I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. When I was younger, I used to worry about how the small choices I made throughout the day could impact my life later; as a child, this meant I would sometimes wonder if a choice I made, like between ice cream or a cookie for a snack, could impact me later on. Like if I chose the ice cream, I'd be okay; but if I chose the cookie, it would start a sequence of events that could hurt me. I don't know why I thought this way, but I did and it's an idea that's followed me forever. I've occasionally attributed big mistakes or big accidents to little decisions I made that really had nothing to do with anything at all, probably because of my childhood theory.
What I'm trying to say is: I've made a lot of mistakes and sometimes, I blame them on weird things.
Take, for example, my typing in "100" in the little box on Goodreads for my 2015 reading goal. I felt really ill on Friday; my legs hurt, my throat started to hurt, I was uncomfortable and cranky and feverish. I didn't feel good, so I ate a lot of chocolate and ice cream. Clearly, this junk food binge lead me down a path towards a moment of temporary insanity because as I was selecting books I wanted to read on Goodreads, it really did seem like a good idea to pledge myself to reading 100 books in the coming year.
Ha! I'm a fool. 100 books? Madness.
Saturday morning, having woken up with an even worse sore throat and a fever, I set myself to quietly drinking coffee and making a list of 100 books to read in 2015. The fever had obviously lengthened my brief moment of insanity. However, as I wrote out a list of 100 books, it started to dawn on me that... 100 is a lot. It's 2 and 1/4 pages typed in a list. It's 100 books, Michelle, what were you thinking???
The deed is done though and once I announce something (and by hitting "save" on Goodreads, I announced it plenty), I don't back down. It's about honor now. Principle. Dignity.
So I started to fool myself into it, as I continued writing my list of books: "100 books isn't that many, really. I mean, two a week! You can read two books a week! You've read way more than two books a week before." This is true; I can easily read two books a week if I already own those books. But buying two books a week and reading them and having time for, um, everything else??? That's a lot to ask of myself.
It's been done though. I have a list of 100 books. In 2015, I'm going to read 100 books. To follow my progress (or, um, lack thereof), you can add me on Goodreads.