Meeting Goals & Making Decisions: My November 2019 Wrap Up

Happy December!

You’ll be happy to know that this month’s wrap up will be significantly less maudlin than last months. A good thing too. November was a significantly better month than October in a lot of ways. I feel like I’m overcoming a lot of mental blocks when it comes to setting and achieving goals, and moving forward in my career.

Let’s jump into this wrap up!

1. I Switched Up My Instagram Content

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 5, 2019 at 5:20pm PST

You may have noticed a lot of changes over at my Instagram; I’ve been posting more about goal setting, the mental aspect of being laid off/starting my own business (?)/being a woman in the workplace, as well as taking time for myself and self-care and self improvement. These are all things I care about and think about a lot, but haven’t ever really talked about in my social media presence before.

If those are things you’re interested in too, give me a follow over on Instagram!

2. I Started Working On Daily Goals

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 9, 2019 at 4:20pm PST

One thing I’ve been realizing more and more lately is that I need a routine in place.

When Forrest was younger, I found it much easier to be very regimented and organized about my day. I did the same things every day and it helped ease my anxiety and improve my life. But in the last 18 months, my routines have really fallen apart; I was able to keep things organized for Forrest, but I felt like I never was 100% dedicated to a routine for myself. Danny and I stopped going to the gym as Forrest’s bedtime routine got more and more challenging.

In the past month, I started working on my daily goals: day-to-day, I set little goalposts for myself to reach. A few examples are making my bed every day (which helps me to feel accomplished), getting dressed every day, and making sure to go on a daily walk. Those are just a few things that help me organize my day and start building a routine. I’ve also started blocking out my time for my to do list and making sure I actually get things done—even if I have to force myself.

A big thing I’ve realized is that the burn out I’ve been feeling for a year or more has matched up with feeling like I don’t have a good daily routine in place. I’m hoping that the more I work on it, the more I’ll feel myself falling into a natural routine. And I’m hoping that adding in a good work out routine eventually will come a lot easier.

3. I Started Addressing my Lack of Confidence

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 16, 2019 at 6:20pm PST

Anyone who has read my blog for a long time knows one thing to be true: i’m pretty upfront about my lack of confidence.

I’ve always been a shy, soft spoken person. I don’t make waves. In therapy, we’ve been working on my need for external validation for nearly everything I do; I’m often overly concerned with the opinions of other people, worrying that what they think of me is more important than how I feel about what I’m doing. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I noticed this side of me getting worse after I graduated from college; when I didn’t have the validation of school and grades, I found myself really struggling with happiness and feeling confident.

Building emotional confidence and self confidence, particularly in my abilities and my work ethic, is a huge barrier for me in terms of achieving what I want to in my career. On one hand, I firmly believe that I’m good at what I do; on the other hand, I often hold myself back, not completing tasks and not following through, because I worry that it won’t be good enough, that other people won’t like it, or whatever.

I feel like I’ve really challenged that internalized belief this month and I’m excited to see how I continue to work on this.

Those were my 3 big November takeaways. We had a lovely Thanksgiving, obviously; we were supposed to go to Idaho, but ended up not being able to make it due to the Pass being totally snowed in! That was a huge disappointment, but we all coped as we could.

How was your November?

My October 2019 Wrap Up

Sometimes, when I write these wrap up posts, I like to look at last year’s post, just to see how different it is. If I had to put a time stamp on it, I would put October last year as when I started to have a really rough time, not just with blogging, but with my own mental health. The last year has been really hard, with the last 3-4 months being particularly challenging.

I do feel sometimes like I’m writing about this a little too much. How many times can people read “I’m having a hard time right now” without thinking, aren’t you always having a hard time? And yeah, it sure does feel like that doesn’t it. But often, my “hard times” get cut by me forcing myself to do things: signing up for Barre classes, going to meetings even though I feel miserable, joining stock photo subscription services to improve my social media.

What I’m saying is: it’s hard to have on-going, longterm depression, no matter what, but there is something uniquely awful about having high functioning depression. My home never looks totally wrecked; I can’t stay in bed even if I want to (because if nothing else, I have to take care of Forrest); the things I need to do get done. People think I’m ok, but I’m not; they just think I’m a bit of whiner, or an asshole, or both.

All that to say: this year is hard for a lot of people. I didn’t expect for October to be a great month, but I thought perhaps it would be a bit better than it was. October is my favorite month, but part of me can’t wait for it to be over and gone. There were so many things I wanted badly to happen, that didn’t; plans I made that went completely awry; and goals that I just couldn’t reach. I’m making the teeniest, tiniest baby steps towards being better.

One thing that fills me with a small amount of terror about writing all that out is this: in blogging, it often seems best to present yourself as a completed project. It would be very easy for me to slip on a mask and say, I’m a freelance writer now! I’m doing great! I have all the answers! I’m hitting goals and doing well and not crying about Christmas pajamas on a Sunday morning! I don’t lie awake at night wishing that I hadn’t been laid off in July! But that’s just not true. I’m a beginner in this life and it’s not one I really planned on. I still don’t know what I’m doing somedays, as a content marketer or as a parent. I wish I could tell you the exact answers for everything, but I can’t! It’s ok to be a beginner. We don’t emerge fully formed as expert businesswomen ready to sell someone an ebook about how they, too, can be an expert businessman.

Anyway, without further ado, let’s talk about everything that happened this month.

1. Embracing body confidence.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 4, 2019 at 9:20am PDT

(Trigger warning for content!)

I didn’t know how to include this in a heading, but I’m been working on my body confidence lately. Some days are better than others. It’s so very, very easy to indulge in body positivity… for other people. I think like most people who are conscious right now I’m slightly enamored with Lizzo; I wish I could have her behind me, every moment of every day, telling me to believe in myself, that I am lovely and perfect as I am. But it’s hard to embrace my inner Lizzo (is my positive subconscious named Lizzo now!? Yes) when my inner mean ass editor is saying, “you look like a tree trunk” at the same time.

One of the hardest parts of depression for me is that I always gain just enough weight to not fit into about 65% of my wardrobe. I truly don’t care that much, but not having clothes to wear everyday is painful and embarrassing. Day to day, I feel fine in my larger body, but when I’m trying to get dressed and just slightly too large for everything I own? Good god, can my body just stop?

2. We went to a pumpkin patch.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 12, 2019 at 7:55pm PDT

Would it be an October without a trip to the pumpkin patch!? We actually made it twice, once with Danny’s parents and once for Forrest’s first field trip! On our first trip, we indulged in some apple cider donuts from Thistledown Farms in Eugene, which were so delicious. After Forrest’s field trip, he and I carved the pumpkin he picked out, ate cookies together, and talked about his favorite part of the pumpkin patch (the cow train). I’ve loved pumpkins since I was very, very small and pumpkin was one of Forrest’s first words (“pummy”), so this season always means a lot to me. It combines many of my loves.

3. I turned 31.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 20, 2019 at 9:25am PDT

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be surprised with a party on my birthday.

This is somewhat of a pipe dream. I actually hate surprises and I’m type A so I’m involved in everything in everyone else’s life. But I’ve always wanted something like a surprise party. I want to be surprised on my birthday in some way, whether it’s with breakfast or a trip or something. It goes without saying: another year has gone by and this hasn’t happened. It’s no one’s fault, as it’s not like I’m telling everyone, “please surprise me on my birthday.”

A few years ago, I remember I was chatting with someone about birthdays. Mine was coming up and she asked if I was doing anything. My birthday fell on a weekday that year, so I said, “oh no one cares about birthdays! My coworkers don’t even acknowledge it. No one gives a shit.” She looked at me like I was absolutely insane. I have since realized that this is an attitude I’ve adopted in order to protect myself; I want people to care about my birthday, but I worry that, like usual, they won’t (or that asking them to is selfish and they will think I’m awful), so I act like my birthday isn’t a really big deal, even though I want it to be a big deal.

Anyway, this is all to say: the things we do to protect ourselves from pain are odd and varied and, really, how do they come up?

My birthday was a really hard day. Forrest had trouble sleeping, due to being ill, so I was up at 3 in the morning. Once Fo went back to sleep, I just sat up crying. Danny went to the store to get breakfast and some flowers for me. (This was a very sweet gesture and I don’t want him to think I didn’t appreciate it, but, again, it’s one of those things where it’s not a surprise if I know he’s doing it!)

That same day, my niece was born, which was very exciting. We ended up going to the hospital to see her, which was a nice way to distract myself from how sad I felt otherwise. I did treat myself to some new clothes at Target as well.

4. I started thinking about 2020 goals.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 24, 2019 at 12:10pm PDT

I wrote a whole post about it, but one of my big goals for 2020 is to really improve my mental health, implement a solid routine into each day, and work on everything I’ve been working on in therapy. Admitting that I haven’t been doing well (and that being laid off really compounded some pre-existing issues, all while trying to launch my own business or find a way to make money) has been a huge step in opening up and moving past issues that I’ve had for at least 10+ years.

I know many others are thinking of 2020 goals and I just want to always remind everyone (and myself) that our goals are for us, not for other people.

5. I did a lot of cooking & baking.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 25, 2019 at 9:05am PDT

I’ve been in such a cooking mood! Not really for dinner, but just generally. (Ha, isn’t that the worst?!) Every day at 4pm, I make Forrest a pb&j and try to think of something for Danny and I. But when it comes to our lunches each day, I’ve been really pulling out all the stops: squash soup, stir fries, daily smoothies. You know, good stuff. I’ve been baking a lot too; I made my own birthday cake, cookies three times, scones, bread, biscuits.

6. I started working on my inner confidence.

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Oct 27, 2019 at 3:05pm PDT

One thing my therapist and I have talked about a lot is my lack of confidence in just about everything I do. I often hear from people that I come off as quite timid, which I don’t necessarily feel, but that probably is a reflection of the fact that I look for cues of approval from just about everyone. I talked about how I often do things only with the thought of others approval in mind. I clean my house not for me, but to make sure no one else thinks I’m messy and to impress (whoever). I apply for jobs to get the validation that I’m good at what I do (and when I don’t get them, I end up defeated and convinced I’m not good at what I do). Learning how to feel validated myself is overwhelming and complicated and hard, but it’s necessary work and I want to do it, not just for myself, but for Forrest.

I know a lot of this wrap up is very wishy-washy not concrete stuff. But I feel like October has been a rough month (I cried so much, guys), but also a month of intense self-growth. I hope you had a great October and here’s to a better November!

Life Lately: August 2019 Wrap Up

August was a rough month for me!

There, I said it. It’s been the undercurrent of everything I’ve posted, on Instagram, on my blog, on Twitter, for the past month and it’s hard to not seem like a total sad sack about everything. But I’ve felt like a total sad sack!

July was emotional: I was laid off and scrambling, feeling totally adrift.

In August, I started taking on some freelance work, but not a lot. It lacks the structure that I like to have. I’m committed to freelance work for now because it’s what I have available to me at the moment. I’m keeping an open mind, but going freelance is much easier said than done.

Anyway, let’s back up and talk about August.

1. We went to the coast!

I wrote about our trip to Rockaway Beach here. I was a bit of a mess on this trip; it was so close to being laid off and I was still dealing with a lot of anxiety and fall out from it. I wanted to have more fun than I did, but it was still enjoyable. Next time, I’m going to try not to get laid off, like, right before a trip I’ve been looking forward to for months.

2. I filled my schedule completely full for 3 weeks and nearly lost my mind!

I scheduled appointments with friends.

I got coffee with coworkers.

I visited digital marketing agencies.

I emailed everyone I’ve ever worked with to grab coffee.

I went to interviews.

I worked at coffee shops.

I spent time outside the house.

And honestly, it nearly killed me. Last week, I had three appointments nearly every single day of the week. It was great for my business (so much freelance work!), but it was not-so-great for my mental health. In the future, I’m going to keep specific days open for appointments and keep everything in those days if I can help it. Easier said than done, but last week was a lesson in “too much.”

3. I bought a new computer.

So about that working in coffee shops bit… I have an iMac, which I love, but when I went to work in coffee shops, my ancient (circa 2010!!) Macbook was not cutting it. I tried updating it to the newest OS, but I cannot remember my admin password. Oops! So I decided to scrape together some money and buy a new computer because it felt like an investment that was worth it. It’s been really nice being able to actually work now when I’m at coffee shops and I’ve gotten a lot done.

4. I wrote a lot.

When I wasn’t sending messages on LinkedIn or answering phone calls, I decided to write. I worked on my NaNoWriMo outline; I started several short stories; I’ve started writing poetry again. I hate not having anything to do and without work, I tend to be a bit listless. However, writing felt good. It felt good to just write again, even if it’s “purposeless.” Writing just for fun was a high point, honestly.

Things I’m Looking Forward to in September

I’m looking forward to the start of Fall. I know everyone who knows me is tired already, but yes, I am ready. Yes, I have a pumpkin outside my house already. And a scarecrow. No, I won’t stop being Like This.

I’m also looking forward to more days at home, working. Forrest is going back to school and Danny is going back to work, so I’ll fall into my routine a little bit and be able to actually get work done. A win win for everyone involved, honestly.

I’m looking forward to saving some money! Danny and I really have our hearts set on a big vacation in the next year. We were on our way to saving for it when I got laid off and ended up using a lot of our savings on bills and moving expenses. Major downer, but I’m hoping that with some good freelance work in the next few months, we’ll be back to our usual savings.

How was your August? Tell me about it!

Monthly Wrap Up: February 2019

If you’ve read my blog for any stretch of time, you know two things about me: I love Fall the most and February is always the worst month. I’m not going to say that how much February sucks is because of astrology… except I am. Mercury Retrograde almost always hits at some point in February, plus it is Pisces season.

This February was no exception to the rule: I got a lot done, but a lot of stuff went absolutely bonkers. Totally haywire. It’s so hard for me to even summarize February because… where do I begin?! I guess I should start with the Snow.

1. The Big Snow

It started snowing on February 24 at about noon. It did not stop for over 24 hours. By the end, we had about 14-16 inches at our house; at my parents’ house just a mile down the road from me (but slightly higher elevation), they had closer to 18-20 inches. In some drifts, there were nearly 2 feet of snow! The roads were a mess. And what was worse: the weight of the snow itself caused trees to fall, branches to snap, and power lines to be severed.

Our power went out around midnight between Sunday and Monday. Monday morning, I woke up with Forrest (he’d gotten into our bed because he couldn’t sleep alone in the dark) and went downstairs, got a fire going in our wood stove, and then opened the door to listen. It was only then that I realized how bad things were; it was still snowing and everything was extremely quiet… but I could hear breaking and crashing sounds in the woods all around us. And worse, the power line that goes over our yard kept shaking violently, including the power pole. I was suddenly not just annoyed that I didn’t have power, but pretty scared.

Once it got light out, I walked down our driveway to see what it looked like. We had about 4-5 trees down across our driveway and the snow was deep. There was no way we could get out. Throughout the rest of the morning, branches fell off the huge cedar tree right next to our house, crashing into our backyard, fence, and porch. Thankfully, nothing big hit our house—but it was scary.

My parents managed to clear their driveway, but it was nearly dark by then. They finally came over Tuesday to clear our driveway and we went to their house for a little while, as they have a generator. The next few days were basically the same pattern: we’d go to their house every day. The roads were bad. Here’s what they looked like in my area. That’s just one section; there were so many places where the road was reduced to nothing because trees had fallen inward on both sides, taking down power lines.

After 4 days, my parents got their power restored, but we didn’t. The line from our power pole to our neighbors house was still disconnected, which meant there was something wrong with the transformer on our pole. We waited and waited. It felt like an eternity! We went to my parents’ house every day to get some work done, shower, and charge our devices.

On the plus side, I got way more sleep that week than any other time in my life! I read a lot, did a lot of embroidery, and learned that I definitely need to be better prepared for emergencies. I have a blog post about emergency preparedness that I’m working on, so stay tuned for that.

Thankfully, our power was restored on March 3, but our internet satellite dish had been damaged. Having power was so nice though; I did so much laundry, cleaned everything, ran the dishwasher 3 times, and vacuumed up all the debris around our wood stove. It’s been a wild ride, but I am very done with snow and February.

2. Books I Read

Gosh, having no power makes you really get into reading. Here is every book I read during the outage:

• I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp, by Richard Hell

• Find Her, by Lisa Gardner

• Cutting Season, by Attica Locke

• Verity, by Colleen Hoover

• Carnegie’s Maid, by Marie Benedict

• The Hazel Wood, by Melissa Albert

Whew!

3. What Else?

For the sake of space, here’s a few little things that happened in February:

• My work is moving offices. However, unfortunately, our new office was not ready before the end of our lease… so we are all working from home for the entire month of March and last week in February. As you can tell, that meant my work week was an absolutely wash because of the snow—and I wasn’t alone. Going back to work was honestly the most exciting thing in the world, but I didn’t didn’t have internet until last Friday!

• We got our taxes done and despite paying in extra this past year… we still owed to Oregon and got a very small return from Federal. We’re trying to crack the code here and figure out how much we need to overpay to make even!

• We planned our coast trip for this summer and fantasized multiple times about running away to Disneyland. (Once I could get my car out of my driveway, it was definitely hard to not just start driving to somewhere, anywhere else.)

• I started learning embroidery. It’s been really fun and I’ve been loving the process! You can follow me on Instagram to see some of my projects.

Well, that’s about it for February. I’m excited for March; I’m really ready to be in Spring (even though it’s not my favorite time of the year), but I want to be far from the possibility of snow right now!

Monthly Wrap Up: January 2019

Another month gone by, another wrap up post, another “can you believe how long/busy/exhausting this month was?” question. Sometimes, it is hard to sum up adult life in things other than cliches. What else can I say for myself other than, “I was very busy in January, and it was a very long month, and I’m desperately trying to be the best version of myself”?

Yeah, I guess that’s pretty good.

January always feels like a very long month. The joy of the holidays is officially over—and it’s not coming back. Everyone is a little burnt out. We all are trying to make up for all that time we took off for holiday traveling, or just revelry, and we might have some interesting credit cards bills from gift giving (or drinks out with coworkers or friends). It’s a lot of “adulting,” to use a word I hate. Plus, the sun is officially behind the clouds 90% of the time, like 75% of the country is current behind an actual ice wall (we’re just gonna call the Midwest the North know and they are all white walkers). We’re all vitamin D deficient and doing our best.

So, January is hard. But actually, January was kind of fun this year. Let’s get into the post and I’ll stop writing quips that I think are funny.

Monthly Empties

I’ve been trying to use up my shockingly large mask collection. I have so many, guys. This month, I finished up the Body Shop Tea Tree Clay Mask (which I reviewed here), the Jejuien You Can’t Handle This Sheet volcanic ash sheet mask, and the YesTo Cucumbers Calming Mud Mask (from one of the clearance gift sets I bought at Target after Christmas).

Not a lot of empties this month and here’s why: I feel like I’ve barely worn make up or done anything to my face. I’ve been in kind of a rut, probably partly caused by SAD and needing some sun exposure, regarding my skincare and makeup. It’s just been… not as high of a priority for me, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. I really love taking care of my appearance and when I stop having the patience for it, I know I’m either 1) burnt out or 2) depressed. So, that’s been something I’m working on. However, I did rediscover my Wet’n’Wild Cushion Foundation again this month, so here’s to two months of cushion empties. Cheers!

Best Moments

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When I am among the trees, especially the willows and the honey locust, equally the beech, the oaks and the pines, they give off such hints of gladness. I would almost say that they save me, and daily. ("When I Am Among the Trees", by Mary Oliver) • • •⠀ •⠀ #momlife #childhoodunplugged #letthembelittle #candidchildhood #momswithcameras #motherhoodthroughinstagram #uniteinmotherhood #boymom #sahm #momsofinstagram #momblogger #ontheblog #motherhoodrising #mompreneur ⠀ #pursuepretty #creativepreneur #momblogger #acolorstory #livethelittlethings #theeverygirl #darlingmovement #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #petitejoys #thebloggershub

A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Jan 20, 2019 at 7:08am PST

January was full of lots of good moments, really. But here are a few:

• Forrest going back to school

• Having good enough weather to play outside at least once

• Making plans for our summer vacation and spring break

• Getting back into bullet journaling

• Sharing photos of myself for the first time in 3-4 years

• Mary Oliver’s passing bringing out the poetry lover in everyone

• Watching “Sex Education” with Danny

• Going to my work’s Christmas party for the first time… ever

I have been trying to keep track of my “good” versus “bad” days in my bullet journal. And something about writing it down, and keeping track of it, helps me to think more about whether I really had a bad day—or whether things were just difficult. It’s really helped me to see more “fun” moments.

What I Learned

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Jan 14, 2019 at 7:02pm PST

This is related to recording my bad days, but again: I feel like the biggest lesson I learned in January was that I get to choose how I feel about each day. Having a rough day with Forrest doesn’t mean the day was bad; there were still hugs and kisses and funny moments in between the meltdowns! Keeping track of that, and journaling every day, has been a huge help in contextualizing everything.

And doing that has also made me realize all the ways I need to improve as a parent. I think sometimes I focus too much on just surviving and getting through each day—and I end up spending most of my time on my phone, or watching TV, while Fo plays. That’s not super active. I could be working, or cleaning, or taking him to the library, but being exhausted makes me choose the easiest option. One of my big goals for February is to just plain be more active: spend more time moving, playing with Forrest, and not just sitting on the couch on Instagram or Twitter.

My Monthly Wrap Up: December 2018

December was quite the month, wasn’t it? It always is (what with Christmas and everything), but this year felt particularly… full.

Let’s see: Danny and I went to Idaho for Thanksgiving, so we got back home just in time to get ready for Christmas. I had a load of sponsored content in December, all with deadlines. Plus, I had work. Forrest got sick. Then I got sick for what felt like 2 entire weeks. My brother got married (and as his accidental wedding planner, I felt like I was the bride a bit with how much work I ended up doing at the wedding). Then we had my mom’s birthday. Then Christmas. Then the New Year.

Now, Forrest is sick again, I’ve got a sore throat, and I feel like I’m rushing 24/7 to get caught up on how frenzied everything was in December. I didn’t have much time to write blog content, or social content, or actually do any kind of work whatsoever, between sickness, family events, and more.

It’s nice to think of January as a time to just relax, but I feel like I’ve jumped right back into being super, super busy.

And it should be said: I loved every minute of December. I love being busy! I love having lots of things to do and not being able to sit still. When I get bored, I get anxious. So December was a lovely month, but I would like to have time to actually blog this month!

Let’s get into this wrap up, shall we?

My Empties

I feel like I used up a lot of products this month, despite really falling off the bandwagon with my skincare. (That’s probably why addressing my routine is one of my New Year’s Resolutions.) Here’s everything I used up:

• Lump of Coal Charcoal Face Mask from Bath & Body Works

• Egg Essence Mask Sheet

• Sephora Instant Nail Polish Remover Pad

• Sephora Express Eye Make Up Removed Pad

• Tarte Shape Tape Deluxe Sample

• Clean & Clear Deep Action Cream Cleanser

• Sephora Charcoal Nose Strip

• Sephora Bath Fizzes

• Sephora Overnight Mask in Pearl

A lot of these were things from my Sephora Advent Calendar that I was trying to use up! I also received the Bath & Body Works mask from my mother-in-law in my Christmas present. Everything else was just a matter of using up: the Sephora Overnight Mask was leftover from a while ago and I was tired of seeing it on my bathroom counter; the Clean & Clear Cleanser was a sample I needed to get rid of (and I love how it feels even though I know it is garbage); and the Shape Tape was from my October Ipsy bag.

I feel like it was a good month for using things up, clearing out my drawers, and making room for, of course, more stuff.

My December Highlights

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Dec 7, 2018 at 9:20pm PST

Posting More Photos of Myself

It goes without saying that i’m never 100% happy with my appearance. (And if you’ve followed my blog for a while, you know this is a journey that I have been on for a while.) Being a mom is hard, but the hardest part about it is feeling this pressure to not fall into a specific stereotype of a mom. Even though I know it is garbage and I know I shouldn’t do things to suit what others think of me (we can never control anyone’s perception of ourselves, right?), and I know that I am kinder to others than I am to myself, it is still a huge challenge for me. So, my goal has been in the last few months to post more photos of myself and to taking the stupid photo for the content that I’m working on. I tend to want to stick to product shots—do I matter? I ask—but I know it hurts my blog to not have very much of my own face on here.

So, if you noticed more photos of my on my Instagram this past month, it’s true. There are more! And I have even more that I plan to post! So fancy.

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Dec 12, 2018 at 8:04pm PST

Getting Professional Photos of Forrest

I’m a little embarrassed that, despite my status as a mom who is pretty obsessed with my own child, I’ve never gotten professional photos taken of him. I wanted to when he was a newborn, but he was so small, so fragile, I felt like it was a bit of a “playing with fire” thing. By the time he was big enough and sturdy enough, we were paying hospital bills and having enough disposal income for a photo shoot wasn’t a luxury.

So, in November, I paid for actual, real professional photos of him and, gosh, they turned out amazing. I’ve gifted them, made Christmas cards with them, and basically just stare at them constantly. We had our photos done by Angelique (AH Newborns) and she did such an amazing job. I cannot recommend her enough!

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Dec 11, 2018 at 6:58pm PST

Working with Formulate

I’ve had the distinct pleasure of being able to work with Formulate this month. I wouldn’t normally include this in a wrap up, but I’ve had so much fun taking photos, writing content, and testing out my personalized shampoo. Most importantly, I’m so excited to be able to host a giveaway with them. I love being able to provide something to my readers; without you guys, this blog wouldn’t really be anything! And you’re the ones who enable me to be able to work with cool companies like Formulate. If you would like to enter my giveaway, just click here. I’ll have a blog post about my experience in the next few weeks.

Monthly Wrap Up: November 2018

November felt like… such a big month.

November 1, for me, is the start of the Christmas season. Now, I know some people find that frustrating. (And trust me, I totally see your point of view. I just think you are wrong.) For me, Christmas makes me happy; Christmas decorating makes me happy; having a clean, Christmas-y house makes me happy… why should I put that off so I can only enjoy it for a week or two? No, I need two solid months!

So yes, November 1, I got out my fake tree, hung up our stockings, and began annoying my husband with Christmas music.

November wasn’t just a Christmas month, it was a busy month. And it’s sad to say, I feel like I had a migraine for a good 45% of November. I’ve been struggling with migraines off and on for the past year; some months are better than others. November happened to be a not-so-great month in terms of my migraines. However, it was still a really fun month. Let’s look at some highlights!

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Dec 1, 2018 at 9:46am PST

Towards the end of the month, I partnered with VisionWorks to promote an event at my local mall. I’ve never done any work like this for my blog before, but I really enjoyed taking on a new challenge.

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Nov 9, 2018 at 9:31pm PST

Danny and I bought our first couch!! I know this seems like a strange thing to be so excited about—but we’ve needed a new couch for a while and I’m notoriously trigger shy when it comes to spending more than $25 on anything, let alone a massive piece of furniture. Our house consists of mostly hand-me-down furniture, as well as bargain furniture from Ikea and Wal-Mart. Everything we have is quite nice, but I’m also always aware that none of it really matches! Getting a couch that really matches our aesthetic was a huge step towards finally having the house we want.

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Dec 1, 2018 at 8:07pm PST

I’m almost all done with my Christmas shopping!! I just have a few things left to get. I’ve written before about how Danny and I are both the worst at waiting until Christmas to open our presents. Well, now that Forrest is old enough to understand what’s going on, it’s become a lot harder for us to participate in our favorite tradition of opening presents inappropriately early. It is a little bit more fun though!

This is a shorter monthly wrap up than usual, but November was a busy-but-quiet month for us! Mostly just Christmas decorating, traveling, and getting ready for an even bigger month in December. Hope you’re all having a lovely first few days of December!

Monthly Wrap Up & Empties: September 2018

Originally, I planned to do an Inspiration Sunday post for Blogtober today. But then I realized I had September empties to discuss and it felt more important to do this post. Well, maybe important isn’t the right word… rather, it just seemed to fit better!

September was a big month for us: we were super busy with back to school, Forrest’s birthday, and lots of stuff. And that trend isn’t letting up in October. I have Blogtober, of course, and my birthday on the 20th. Forrest and I are on a mommy-son trip this weekend (I’m writing this in advance, don’t worry!). Next weekend, we have Danny’s parents visiting. Then the last weekend of October will be our Halloween weekend. Then suddenly it will be November. Whew!

I have a lot to talk about for this wrap up, so let’s get started!

Empties: Everything I Used Up

1. OGX Coconut Miracle Oil Shampoo: I reviewed this shampoo here. I love this shampoo and it’s my current favorite. Of all the shampoos I’ve used, it’s the only one that really soothes my scalp and leaves my hair feeling nice. At this point, that’s all I ask!

2. Love Beauty & Planet Murumuru Butter & Rose Magic Masque: I used this mask to help repair my hair after a disastrous PR shampoo I received. (I’m not even reviewing it, it’s that bad!) But I loved this mask! It smells lightly of roses and was so thick and lovely. It immediately helped my damaged, dry hair. You can buy it here.

3. Bliss Drench & Quench Moisturizer: I reviewed this moisturizer here. It’s not my favorite moisturizer ever, but it wasn’t awful. It was mostly just very expensive! This little tub lasted about 6 weeks and cost $20. It’s not a repurchase, that’s for sure.

4. Rosehips Oil: I recently added rosehips oil to my routine to help my dehydrated skin. As you probably know, I sing the praises of jojoba oil for removing makeup and helping improve my skin. However, jojoba as a moisturizer can give me a lot of texture. So I added rosehips oil as a sealant after my moisturizer to help my skin absorb a bit more. It has helped a lot, but I don’t love this one; I suspect the orange oil it’s mixed with hasn’t been helping my skin much!

5. Coty Flawless Complexion Tinted SPF Moisturizer: I discussed this SPF moisturizer in my Ipsy bag review here. I love this SPF, which sucks because it was such a teeny tiny tube! But it is absolutely lovely, hasn’t made me break out, and wears great under make up.

What I’ve Been Up To

Yes, that is the very rarely featured Remus. If you didn’t know (and most probably don’t), I have a beloved chocolate lab named Remus (as in Remus Lupin, the greatest werewolf). Despite playing second fiddle to Forrest, Remus remains my biggest baby. I don’t have any reason for this photo other than I took it while I was doing product photos for my Ipsy bag in September, Remus looked cute, and I can’t resist his big, golden eyes.

Anyway, I thought I’d share a few things I enjoyed from September here for your enjoyment!

1. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger: I impulsively borrowed this book from the library because the jacket contained the words “Highgate Cemetery” and “Victorian.” For whatever reason, when I started it, I thought it would be set in Victorian times. It is absolutely not; it’s set in the early 2000s, which leads to some truly hilarious ensembles worn by the main characters (remember white denim skirts!?). That being said, I still really enjoyed it. Highly recommend! How’s that for a tiny review?

2. Dr. Death: I started listening to this podcast after it was recommended on My Favorite Murder. This was a tough podcast for me to get into, because as I’ve written before, my grandfather was paralyzed by a neck surgery. The center of this podcast is a neurosurgeon who performs bad, irresponsible, and devastating neck and spinal surgeries; he paralyzes multiple people and kills a few. That being said, I really enjoyed it.

3. Summer Wives by Beatriz Williams: I have been waiting for this book on digital hold from the library for weeks and finally, I got it! I was so excited to read it. It’s set on a fictional island off the coast of New York where wealthy families summer for years on end. It was so good and kept me captivated the entire time.

4. Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson: Another book I had waited for weeks on hold! I keep doing this thing where I put holds on books, they take ages, and by the time I get them, I’m not “in the mood” to read them. I had to force myself to read Truly Devious about 4 days before it was due and I am SO glad I did! It was excellent and I found myself so disappointed that the sequel isn’t out yet. If you like mysteries and murder podcasts (which play a surprisingly pivotal role!), you’ll love this book.

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A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Sep 11, 2018 at 8:12pm PDT

Oh yes, Fall is finally here! Gosh, it feels like time goes by so fast! I hope you’re having a great October and you’ve been loving all the cozy Blogtober content around lately.