Book Review: Everyday Mindfulness by Melissa Steginus

I promise someday I won’t start every single blog post the same way, but I do think it stands repeating: the last year has been tough for all of us. It’s been a tougher year for other people and we all know that—even if we’re exceedingly privileged (and I’ll count myself in that category), this has been a tough year mentally. As we come up on the one year anniversary of the start of lockdowns in the US (Oregon closed schools and went into lockdown on my husband’s birthday, March 14, which is a grim anniversary to be quite honest), a lot of us are having an even more difficult time.

I know I am. It’s been a full year of this, of not seeing my friends, of not traveling, of not having much to look forward to.

But I do want to say: we are all so resilient. Even if you’ve had a tough time, you’ve made it, you’re still here. You’re reading this blog post, you want to improve or find hope or have an easier time adapting to a new world. You wake up every day and even if all you do is survive, you do it. That deserves celebration.

In December, I was sent the book Everyday Mindfulness by Melissa Steginus. Melissa is a “coach and wellness specialist helping people structure their work and lives to be intentional, empowering, and fulfilling.” That’s right up my alley, right? My word for 2021 is intentional: living intentionally, making decisions with intent, and finding joy in small things. Basically: romanticizing my life! I love books about mindfulness, especially ones like this that act as workbooks, and I was so ready to dive in.

(If you’d like to read more about Melissa, you can click here to go to her website!)

Here are a few things I love about this book: it works on a day-to-day system, which lets you break down each section into a single day. If you’re new to mindfulness, or even new to journaling (my favorite!), this is perfect: you can use each day as an opportunity to really commit to yourself and your goals. There are 108 days worth of activities—that’s about 3 months. Perfect for getting started on the right foot this year!

Working your way through each section of the book and each activity gives you a full picture of mindfulness. This is really a book meant to be consumed from cover to cover—it’s an investment and a powerful one, if you let it! But it’s not meant to be opened to a random page and read quickly.

When I told my therapist about this book, she was really excited because it’s everything she’s been trying to tell me, in bits and pieces, for years. The good thing about it is that it’s all right here in one convenient book—perfect for people who like to work their way through things slowly, with the ability to flip back.

Everyday Mindfulness is divided into 6 larger sections: Physical; Emotional; Rational; Spiritual; Occupation; and Network. For me, I know I needed to spend more time listening to my body (in a way that wasn’t overly anxious and stressful—Dr. Google is not my friend) and managing my time and energy in my career and relationships. I haven’t quite gotten to sections 5 and 6 quite yet, but I’m really excited for them. Each section has given me a better view of myself and how I can live more mindfully, while also giving me an opportunity to relax, reflect, and de-stress every single day.

If you’re in the market for a book to help with your stress levels, or just living more intentionally, this is my top recommendations. Here are some links you might enjoy as well:

• Melissa’s Website

• TCK Publishing’s website

• Buy the book Everyday Mindfulness here

Thanks for reading!

4 Books for Writing Prompts

Another month, another series! This month, I want to talk about writing: how to become better at writing, how to effectively set writing goals, and much more. So many people love writing, but when it comes down to it, it can be tough to get started. Writing can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In this series, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to really jump into writing. Thanks for joining me! You can see all posts in this series by clicking here. 

Happy Saturday! Today is always a great day to rest and indulge yourself in a few of your favorite hobbies. Maybe you already write a lot (like I do) or maybe you just want to get into the habit. Maybe you just want to relieve some of your weekly stress. 

Either way, I wrote this list of books with the intention that these are a great, low stress way to begin writing every day. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of feeling like you have an idea—and if you are drawing a blank, grabbing a book to start your daily journaling or a quick paragraph of writing is one way to get yourself started. Let’s dive in. 

1. 52 Lists for Calm by Moorea Seal

Have I talked about the 52 Lists books enough? Maybe, maybe not. These are my favorite writing prompt books. They’re more personal, obviously, which makes them perfect for daily journaling. Grabbing a book and finding a single prompt to write about has become part of my daily habit. I love 52 Lists for Calm; it’s focus on releasing stress, addressing what makes us stressed and how we feel, and finding ways to support ourselves to calmness. 

2. 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal

I just bought 52 Lists for Happiness and it goes without saying: I already love it. Right now, I think we all are trying to find joy wherever we can. These prompts have been really helpful to me the last few weeks in trying to find joy in little things and focusing on joy instead of feeling like I have nothing to look forward to. (No shame: one of the prompts inspired me to put up some Christmas decorations because they simply made me happy.) This is another great that is perfect for personal daily journaling, but may help inspire you for creative writing or nonfiction pieces. 

3. Coffee Break Writing by John Gillard

I ordered this book in late July 2019, right after I got laid off. I was unhappy, worried, and trying to find a way to fill the time while I waited to find a job. (In case you’re wondering, it did help a little bit.) I’ve been working my way through it slowly but surely. I typically list books that have prompts I can either write in the book itself or write in my journal with, and these work perfectly. The focus of this book of prompts are ones you can write on quickly during a coffee break. There is a ton of variety and they work for a variety of mediums—whatever you want to write (journals, short stories, poems, blogs), you can adapt them to work for you. 

4. Burn After Writing by Sharon Jones

This book has gone viral on the internet several times. I’ve actually owned 2 copies in my life: the one I have now and one I had I think in college that I really tore up. I can’t remember what I did with my college copy, but I still love this book as much now as I did then. This is another one that is perfect for personal journaling that can inspire you to write creatively. I also love that it’s easy to make this mixed medium: you can paint, draw, tear up, experiment, whatever, while writing about your life, or a make believe life, or whatever is in-between. If you’re looking to really stretch your creative muscles, this is a great option. 

My Favorite Scary Stories

Danny and I always say there is a shortage of good, horror novels. There are some out there in the world, but really good horror novels (that are on-par quality and writing wise with other novels) are so hard to find. As I was writing notes for this post, I kept asking him: have we read anything really scary in the last year?

Neither of us could think of anything that was really, really good. Or October-y. Or spooky.

But we did put together a list of novels that were straight up scary the first time we read them—while also being really well written. I wanted to share that list because these are the spookiest books I could think of to read this month.

1. It by Stephen King

I know! I know! This one’s easy, right? But It is one of my favorite books of all time (minus that one weird scene and you all know what I’m talking about). I’m generally not actually a huge Stephen King fan. I know that’s borderline sacrilegious, but I honestly just don’t like his writing style. Also, he has the bad habit of writing very badly about women like, 65% of the time. Case in point: the way child Beverly is described in this book is one of the most problematic parts of it, and that doesn’t include the infamous scene in the sewers. She’s 11? 12? Dude, calm down.

But problems aside, It is a good book: it’s good at building slow dread and describing the way fear permeates a town. It’s a massive book, and can be slightly slow, but god, it’s worth it.

2. Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll

This is one of the best books I read in 2017 and I stand by this: it’s scary as all hell. Luckiest Girl Alive is about a girl who went to a boarding school, survived a school shooting, and grows up to be a magazine columnist. Except, there’s more to the story. It is a harrowing story and the description of the shooting itself is one of the hardest chapters of a book I’ve ever read. The main character is simultaneously relatable (her obsession with her weight, her hard exterior, her desire to climb socially), but extremely unlikeable (for all the same reasons and more). The way she grows as a person throughout the story—both when she was younger and when she’s older—is great. It’s a fascinating, scary, well-written book. I actually just ordered a physical copy so I could read it again and make up the margins.

3. All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

I read All the Missing Girls in the Spring and loved it. I immediately thought, I’ll come back to this later. It’s a perfect murder mystery to read in the Fall. The way it’s written is probably the best part: it starts at the end and works its way backwards, then moves to the end again. I love a good small town murder mystery and this one is a great read. Twists, turns, small towns, repressed memories… it has it all.

4. I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll

This was another book I read in early 2018, I think, that I absolutely loved. It’s the story of a woman who overhears two girls on a train meeting two boys and agreeing to go party. When a few days later, one of the girls is reported missing, she tells what she knows to the police. Then, things begin to spiral. It’s a great, creepy store that, again, revolves around a mystery. This is another book I need to reread!

Tell me your favorite scary stories! Do you have a book that scared the pants off of you? A short story I need to read immediately?

My October Reading List

It’s here: Blogtober! If you missed my post about Blogtober two weeks ago, you should still totally download my free Blogtober planning guide. It’s not too late to start your own Blogtober schedule.

Here’s the thing about Blogtober & me this year: I’m not going to be posting every single day (I just can’t commit to that alongside everything else), but I am planning to post 3+ times a week; some weeks, it will be 4, or 5. It just depends. I’m not putting a ton of pressure on myself, as I want to be fresh for NaNoWriMo.

My first Blogtober post, I wanted to share my reading list. I don’t often talk about the books I read on my blog; I have very strong opinions about books and I’ve never made friends with them (my Goodreads is a mess because I love writing funny reviews). The last book review I wrote lead to an email in my inbox from the author themselves, chewing me out for not getting it.

However, there’s nothing wrong with a reading list (book twitter has entered the chat), so I wanted to share.

Here’s what I’m reading this October.

1. Harry Potter & the Philosopher’s Stone, by, well, duh

Yeah, so my first book is actually one I’m doing as a buddy read with a few friends. I’m really excited to reread Harry Potter as I haven’t done a complete reread in a while. The first book is actually one of my least favorites (I’m surprised it hooked me enough to keep reading, that’s all I’ll say!), but I’m actually considering buying a new copy to take notes in.

2. Know My Name, by Chanel Miller & Over the Top, by Jonathan Van Ness

Ok, I am including these on my list (because they are in my picture), but the truth is I actually already read them in a total lack of self control. If you’d like full reviews of them, please let me know; I’m always willing to write a good review, because these were amazing books.

3. Gingerbread, by Helen Oyeyemi

I’ve been on the wait list for this book from the library for about 3 months so of course it downloaded three days ago. I’ve heard great things about this book; it’s magical realism (one of my favorites).

4. The Vine Witch, by Luanne G. Smith

I only needed one line of the synopsis for me to buy this book instantly: “A young witch emerges from a curse to find her world upended in this gripping fantasy of betrayal, vengeance, and self-discovery set in turn-of-the-century France.” Yes, yep, I want to read that… once I’m done with Harry Potter and Gingerbread.

What are you reading this October?

Monthly Wrap Up & Empties: September 2018

Originally, I planned to do an Inspiration Sunday post for Blogtober today. But then I realized I had September empties to discuss and it felt more important to do this post. Well, maybe important isn’t the right word… rather, it just seemed to fit better!

September was a big month for us: we were super busy with back to school, Forrest’s birthday, and lots of stuff. And that trend isn’t letting up in October. I have Blogtober, of course, and my birthday on the 20th. Forrest and I are on a mommy-son trip this weekend (I’m writing this in advance, don’t worry!). Next weekend, we have Danny’s parents visiting. Then the last weekend of October will be our Halloween weekend. Then suddenly it will be November. Whew!

I have a lot to talk about for this wrap up, so let’s get started!

Empties: Everything I Used Up

1. OGX Coconut Miracle Oil Shampoo: I reviewed this shampoo here. I love this shampoo and it’s my current favorite. Of all the shampoos I’ve used, it’s the only one that really soothes my scalp and leaves my hair feeling nice. At this point, that’s all I ask!

2. Love Beauty & Planet Murumuru Butter & Rose Magic Masque: I used this mask to help repair my hair after a disastrous PR shampoo I received. (I’m not even reviewing it, it’s that bad!) But I loved this mask! It smells lightly of roses and was so thick and lovely. It immediately helped my damaged, dry hair. You can buy it here.

3. Bliss Drench & Quench Moisturizer: I reviewed this moisturizer here. It’s not my favorite moisturizer ever, but it wasn’t awful. It was mostly just very expensive! This little tub lasted about 6 weeks and cost $20. It’s not a repurchase, that’s for sure.

4. Rosehips Oil: I recently added rosehips oil to my routine to help my dehydrated skin. As you probably know, I sing the praises of jojoba oil for removing makeup and helping improve my skin. However, jojoba as a moisturizer can give me a lot of texture. So I added rosehips oil as a sealant after my moisturizer to help my skin absorb a bit more. It has helped a lot, but I don’t love this one; I suspect the orange oil it’s mixed with hasn’t been helping my skin much!

5. Coty Flawless Complexion Tinted SPF Moisturizer: I discussed this SPF moisturizer in my Ipsy bag review here. I love this SPF, which sucks because it was such a teeny tiny tube! But it is absolutely lovely, hasn’t made me break out, and wears great under make up.

What I’ve Been Up To

Yes, that is the very rarely featured Remus. If you didn’t know (and most probably don’t), I have a beloved chocolate lab named Remus (as in Remus Lupin, the greatest werewolf). Despite playing second fiddle to Forrest, Remus remains my biggest baby. I don’t have any reason for this photo other than I took it while I was doing product photos for my Ipsy bag in September, Remus looked cute, and I can’t resist his big, golden eyes.

Anyway, I thought I’d share a few things I enjoyed from September here for your enjoyment!

1. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger: I impulsively borrowed this book from the library because the jacket contained the words “Highgate Cemetery” and “Victorian.” For whatever reason, when I started it, I thought it would be set in Victorian times. It is absolutely not; it’s set in the early 2000s, which leads to some truly hilarious ensembles worn by the main characters (remember white denim skirts!?). That being said, I still really enjoyed it. Highly recommend! How’s that for a tiny review?

2. Dr. Death: I started listening to this podcast after it was recommended on My Favorite Murder. This was a tough podcast for me to get into, because as I’ve written before, my grandfather was paralyzed by a neck surgery. The center of this podcast is a neurosurgeon who performs bad, irresponsible, and devastating neck and spinal surgeries; he paralyzes multiple people and kills a few. That being said, I really enjoyed it.

3. Summer Wives by Beatriz Williams: I have been waiting for this book on digital hold from the library for weeks and finally, I got it! I was so excited to read it. It’s set on a fictional island off the coast of New York where wealthy families summer for years on end. It was so good and kept me captivated the entire time.

4. Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson: Another book I had waited for weeks on hold! I keep doing this thing where I put holds on books, they take ages, and by the time I get them, I’m not “in the mood” to read them. I had to force myself to read Truly Devious about 4 days before it was due and I am SO glad I did! It was excellent and I found myself so disappointed that the sequel isn’t out yet. If you like mysteries and murder podcasts (which play a surprisingly pivotal role!), you’ll love this book.

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Oh yes, Fall is finally here! Gosh, it feels like time goes by so fast! I hope you’re having a great October and you’ve been loving all the cozy Blogtober content around lately.

Book Review: A Book That Takes Its Time

Do you ever impulse buy something that turns out to be done of the best decisions you ever made? 

That's about how I feel about this book: A Book That Takes Its Time, by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst. I bought this on impulse at Target in late March; it was on sale, it looked pretty, and I was intrigued by the mini notebook that the book opened to automatically. (They know how to sucker me in, honestly.) It was only when I got home that I realized this was more than a fun journaling book; it was a book dedicated to helping people learn mindfulness in a way that is creative and helps ease anxiety. 

“Take time to breathe. Take time to create. Take time to reflect, take time to let go. A book that’s unique in the way it mixes reading and doing, A Book That Takes Its Time is like a mindfulness retreat between two covers.

Created in partnership with Flow, the groundbreaking international magazine that celebrates creativity, beautiful illustration, a love of paper, and life’s little pleasures, A Book That Takes Its Time mixes articles, inspiring quotes, and what the editors call “goodies”—bound-in cards, mini-journals, stickers, posters, blank papers for collaging, and more—giving it a distinctly handcrafted, collectible feeling.

Read about the benefits of not multitasking, then turn to “The Joy of One Thing at a Time Notebook” tucked into the pages. After a short piece on the power of slowing down, fill in the designed notecards for a Beautiful Moments jar. Make a personal timeline. Learn the art of hand-lettering. Dig into your Beginner’s Mind. Embrace the art of quitting. Take the writing cure. And always smile. Move slowly and with intention through A Book That Takes Its Time, and discover that sweet place where life can be both thoughtful and playful.”

I've been pretty open about my mental health here on my blog (although there are certain things I am hesitant to share and I still wonder if my mental health story would be more full if I shared them--but c'est la vie, right now, I'm not sure if I want them as part of my public history). I've shared about my postpartum depression. I've shared the habits I've started to help reduce my anxiety, as well as tips to reduce stress. I've written about how staying creative helps me be a better mom. I've talked on Instagram about how I struggle with boredom (I get bored very easily, but with a toddler to manage, it's hard to actually dedicate myself to projects), as well as perfectionism and imposter syndrome. I feel like I always need to be busy in order to feel productive--and when I'm not productive, I turn to destructive behaviors, like stress eating and napping throughout the day, which only compounds my feelings of boredom and disappointment in myself. 

At the center of A Book That Takes Its Time is the idea that it is ok to slow down; it is ok to not be working every waking hour, even though it has been drilled into us (especially us millennials) that being productive matters more than anything else. That being busy is a competition and if you admit to not being busy, you have somehow failed. 

Each chapter walks you through a specific part of learning to be more mindful about the world around you. About letting yourself just sit in silence for a little while, instead of scrolling through your phone while watching TV. About learning to name the plants and animals you see outside your home, so you can more fully connect to the natural world. About learning hobbies, like lettering and collaging, that give you time to disconnect from the digital world and unwind. 

Learning mindfulness, especially for someone like me who finds themselves thinking of 100 things every second of the day, can be a real challenge. But also at the heart of A Book That Takes Its Time is the idea that once you allow yourself to really relax and be mindful, you actually get more done in the time that you're working. That thought is somewhat revolutionary to me: I tend to think of work as a glass to fill up, that can never overflow. But if you're constantly overflowing, you never really fill the glass. 

I really enjoyed working on all the chapters and activities in this book. It has helped me to relax and really unwind in the evening (instead of lying in the bathtub pretending to relax, but really listening to a marketing podcast and answering emails at the same time). There are some activities I have skipped--like lettering, which is very labor intensive and sparks some feelings of perfectionism for me--but I've otherwise enjoyed just about everything, from learning the names of plants and animals to working on a 30-day writing journal. It has helped me to get back into bullet journaling and feeling passionate about art journaling in the evening. And as a bonus, I have gotten more done since then. 

I don't want to make a grand statement like, this book totally helped my anxiety! That's just not true. I'm still anxious most days. I still struggle with boredom during the day with Forrest and I've yet to find a good solution for that. However, I found reading this book very relaxing and gave me some methods to deal with my feelings of guilt surrounding being busy and working, as well as dealing with my anxiety.

If you're interested, this is a great book for those wanting to learn about being mindful, especially if you're a bit high strung (like me). You can find it on Amazon here. 

My Top 5 Books of 2017 (So Far)

We're almost halfway through 2017. Considering I've shared a few book reviews recently instead of, you know, my normal content, I thought I'd share my favorite books of 2017 so far. 

I've been trying to get lots of reading in during the evenings. I've been working out regularly and to fill those long 45 minutes on the stair stepper, I find reading to be the thing that takes my mind away. So without further ado, here are my top 5 books I've read in 2017 so far.  Also, here's to being almost exactly 50% through my 2017 goal! 

1. The Lauras, by Sara Taylor. 

This is just a lovely book. If you're looking for a book with a diverse main character, an enigmatic, interesting, multifaceted mother, and a fun road trip based plot... this really is the one for you. I loved this book intensely and was just thinking of rereading it. 

2. The Night She Died, by Dorothy Simpson

When I first started reading this book, I felt very eye-rolly about it. I didn't think I would like it, but I was totally wrong. It's brilliant. It's just a fun mystery! I like that it seems realistic to police investigations. And of course, being set in the 1970s, it's quite fun. You can read my review on Goodreads here. 

3. If the Creek Don't Rise, by Leah Weiss

Another beautiful book. I love books set in Appalachia; I think it is both an underserved population and also an underrepresented part of the United States in literature. It has a diverse population, which we don't necessarily see in this book, but nothing is perfect, right? This book is beautiful to read. Pure and simple, it's just a beautiful book. 

4. The Fall of Lisa Bellow, by Susan Perabo 

Another gorgeous book. I've been very into crime-based novels the past few months (replacing my Scottish romance obsession in the winter) and this one is no exception. It's a book that is written in such a way that is so peculiar, but also so interesting; also, it's 100% how a 13-year-old girl would react to trauma. I do wish the ending was better, but the writing really makes up for it. 

5. No Slam Dancing, No Stage Diving, No Spikes: An Oral History of the Legendary City Gardens, by Amy Yates Wuelfing and Steven DiLodovico

This is my only read nerd moment. This book feels so esoteric because, while City Gardens is famous (TONS of bands have played there), ultimately this book is the recollection of, like, friends about being friends at a place they all went to as late teenagers in the late 1970s and early 1980s. It's in New Jersey; I know none of these people; I have never even been to New Jersey. And yet, I read this book because music culture in the late 1970s and early 1980s in New Jersey is a weird little fascination of mine. Anyway, it's a great book, if you like oral historical accounts of music (just like in Please Kill Me, that ultimate punk book). 

Book Review: A Merciful Death, by Kendra Elliot

Another day, another book review. This one is much better than the last one (Camino Beach is honestly my worst read of 2017 so far).

The book this time is A Merciful Death by Kendra Elliot. It's available via Kindle Unlimited if you want to read it on a budget! 

Here's the blurb: 

“FBI special agent Mercy Kilpatrick has been waiting her whole life for disaster to strike. A prepper since childhood, Mercy grew up living off the land—and off the grid—in rural Eagle’s Nest, Oregon. Until a shocking tragedy tore her family apart and forced her to leave home. Now a predator known as the cave man is targeting the survivalists in her hometown, murdering them in their homes, stealing huge numbers of weapons, and creating federal suspicion of a possible domestic terrorism event. But the crime scene details are eerily familiar to an unsolved mystery from Mercy’s past.

Sent by the FBI to assist local law enforcement, Mercy returns to Eagle’s Nest to face the family who shunned her while maintaining the facade of a law-abiding citizen. There, she meets police chief Truman Daly, whose uncle was the cave man’s latest victim. He sees the survivalist side of her that she desperately tries to hide, but if she lets him get close enough to learn her secret, she might not survive the fallout…”

This book easily falls into the category of being one of the better FBI/procedural books I've read. Often times, you have to suspend disbelief at every step (especially when FBI agents end up solving their own cases or things like that) and, again, FBI agents would never be assigned to a case related to their own family. 

A lot of the reason I enjoyed this book is because it's set just outside Bend, Oregon. Hey, hello, I'm an Oregonian. I live in a small town not unlike Eagle's Nest. I know tons of people like those described in the book. 

Preppers. 

I know a TON of preppers and people who describe themselves as freemen. So on that level, I was really into this book. It does a good job of walking the line between calling preppers crazy (they're not, they just have super specific beliefs and ways of living) and being realistic in terms of what prepping is really about (dedicating your life to something hazy that may never happen). 

I really liked Mercy as a character. Although, there were a few odd moments in regards to food that I'm not 100% sure about. In restaurants, Mercy only orders salads. With no cheese. Is she a vegan? Preppers (and Mercy, spoiler alert, is a secret prepper still) definitely don't fall into the category of vegan, that's for sure; it's not sustainable lifestyle energy wise in the prepping community. She doesn't get dinner the first night in the hotel and instead eats celery, almond butter, and jerky out of a backpack. Is... Mercy ok? Does she have an eating disorder? Or is this an attempt, by the author, to suggest that Mercy is a delicate little lady flower who could not POSSIBLY eat a big, manly burger? Gasp! What would the menfolks think if an FBI agent ate PROTEIN? I started to get a little annoyed by it, because the lines were so stark: Mercy gets salads and apples and celery; the men get burgers and beer and casseroles.

A lot of Mercy's storyline centers around the treatment of women in the prepping community, so WHY would Mercy still be buying the idea that there are foods men eat and foods women eat? And if that's not the case, why doesn't Mercy order a burger or even just a sandwich once and a while? Maybe she just likes salads, but I'm sorry, no one likes eating warm celery, almond butter, and JERKY in a hotel room by themselves. NOBODY. Don't lie to me. It's just a strange characterization and I cannot see where it fits in within the story, especially given Mercy's other traits of preparedness, doggedness, and focus on physical strength and health. Anyone knows that eating a salad with just salsa, tortilla chips, and olives is not a well-rounded meal; there is no protein in that meal. 

Overall, I really enjoyed the plot. For the first time in a long time, the reveal of the "bad guy" felt like an actual surprise. I didn't guess it 1/4 of the way through like usual. I can't wait for the second in the series to come out on June 6.