Meeting Goals & Making Decisions: My November 2019 Wrap Up

Happy December!

You’ll be happy to know that this month’s wrap up will be significantly less maudlin than last months. A good thing too. November was a significantly better month than October in a lot of ways. I feel like I’m overcoming a lot of mental blocks when it comes to setting and achieving goals, and moving forward in my career.

Let’s jump into this wrap up!

1. I Switched Up My Instagram Content

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 5, 2019 at 5:20pm PST

You may have noticed a lot of changes over at my Instagram; I’ve been posting more about goal setting, the mental aspect of being laid off/starting my own business (?)/being a woman in the workplace, as well as taking time for myself and self-care and self improvement. These are all things I care about and think about a lot, but haven’t ever really talked about in my social media presence before.

If those are things you’re interested in too, give me a follow over on Instagram!

2. I Started Working On Daily Goals

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 9, 2019 at 4:20pm PST

One thing I’ve been realizing more and more lately is that I need a routine in place.

When Forrest was younger, I found it much easier to be very regimented and organized about my day. I did the same things every day and it helped ease my anxiety and improve my life. But in the last 18 months, my routines have really fallen apart; I was able to keep things organized for Forrest, but I felt like I never was 100% dedicated to a routine for myself. Danny and I stopped going to the gym as Forrest’s bedtime routine got more and more challenging.

In the past month, I started working on my daily goals: day-to-day, I set little goalposts for myself to reach. A few examples are making my bed every day (which helps me to feel accomplished), getting dressed every day, and making sure to go on a daily walk. Those are just a few things that help me organize my day and start building a routine. I’ve also started blocking out my time for my to do list and making sure I actually get things done—even if I have to force myself.

A big thing I’ve realized is that the burn out I’ve been feeling for a year or more has matched up with feeling like I don’t have a good daily routine in place. I’m hoping that the more I work on it, the more I’ll feel myself falling into a natural routine. And I’m hoping that adding in a good work out routine eventually will come a lot easier.

3. I Started Addressing my Lack of Confidence

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A post shared by Michelle | Blogger & Marketer (@michellelocke6) on Nov 16, 2019 at 6:20pm PST

Anyone who has read my blog for a long time knows one thing to be true: i’m pretty upfront about my lack of confidence.

I’ve always been a shy, soft spoken person. I don’t make waves. In therapy, we’ve been working on my need for external validation for nearly everything I do; I’m often overly concerned with the opinions of other people, worrying that what they think of me is more important than how I feel about what I’m doing. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I noticed this side of me getting worse after I graduated from college; when I didn’t have the validation of school and grades, I found myself really struggling with happiness and feeling confident.

Building emotional confidence and self confidence, particularly in my abilities and my work ethic, is a huge barrier for me in terms of achieving what I want to in my career. On one hand, I firmly believe that I’m good at what I do; on the other hand, I often hold myself back, not completing tasks and not following through, because I worry that it won’t be good enough, that other people won’t like it, or whatever.

I feel like I’ve really challenged that internalized belief this month and I’m excited to see how I continue to work on this.

Those were my 3 big November takeaways. We had a lovely Thanksgiving, obviously; we were supposed to go to Idaho, but ended up not being able to make it due to the Pass being totally snowed in! That was a huge disappointment, but we all coped as we could.

How was your November?

How a Shanti Bowl Can Help with Meditation

You might be wondering: Michelle, what is a Shanti bowl?

Well, let’s start at the beginning.

Ever since July when I got laid off, I’ve been struggling a lot with anger. Sometimes, I will get so angry, I just want to scream at somebody. I’ve never really had a temper before and while I think I can be a bit of a whiner (I just took a DNA test, I have a Taurus rising, yo I got whining problems, it’s the Taurus in me), I never would have called myself angry. I don’t like arguing or fighting; I’ve never raised my voice at someone in my life unless it was to stop them from stepping out into the street or something.

But after being laid off, I was angry. I was mad at everyone and damn if they didn’t know it.

My therapist recommended a lot of techniques to help me get this under control. I don’t like being angry; I don’t like feeling like I can’t control an emotion. I especially didn’t like that my anger was irrational and illogical; big things would leave me feeling blank (like finding out I would probably never receive payment for my 265 hours of PTO) and little things would send me careening over the edge (like finding a bug on the wall). I started doing breathing exercises and journaling and slowly, my anger started to get better.

But it was still there, like a tagalong friend that I didn’t want around.

So when Shanti Bowl reached out to me recently, I was excited. Shanti Bowl is a company that makes Tibetan singing bowls. It’s also a company owned by the same person who owns Prana Brush, which I reviewed here. I love being able to support small businesses, especially when I’ve had great results in the past. I’ve been using my Prana dry brush religiously since I received it, so of course I wanted to try a singing bowl!

Funny enough, Danny was perhaps a little bit more excited about the singing bowl than I was: he has used it in his classroom before to help his students practice mindfulness. It was him who taught me how to use it and who primarily plays it for me in the evening.

Here’s a full description of a singing bowl in case you’re still confused:

“According to ancient Tibetan teachings, the existence of singing bowls dates back to the time of Buddha. Singing bowls produce beautiful music which invokes deep meditative and peaceful states. Singing bowls are often used in yoga, reiki, music therapy, and sound healing. The rich harmonies produced by singing bowls help balance the body’s chakras, eliminate stress, and promote holistic healing.”

Basically: it makes a nice noise that helps in meditation, can help relieve stress, and help you feel better.

Sold.

One of the techniques my therapist recommended for both anger and anxiety was to take a big breath in and imagine a pitcher filling with water; then when you exhale, imagine pouring the pitcher out. Over and over, this is very soothing: imagining the feel, the sound of the water, everything. I have found that the singing bowl works especially well when I’m doing this exercise; the sound helps me focus on what I’m doing (breathing, imagining) and nothing else.

In the evening, Danny will often play it while I lie in bed or on the couch and we just have a nice, quiet time together. It sounds boring, but for two people with a young child, who both work jobs that are stressful in different ways… it helps so much.

The best part about this singing bowl from Shanti is that it’s gorgeous! I keep it on a shelf in my living room and I have gotten so many questions about it from people when they visit or watch my Instagram stories. Here’s another quote from Shanti Bowl:

“Our handmade singing bowls are unparalleled in beauty and quality. Each bowl is carefully hand-crafted by skilled Tibetan artisans using traditional techniques. In accordance with an ancient Tibetan formula, our singing bowls are made of “panchaloga”, which is a Sanskrit word meaning a five-metal alloy that includes copper, zinc, iron, and traces of gold and silver. Our bowls create an incredible sound with rich, warm and vibrant overtones. Each bowl also comes with a gorgeous hand-carved wooden mallet. The result is a beautiful piece of functional art with incredible healing properties.”

Whether you are more interested in how pretty they are or how they can help you meditate (or you just want to make fun music), a Tibetan singing bowl would make a great, unique Christmas gift for someone in your life (or yourself, let’s be honest).

If you’re struggling with anxiety, anger, or depression, they can help so much with meditation and focusing in on your breathing, how you feel, and releasing the negative feelings you’re holding onto. I highly recommend it!

To learn more about Shanti Tibetan singing bowls, click here. You can also learn how to play a singing bowl (super helpful as a novice!).

Beauty Review: It Cosmetics Confidence in a Cleanser

Winter is a rough time for our skin. In the past week here in Oregon, the weather has gone from normal October weather to bitterly cold; I woke up this morning to the temperature being 22 degrees. 22 DEGREES! Fahrenheit! That’s low. My skin, of course, did not get the notice of the weather and therefore, was not fully prepared. I have thus been left with dry patches on my cheeks (typical), as well as my elbows, knees, ankles, and anywhere else that really feels like rebelling.

In short: I’m quite the sight right now, but I’m working on it.

One thing that has been helping a lot is the It Cosmetics Confidence in a Cleanser, which I’ve been using for about a month. I first got it in my Ipsy Bag as an add on sample, then decided for my birthday to buy a full size bottle. The sample size lasted me quite a while and the full size is 5 fluid ounces, which will probably last me quite a while. (This is all to say: when I talk about the price, I definitely feel like it’s worth it for the amount.)

Here’s what Confidence in a Cleanser promises:

“Developed with plastic surgeons, Confidence in a Cleanser™ is your skin-loving cleanser and serum in one game-changing product! This breakthrough one-step skincare solution gently cleanses and moisturizes while leaving your skin feeling soft, refreshed and perfectly balanced. Ideal for all skin types and ophthalmologist-tested for your sensitive eye area, this sulfate-free and soap-free facial cleanser instantly removes all traces of makeup—even waterproof eye makeup—and improves your skin’s vitality.”

Basically: if you have dry skin, oily skin, acne prone skin, or aging skin (or the very fun combination of all of the above) this is a great cleanser for you.

I have to agree. The thing I like most about this cleanser is how thoroughly it cleans my skin without feeling like I’ve just sucked all the oil off and out of it. It leaves my skin softer and smoother without being super harsh.

One thing to note: it does have fragrance, which I know is a turn off for some people when it comes to their skincare. It smells like citrus fruit to me, which I quite like. My skin isn’t sensitive to fragrance (although perfume does give me headaches), so I don’t mind.

I usually use this after I use Micellar water or jojoba oil to remove most of my makeup. As I’ve written before, this two-step process is often the best for me to get my skin actually clean.

I love how this cleanser makes my skin feel. It’s more moisturizing, which in the winter and fall can be a huge issue for lots of people. Combined with a good chemical exfoliator and a good moisturizer + sealant combo, it’s pretty much the dream cleanser.

In terms of price, a 5 fluid ounce tube (the size I’m holding) costs $29. The sample size (less than 1 fluid ounce) lasted me about 2 weeks, so I suspect this will last me 6-8 weeks, maybe up to 3 months. That’s pretty good! If you are diligent about your skincare, you end up using a lot of cleanser, so for this product, I feel like that’s not a bad price, especially as it comes from a prestige brand.

Have you tried a new product lately? Or have you wanted to try something, but haven’t? Let me know in the comments. What’s working for you lately?

5 NaNoWriMo Essentials to Survive November

I love a good list, as you all probably are aware by now. On Wednesday, I hit publish on my NaNoWriMo guide which I’m so excited about. (If you haven’t already, you can download a copy here. It has a few basic worksheets to help you get ready for NaNoWriMo!)

Today, I want to switch gears, but keep it on NaNoWriMo: let’s talk what you need when November comes around. I’m talking the tools I use, the programs that help me function, my favorite coffee cups… you name it, it’s probably an essential. (Ok, I won’t include “my favorite coffee cup”, but you get the drift!)

One thing I want to talk about first though is why NaNoWriMo is so important to me—and why I think you’ll love it too. Whether you’re a young professional or a new mom (or a mom who has been momming for a while now), it’s easy to take on too much and get burnt out. So isn’t NaNoWriMo in that same universe?

I suppose for some, it might. But I know so many women my age, or just a bit younger or a bit older, are looking for something to pour their energy into. They are frustrated at work for whatever reason (even if they love it!) and/or they feel like everything revolves around their kids. It’s nice to do something that is just for you. As well, so many women who read this blog (yes, you!) are creative, inspiring, and have stories to tell. I’ve spoken with so many of you; I’ve seen your Instagram posts and your jokes on Twitter; you are as good a writer as any published author, I promise you. So if you’ve always wanted to write, but are intimidated by the big writing community (I have a lot to say there), NaNoWriMo is a great way to get some words on the paper and find a community where you are nurtured without anyone making you feel less than.

Now, without further ado: let’s talk essentials.

1. Google Docs

I know some people don’t like putting intellectual property on Google, but… there really is no better way to write online than Google Docs. With Google Drive, you can write on your laptop, your work computer (shhhh!), your phone, your tablet, whatever. You don’t have to always be in the same spot with one singular device. I also personally love the Google Doc tools: simple word counts, good grammar and spelling checks as you type (still in Beta, but honestly, very good), and a basic interface.

The only downside is that you require an internet connection to use Google Docs (unless you turn on offline editing, which is kind of a pain to use)—and an internet connection, as we all know, has a high potential to be abused.

Some people love Scrivener or Novlr to write online. However, I’m not in the habit of buy subscriptions to products that literally already exist for free. (No shade.)

2. A Good Playlist

Writing requires background noise. Just enough background noise so you don’t get bored, but not too much background noise that you get distracted by it.

I have a few playlists on Spotify that I swear by. Everyone’s preferences for background music vary, but my one big piece of advice is that if you’re at home writing, don’t use headphones. Play music on your computer, your phone, or via a Bluetooth speaker. If I use headphones while I’m writing, I’m categorically not going to pay attention, plain and simple.

Another good option is to pick a few movies that are just boring enough to listen to in the background. My go to movies at the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit trilogy. I’ve seen them enough that I’m not distracted, but they are pleasant enough to hear in the background. Plus, if I need a moment, I can step away and basically go into the movie without feeling like I’ve lost anything.

3. A Supportive Team

If you’re planning to do NaNoWriMo, one of the best things you can do is find a few friends who are also doing NaNoWriMo so you can support each other. There is nothing like being up early or up late writing and having someone to text, to bounce ideas off of, or to simply commiserate with.

4. A Few Good Distractions

“But Michelle, November is only about writing!”

Oof, yes. But if you spend all your time writing and thinking about your story, you’re going to get so burnt out.

So:

• Download that show you want to watch

• Buy the movie you have been looking forward to

• Make plans with friends

• Take out a few books from the library

• Write down a few good recipes to try

Whatever floats your boat, make sure to indulge in other fun activities during November so you don’t suck all the joy out of writing. This is really essential.

5. A Place for Notes

Aren’t you glad I didn’t put something hokey like “lots of coffee hyuck”? The writers and coffee trope exhausts me to a certain extent (and I do love coffee).

But also, so does the “get a notebook!” trope too.

When I say a place for notes, it can be whatever you want: treat yourself to a new notebook. Or start a word document just for NaNoWriMo notes. Or use the notebook your carry around either way. Often when I’m writing I will think of something I want to include in a future scene. During NaNoWriMo, I try to stick to my outline and not write scenes out of order; it’s just easier for me. So, I will often take notes on anything I think of as I’m writing—such as a line of dialogue I want to come up again in the future. Sometimes I use in-app notes for this (like comments in Google Docs), but usually I just jot it down in my planner or notebook.

How to Prep for NaNoWriMo When You Work (+ Free Printable)

For those who are new to NaNoWriMo, it can feel huge. Almost impossible.

50,000 words!? In a month?!

Even if you love writing, even if you’ve dreamed of writing a book (you know, you have 400 notebooks full of ideas, or the notes app on your phone with random mishmashed ideas written down), 50,000 words can feel like a lot if you’ve never actually finished a plot.

But I promise you: it’s actually not that huge.

In fact… it’s not even the length of the average novel.

Sorry! I know!

The truth is, 50,000 is usually a starting point for a novel. And it’s a good starting point! If you just want to get words onto paper, 50,000 is nothing to sneeze at.

And NaNoWriMo is honestly the most motivating way to do it.

I do NaNoWriMo every year and have since 2010. Is this my 9th NaNoWriMo? Yes! Am I as excited as I was in 2010? Also yes! I have won some years and not others, but I’m so proud of the years I completed.

As I wrote last year, I don’t write creatively with the focus on publishing. I usually write stories that I can’t stop thinking about, that I want to read. These novels are for me and me only. Maybe in the future, I’ll sit down and cobble them all into something big and maybe with the intention of publishing. But for now, I just love putting words onto paper and getting 50,000 of them out in the semblance of a story.

If this is your first year doing NaNoWriMo, I have some advice to help you. If you work full time, planning and writing can seem like a big, huge task. I’ve broken it down here for you.

Before we jump into my tips though, I wanted to make sure to share my previous NaNoWriMo blog posts!

• How I Plan to Win NaNoWriMo

• Writing With a Toddler

• 4 Things to Do to Prepare for NaNoWriMo

• Preparing for NaNoWriMo in 3 Easy Steps

Now, without further ado, let’s talking: working, planning, & winning NaNoWriMo.

1. Schedule your time.

I’m a big fan of scheduling my time. Since I’ve gone freelance, I usually dedicate my mornings to freelance & client work. Then, in the afternoon, I work on my blog or any creative writing I’ve been planning. I usually mark this out in my Google Calendar, then in my daily planner, along with my to do list.

During NaNoWriMo, I will often add NaNoWriMo specific time periods. For example, if I plan to drop my son off at school in the morning, I’ll plan to go to the library and write for an hour before heading home to work. This gets me out of the house; encourages me to dedicate at least an hour to NaNoWriMo; and allows me to look forward to it, especially if I’ve been thinking of the story.

Think of the time you have during the day. Could you take your lunch break at a coffee shop and write while you eat? Could you spare an hour right after work to write? Do you write best in the morning or the evenings? Think of your typical day and schedule your time accordingly.

2. Write an outline, of course.

I’m a big fan of outlining. I know some people prefer a “pants” (that is “flying by the seat of your pants”) approach to NaNoWriMo, but I think most pantsers are the ones nervous about finishing or failing. (Although I would argue not finishing NaNoWriMo isn’t “failure.”)

If you have time to get ready for NaNoWriMo, then surely you have time to write an outline, even a rudimentary one.

I’ve written outlines for 8 out of 9 NaNos. Only the first year was I pantser, and while I finished, it’s one of the most disjointed things I’ve ever written. I haven’t won every NaNo; there have been 2 years when I outlined, when I didn’t finish. 2013: I cannot remember why. And 2015: when I had just had my son.

Outlining is a huge help. So, write an outline. At the end of this blog post, I have a handy-dandy guide which includes an outline exactly how I outline my NaNo novels.

3. Be realistic.

Plain and simple: if you work a high stress job, or you work and have kids, it’s important to be realistic. Every year, I approach NaNoWriMo with the idea that if I finish, I’ll be excited; but if I don’t, it’s ok. There is no reason to beat myself up for it. I’m busy and I have a lot going on! NaNoWriMo makes me happy, but if it starts to feel like a burden, I know I need to take a break or stop completely.

All I’m saying here is this: be realistic about your expectations of NaNoWriMo. If you already get up at 6am, you aren’t going to feel good waking up an hour early to write. If your job demands your full attention from the moment you get there to the moment you leave, you aren’t going to be able to break away for a few sneaky NaNo words.

4. Download my free planning guide.

It goes without saying that having a plan in place is so important to finishing NaNoWriMo, especially if you already have huge demands on your time, like work, kids, grad school… you name it. I put together a planning guide to help you get a few pieces in place.

My planning guide includes:

• A schedule to help you plan your days, as well as write down some spots you like to write & your favorite writing tools, so you know what to grab everyday when you’re leaving your house.

• An outline guide to help you plan your outline. This follows my guide that I write about in this blog post here.

• A self-care worksheet to help you write down some ideas for taking a break and keeping your stress level down.

Do you have questions about NaNoWriMo? Let me know in the comments below or on Instagram!