The Truth About Time Management

It’s 9am on a Tuesday. Maybe you’ve already started your day; you’ve had your coffee and your breakfast, you’ve taken your kids (if you have them) to daycare or school. If you work at an office, you’ve arrived, dressed and ready for the day, and settled at your computer. If you work from home, you’re in your home office, ready to start your day.

But then, you don’t. You chat with a coworker, send a few texts, scroll through Instagram. You check your email, maybe answer a few. Your to do lists sits beside you at your desk, or stuck on your computer screen, but you aren’t paying attention to that.

Time management looks different to everyone. You might be naturally very good at it; when you need to get something done, you just do it. Procrastination isn’t part of your world! Or maybe you struggle to stay on track; you get easily distracted by coworkers, chat screens, Instagram, or other tasks that are important, but not high priority. You might think that people in that second group need to take a note from the first group. But what if I told you that both types of people can struggle with time management?

I am a to do list follower. I write a list every day and I do my best to get it done. But I’m always very easily distracted. While I’m cleaning the bathroom, I might just start reorganizing my closet (my walk-in closet opens up from the bathroom!) or I might start reorganizing and cleaning out my make up collection. When I’m mopping the floors, I might sit down to order some of that stuff you put under rugs to keep them from the sliding all over. I’m easily distracted by secondary or tertiary tasks. When I’m writing social media for a client, I often find myself auditing their lifetime social media, which is outside the scope of my work but sometimes a necessary evil. These tasks aren’t unimportant, but they’re not the task I am trying to accomplish.

It’s hard to stay on task so to speak—and that’s where time management often comes in.

So how can you improve your time management skills? How can you actually accomplish what you mean to?

I think the first step is working on prioritizing your tasks, narrowing down your goals, and putting your time where it matters most. You don’t need to manage your time if you focus in and have tasks that don’t leave you bored, overwhelmed, or frantic.

Using the 5/25 Method for Prioritizing

For the past few months, I’ve been using what’s called the 5/25 method for narrowing down my to do list when I feel particularly overwhelmed, frazzled, or easily distracted. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Write down 25 things you want to do, feel like you need to do, or have to do. This can be your existing to do list, but anything else that’s been nagging at you.

Step 2: Cross out 20 of those items. Be ruthless and don’t spend too much time thinking about it.

Step 3: Rewrite your list with the 5 items you have left. These are your TOP priorities!

That’s it. That’s the entire method! It’s simple, quick, and very effective. In the process, you might notice there are items on your to do list that simply aren’t serving you or your goals. A prime example, for me, is that I’ve had “make a spreadsheet for expenses” on my list for months. Yet, I haven’t done it… because I track all my expenses in Quickbooks anyway. Why do I need a separate spreadsheet? It’s already done for me! I crossed it off my list for good at that point.

I find this method particularly helpful because it requires you to address a few specific needs:

• what you need to get done

• what you want to get done

• what you have the capacity to do

• and what tasks are serving your longterm goals

Let’s look at another specific example. One task I always include on my weekly to do list is posting on LinkedIn and sending follow up messages to my connections. This is a part of communication as a freelancer that I struggle with, because it’s a soft skill I’m working on actively developing. This is something I need to do and prioritize in order to grow my business and develop stronger connections with my peers—but doing it often falls to the bottom of my list. However, if I follow the 5/25 method, I recognize it as a high priority task and it becomes one of the 5—whereas things like “buy storage bins for under bed” and “clean laundry room” get crossed off in comparison.

Using this method day-to-day can help you determine how to best manage your time and meet your goals.

Setting Goals for November (& 2020!)

I’ll be honest: I really didn’t think my 31st trip around this planet would be quite this dramatic. While the past 3 months have been particularly rough, it’s generally been kind of a weird year for me. Actually, the last several years have been super weird in ways I wasn’t always totally prepared for. In many ways, I’ve lost a lot of the wind in my sails that I had previously. My motivation? Gone. My productivity? Non-existent.

I’m working on getting better about it (and part of it is going to therapy and improving other parts of my life that need it).

Several years ago (like in… 2013?) I started doing this thing where I set small goals for myself every single day to pull myself out of a pretty serious slump. I would basically try to do something specific every single day for a week, then pick something else the next week—basically to get myself back into the groove of doing those things. I remember one of my goals being “making my own dinner” (instead of like eating cereal out of a box) everyday and another being “get dressed” every day. Those little baby steps really helped me at that time and I’ve realized I need to start doing things like that now.

It feels so weird to me sometimes that for a long stretch of my life, I was so regimented, motivated, and on top of everything in my life—granted, I was in college, so it wasn’t really that hard. But man! How things have changed!

The hard part is that, of course, I have a lot more responsibilities than I did in 2013 and sometimes they can be incredibly overwhelming in a way that I don’t know how to deal with.

Anyway, that’s a very personal intro to say: I, just like everyone else, am working on who I am and who I want to be; I want to be a better version of myself and I assume you also want to be a better version of yourself; and I hope that learning about my process can help you a little bit. Ultimately, my goal for blogging has always been to share a little bit of my life and help other people in whatever way I can—whether you are looking for a new foundation or are anxious about your career.

As I said, setting small goals has been a huge help to me in the past. For the past week, I’ve been hemming and hawing about how to get myself back in gear and feeling like myself again. What can I do to make things easier? I’ve reorganized my planners & journals, I’ve starting writing down a master to do list of everything I’ve been avoiding for 3 months, and I’ve written down a series of baby steps to help myself get back on the wagon. I wanted to walk through a few of my goals, share what I’m doing, and how I’m implementing everything.

So, without further ado, here are my goals for the end of October into November, and how they translate into my long-term goals for 2020.

1. Pick one weekly goal every week.

I have a planner from 52 Lists (which I highly recommend!) and I’ve started using it to keep track of my weekly master to do list (basically, the to list I have had basically exactly the same for about 12 weeks now), as well as my weekly goals. Here are a few examples of my weekly goals for the next several weeks:

• Take a walk daily.

• Speak to someone besides Danny, my mom, or Forrest every day.

• Journal.

• Get dressed and/or make myself presentable.

I know a lot of those seems really basic (get dressed!?) but let me tell you: the past 6 months have been some of the hardest for me in terms of doing basic, every day “normal” tasks. It goes without saying that I haven’t been having an easy time. It’s hard to talk about, but in many ways, I’m trying to reteach myself how to function every single day as someone other than Forrest’s mother. When things were hardest for me, and I was at my most low mentally, it was easiest for me to channel everything into “do it for Forrest, just get Forrest to school” or “just make sure Forrest is fed and happy”, which took the onus off of me. It was mentally a relief, but I’ve been wearing leggings + baggy t-shirt everyday for a year and a half now; it’s probably time to do something about that.

Anyway, I’m working on getting myself back into the swing of things. Speaking of which…

2. Create & maintain a schedule.

The hardest part of having a child has been the lack of schedule sometimes. When you’re a stay-at-home-mom, you aren’t going anywhere. No one is depending on you, or asking you for anything.

In 2014 and 2015, I was going to work everyday. Waking up, taking a shower, getting dressed, going to work. After I had Forrest, that schedule started to erode. No one really talks about this (or maybe they do, I just haven’t seen it), but having a child really does throw everything sideways. For 3 and a half years, I’ve woken up at 5:30 am or earlier and immediately had a small person attached to me. Maybe sometimes, he napped away from me, but most of the time, he didn’t. If I woke up in the morning, I might have time to make coffee, but not shower; I might have enough time to get dressed in somethings besides leggings (or, maybe not!!), but showering was often out of the question. My schedule eroded. It became wake up to crying baby, get him, feed him, get him changed and dressed, make coffee in a rush, put on clothes that don’t make me feel awful about myself, and get him to my mom’s so I could get to work. Or, if I was home with him, it was jumping into whatever activity I had planned, doing laundry, cleaning, or whatever.

Basically: I need a schedule again. I have to start taking care of myself in the morning again.

It’s challenging because Forrest already wakes up early, so waking up any earlier is extremely painful. Parenthood makes you tired. I’m also 31 now (happy birthday to me!) and I need more sleep than ever, it feels like. Stress, anxiety, depression, and a constant heavy mental load mean I’m just a lot more tired than I used to be—and probably have a headache on top of it.

However, even if I’m working at home, I realize I need a schedule. I need to have expectations. Even if it means just putting on a bra and a different pair of leggings for the day at home with Forrest, that’s probably enough.

So, yes, one of my biggest goals for November and December is starting to have structure in my life again. I need it, I’ve missed it, and I’ve got to do it if I want to feel better anytime soon.

3. Finish NaNoWriMo.

It goes without saying: my biggest goal for November is to finish NaNoWriMo!!! I’m really excited for my story this year and it’s honestly the one thing propelling me through what has been a not-so-great month otherwise.

4. Plan & launch one product before March 2020.

Some of the sneakiest of my readers noticed I had casually added a Products page to my website and then promptly removed it. (It technically still exists, but is in progress!) I’ve had this idea to start selling small ebooks for about a year now, but it makes me nervous. I launched an e-course as a tester a few months ago and it seriously fizzled, but that was partly my fault. One of the things I find most difficult is creating buzz for my own content and really selling it. I don’t like being a salesman, but I’ve realized if I want to be in control of my own life and work, I need to try something different—and selling myself as a freelance writer (and a good one!) means doing sales.

I’ve had several ideas for ebooks and workbooks for a long time, but actually going through with it has been incredibly challenging. I’m my own worst critic and I realize I just need to do it, if I’m ever actually going to get anything done. So yes!! Watch this space!!

Doing My Taxes Makes Me Feel Grown Up

As an adult, you have to take the highs with the lows. Nothing exemplifies this quite like doing your taxes. 

If you've ever used TurboTax, you've experienced the joy, and the heartache, of watching the amount of your refund (or the amount of taxes you owe) change as you enter W2s. By the end of entering your income, you're at the bottom of the barrel, the dredges: if you owe money back, the number looks huge, monumental, unfair. 

But then, the roller coaster changes and you aren't aimed down anymore. You enter deductions. Student loan interest. Mortgage interest. That number changes again -- it soars with each deduction, each business expense. You're elated, your overjoyed. 

Ok, maybe that's just my experience with taxes. The last few years, I have had teeny tiny refunds and then owed state taxes -- an experience I don't really enjoy. This year, however, I made more money, paid a mortgage, and helped pay Danny's student loans. My taxes were a much more roller coaster experience -- but the end result made me ecstatic. 

More than anything, I realized how old I am: how much I enjoy putting in numbers and learning more about the tax system, the amount of money I should owe and the amount I overpay. I enjoy the process of this learning and, more than anything, I like feeling like an adult who does her taxes herself (well, kind of -- thanks for the TurboTax, Mom!). 

Now, post-taxes, I can uncork a bottle of wine and wait for my refund checks to roll in -- so I can plop them right into savings again.