lot of Excedrin Migraine, but I know that ibuprofen is simply not good for my stomach. It’s just not! If you take too much, you’re in serious danger and I don’t like thinking about that too much.

I was so excited to try Tension Relief. I’ve been taking it every single day since I received it; I usually just take one capsule in the morning alongside my vitamins and then, if I need a second later in the day, I’ll take it. I’ve definitely noticed less head tension. There are somedays where I still will get a tension headache, but I think that’s just kind of the way it is sometimes. Even with Excedrin Migraine, there are days where it doesn’t come close to touching my head tension.

If you get chronic tension headaches, I think this is the one product you should order immediately. The others are good, but this one is so good.

Tension Relief contains  White Willow Bark, Magnesium, Boswellia, Feverfew, and Skullcap, ingredients that are proven to help relieve tension.

Want to try Hilma?

I think you’re going to love it. You can use my code at checkout to get 20% off your first order!

Disclaimer: links throughout this post are affiliate links. Using these helps me keep the lights on here at Writing Between Pauses. You can learn more about my disclosure policy here.

How to Set Boundaries As A Mom

Happy August! This month, we’re going to talk about establishing boundaries: in your business, in your personal relationships, and beyond. Establishing boundaries is so important to everyone and something we don’t talk about enough! I hope you find value and comfort in these blog posts.

A few months ago, I was talking to my therapist about how difficult it felt to give my son the attention he needs while also finishing my work. She asked me a few questions about how we spent our time during the day. I talked about the added pressure I felt to be doing activities with him: making things and keeping him entertained.

“It sounds like you need some boundaries,” she said.

We kept talking on our Zoom call and when I hung up, I sat for a while thinking about what she had said. Boundaries? With your kids?

I knew all about setting boundaries: I have pretty strict boundaries set up between my work and my life, such as no working after a certain time, taking every other Friday off, not checking my email on my phone, and more. But as a mother, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what it mean to establish boundaries as a mother. With my kid!

We tend to think of setting boundaries as an ultimatum, as something negative or a consequence of something bad happening. But the truth is, the more I thought about what my therapist said (and the more we talked about it over the next few weeks), the more I realized that setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a good thing!

Let’s talk through a few points about setting boundaries as a mother (or parent!). (As a reminder, I’m not a counselor or therapist; this is just what I’ve learned from researching and establishing boundaries in my own life.)

What does it mean to establish boundaries as a mother?

Imagine it: you’re in your office, working away at a task that shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes. 5 minutes in, your son rushes in and needs help. You get up to help him. 5 minutes later, you’re back at your desk… and your son rushes in again to ask you to do something else (fill in the blank: make a comic book, make cookies, go to grandma’s…) That 30 minute task stretches out to an hour, 2 hours, as you work to give your child the attention he needs (because you feel guilty if you say no).

“Sometimes we need to set boundaries around things to protect our own mental health, and that’s ok.⠀⠀”

— ourmamavillage on Instagram

Now, imagine this scenario: you’re in your office, working away at a task that shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes. 5 minutes in, your son rushes in and needs help. You say, “Did you check the door?” He loops back and see’s the “red light” sight on the door, which means “give me time.”

Establishing boundaries isn’t about punishing our kids or making them feel unimportant in comparison to our jobs. It is about providing us the ability to get our work done and not lose our minds in the process.

As working moms (or not working moms, but just moms trying to get shit done during the day), we can often feel like we don’t deserve to set these boundaries because being a parent is one of our jobs of many. We manage homes and schedules, we work jobs, we do the laundry, and we entertain the kids. And if entertaining the kids gets in the way of the other jobs, well, shouldn’t we prioritize our kids? Not necessarily.

You deserve to set boundaries because:

• You deserve to be able to finish a simple task in a short amount of time.

• You need space and rest just as much as anyone else, including your children.

• Your child will benefit immensely from it as well.

How can you set boundaries with young kids?

There is a lot written out there about establishing boundaries with mothers. That is, if you’re an adult and you have a difficult or toxic mother who interferes with your life. There is considerably less out there about establishing boundaries with kids, probably because this is relatively new for women, especially in the millennial generation. We were raised to think kids were our 100% and the current media bent (as well as hospital initiatives like BFHI) is that we should martyr ourselves for the good of our children. However, running ourselves on empty for the sake of our kids… isn’t great either, we just don’t have the evidence to support it quite yet.

So when it comes to setting boundaries with your kids, what can you do?

• Put a small sign on your office door to indicate if they can come in and ask you a question. (My son responds well to “red light” and “green light” signs as he understands what these mean without being able to read.)

• Communicate your boundaries clearly, in language that children understand at their developmental stage. (“When mom is working in your office, please knock before coming in or asking a question” will work for older kids; it won’t work for a 3-year-old!)

• Enforce that some areas are off limits for kids, such as your bedroom or your office. Remind them to knock or ask politely before coming in to ask you something.

• Let kids feel the consequences of a boundary being crossed. It’s easy to give in when kids are sad or disappointed. However, keeping boundaries enforced for both of your sakes is important. Let them understand the consequences and feel the emotion.

What does setting boundaries teach our children?

Setting boundaries in our lives is really hard. We’re all tempted to let them go at certain times (like when your boss texts you to do something ASAP), but setting boundaries, and protecting our mental health, isn’t just good for us. It’s good for our kids too.

Here’s a great post from ourmamavillage on Instagram that I highly recommend you read the entire caption!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jess: Therapist for Parents (@ourmamavillage) on Jul 9, 2020 at 6:15am PDT

Here’s the summary though: it’s kids job to ask for the world. That’s their job! However, giving them the world doesn’t teach them anything about boundaries or what is best for them. If you child asked for ice cream for every meal, they’d be very happy if they got it for every meal. However, they probably wouldn’t feel very good after a few days. It’s our job as parents to create the boundary that says, “you can have ice cream with dinner, but not for every meal. In the meantime, let’s talk about what kind of ice cream we’ll have with dinner!”

In the same way, setting our boundaries as parents helps them learn to set boundaries, protect their own mental health, and respect the needs of others.

How do we stop feeling guilty about establishing boundaries?

Now, here’s the big one: how do we stop feeling guilty?

Part of the reason we feel so guilty is because we are inundated with media that suggests we should feel guilty. Would I have been happier postpartum if I hadn’t read article after article about feeling guilty about not being able to breastfeed? Possibly. If I had just sat down my phone and focused on what was working, would I have been happier in the choices I had to make? I actually am pretty sure of that. Would we feel less worry if we didn’t Google things? Also, definitely.

There are entire Instagram accounts dedicated to feeling guilty, momshame, breastfeeding this, bottle feeding that. It’s easy to get stuck in the idea that there is one best way to parent and we have to follow it or else we’re doing something wrong.

Here’s what I want to ask you: do you think moms in the 1950s were laying awake every night wondering if they were doing it right? The answer is, maybe a few did, but probably not as much as now. Here’s another question: do you think your mother lied awake at night feeling guilty for not letting you have everything you asked for? I know my mom definitely struggled and didn’t get enough time to herself (sorry mom! I love you!), but I don’t think she felt that guilty when she closed her bedroom door and turned up the TV.

If you struggle with guilt (and trust me, there have been a lot of nights in the last 6 months where I’ve lied awake worried that we haven’t done anything fun for Forrest), here’s my advice: stop consuming media about feeling guilty as a mother. Unfollow the Instagram accounts that seem to bathe in their guilt publicly. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel guilty. Stop Googling about it! And most important, set the boundaries so that, when you are in a space to be just with your child, you’re able to have more fun than when you’re letting yourself be run dry.

If you start you feel guilt settling (and sometimes we feel guilt in our body before we think about it), remind yourself that you’re doing your best and that you are protecting both your needs and your child’s (or children’s) needs, that you have a hard job, and our lives right now are not normal. However, if you show your kids love, respect their emotions, and do the best you can… they will be fine. They don’t need supermom.

3 Affordable Sundresses for Plus-Size Women

Good dresses are hard to find, especially if you’re on the plus-size end of the sizing spectrum. I’m sort of right in the middle: at the end of straight sizes and the start of plus-sizes. Sometimes, it’s really hard to tell what size I wear and how I look; there are some stores were the largest sizes simply are never going to fit me and some stores where I wear Mediums and size 10s. It’s hard to know and gauge!

However, I’ve gotten pretty good at hunting down the best items out there for people who are like me and in need of expanded sizes. Target is getting a lot better at this—in fact, one of their labels, Wild Fable, has some incredible sizing. They carry XS to 4X in nearly everything, and up to 2X in stores. That’s pretty incredible, although I wish they went past 2X in stores! Finding good clothes shouldn’t be such a challenge, but here we are.

When I find a good piece, I usually buy multiple of it: different colors, of course, but if I know I like it, it’s hard to not want it in every color possible! Right now, the weather is so warm nearly everywhere, we’re all thinking of sundresses and staying as cool as possible. And hey, just because you wear a larger size doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cool and comfortable. It’s really stinkin’ hot here in Oregon right now (it’s been 90+ every single day up until yesterday, when it dipped into the 80s—the 80s!) so I’m in sundresses basically 24/7.

Alright, let’s jump into it! Here are my 3 favorite sundresses you can find at Target!

Dress 1: Sleeveless Smocked Dress from Wild Fable, $28.00

I impulse bought this dress in yellow at Target while on a weekend trip to Bend. It was hotter than I expected it to be, I had packed leggings and sweatshirts to wear, and I just needed something I wouldn’t sweat profusely in. Enter, this dress. I bought it in yellow to start with, wore it nonstop for a week, then bought a second in the pink color. They have been staples in my closet ever since then: they’re so easy to throw on and wear a sweatshirt or t-shirt over, or wear with a swimsuit, or lounge around the house in. So many ways to wear them! The only downside is they are kind of see-through; if I wear them out, I wear a slip underneath or similarly colored underwear.

I wear a size Large in this dress. For reference, I usually wear a Large t-shirt and 12-14 size in most jeans. The top is fitted, but very stretchy, and pretty accommodating for all bust sizes.

This dress comes in sizes XS to 4X and in 4 colors (black, pink, yellow, and orange). At my local Target, they’ve had plenty of all the colors except black, which is pretty consistently picked over. However, it looks like all colors are available from the website!

Dress 2: Short Sleeve Knit Babydoll Dress from Wild Fable, $17.00

I bought this dress—a short sleeve t-shirt dress—at the same time as I bought the pink version of the first dress. It was an impulse, sort of; I spotted it, liked it, and decided to try it, telling myself I would return it if I hated it. I didn’t hate it! It fit great. This is one of those dresses that I think will wear well into Fall and Winter too; a pair of tights and a cardigan and it won’t be out of place.

I wear a size Large in this dress as well. One thing to note is that the top is definitely a bit more fitted, but the fabric is stretchy, so again, I think there is some leeway with sizing here. This dress also comes in sizes XS to 4X, but only one color—black with small white stripes.

Dress 3: Women’s Sleeveless Bib Knit Babydoll Dress from Wild Fable, $16.00

This is my most recent Target purchase—and yes, it’s another Wild Fable dress. This one is a nice, soft spaghetti strap dress that fits like a dream. Again, I wear a size Large in this dress and it’s definitely roomy. Wild Fable runs kind of bigger than I would typically expect. I like this dress because the top fits really well and the fabric is so soft and comfy. This is another dress that I think will carry well into Fall and Winter; I have this idea already of layering it over a turtleneck.

For right now, the mustard yellow version is perfect for wearing while listening to Taylor Swift’s folklore and pretend it’s fall. Add a beret or beanie and you’re basically Taylor Swift.

This dress comes in sizes XS to 4X and 5 colors (black, blue, mustard yellow, pink, and striped). I own the striped one (it’s black with white and sort of rust orange stripes—very 90s!) and the mustard yellow. Both are super cute!

Freebie: My Checklist for Daily Organization

I’m so excited to be sharing the last installment of my Let’s Get Organized series. Organization is not about perfection; it’s about having the tools and systems in place to make your life easier, whenever you need it. If you’d like to see May-June’s series on Daily Routines, click here. If you’d like to read the previous posts in the Let’s Get Organized series, click here.

Today’s post is going to be short-and-sweet. I feel like I’ve shared everything I can about creating an organization system that works for you and just you. To reiterate, here’s what to focus on:

• Small spaces first, and then larger.

• Focus on the issue that is keeping that space disorganized (such as too many papers, not having the right storage system, etc) and not the aesthetics.

• Small, daily organization works better than every-6-month-organization-spree.

On that last note, I have a daily organization checklist I’ve been using to help clean up my spaces.

Every week, I print a fresh copy, write out my to do items for keeping my newly organized spaces, well, organized, and then pop it on the fridge to remind me. Here are a few examples of my daily organization items:

• Sort and file new mail.

• Shred any papers in my office that I don’t need.

• Clear kitchen counters and put away clutter.

• Load, run, and empty dishwasher and dish strainer.

I really hope this checklist will be helpful to you as you try to become more organized!

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