Do You Have Anti-Resolutions?

Are you anti-resolutions? Do you think New Year’s isn’t a great time to make a change to your life? Do you get tired of the jokes about “I start today—just kidding, next year”? Did you grow up seeing late night talk show hosts joking about New Year’s Resolutions? Well then, you’re in the right place!

I’m kind of anti-resolution myself. I think the idea of the New Year being a time to completely change your life is a tough one. But that being said, there isn’t something about that “New Year, New Me!” feeling. January 1 is a great time to set goals for the year, decide what you want to achieve, and work on changing things.

This year, I decided to do something different in my journal. I didn’t just set my yearly goals. I set anti-resolutions: things I don’t want to do this year and things I don’t want to change about myself. Yeah, that’s right: I did the thing that goal setting experts always say not to do. But I found it really cathartic.

Why I Think Setting Anti-Resolutions is Good for 2021

If you’ve been struggling this past year (and truly, who hasn’t been?), you might think there was nothing good about 2020. Nothing positive. And while I whole heartedly kind of agree with you, I do think it’s important to look at the things we’ve learned about ourselves, about our place in the world, and about our community and decide what we want to be moving forward.

Anti-resolutions are a way of telling yourself: in 2020, I was enough. Even if I didn’t achieve what I thought I would. Even if I gained weight. Even if I stopped doing XYZ. Even if, even if, even if. In 2020, you were enough, regardless of what you did or did not do.

How to Set Anti-Resolutions

First things first, look at your past year with a critical lens. What did and did not work for you? What was the most difficult part of the year for you? What did you learn about yourself this year?

Write those things down. Journal about it. Get really into your feelings about it. Write down the things you’re scared to write down. The things you were most challenged by.

Now, look at everything you’ve written and ask yourself, really: what would you not change about yourself this year? What was something that defined the last year in terms of you? Your resilience? Your strength? Those are your anti-resolutions: the parts of yourself that stuck around when you needed them most.

Here are a few examples that I wrote down for myself:

• I will not be bogged down by diet and body talk this year.

• I will not work to shrink myself.

• I will not stop being over-the-top when it comes to at-home activities for Forrest.

What are your anti-resolutions? Let me know in the comments!

Setting Intentions for 2021

Happy New Year!

Woof! What a year 2020 was, huh?

Have you felt like we’ve been saying that since, like, 2015? It feels like the last 5 years have been “the worst year ever” and we all hopefully look towards the next one. (Although, to be fair, I think 2017 and 2018 have been my two best years on record in the last 5 or so.) I wonder when this cultural shift happen, or do you think this is something that always happens during times of social upheaval?

No matter what: 2020 is behind us.

What did you learn this year?

And what of those lessons do you want to carry in 2020?

For me, my main takeaway from 2020 is this: I can do challenging things. I need to learn to say “no” and set boundaries. I need to start being intentional with my time to avoid burnout.

All good things.

This year, I decided to not set strict (or SMART) goals for 2021. That feels like maaaaybe just a little too much. (On this note—is anyone bracing themselves for March 2021? I feel like March 2020 has become the litmus for when things really changed.)

Instead, in 2021, I’m setting intentions. And that works because my word for this year is, well, intention. Be intentional. Have intentions.

We’re all learning how to grow as people in this new world of ours. That’s sort of the fun thing, isn’t it? That we’re all figuring out what’s normal now, what we can reasonably achieve, how we can impact others in real time, right along each other. There are no experts, no one who is ahead of the curve. We’re all flying blind beside each other. It’s kind of a nice feeling.

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For the sake of public pressure (yes, I am that kind of person—I need to tell other people my intentions or goals to make them “real”), here are my intentions for this year.

• Drink more water. My husband and I often joke that I’m a succulent. To be completely honest, I don’t drink much of anything all day. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and then not really take a drink of anything else until the afternoon. At night, I try to drink water, but mostly just so my mouth doesn’t get dry when I sleep. This is a bad habit and I’m an adult, not a succulent, and I have to start trying to drink water.

• Redo the Curated Closet. I bought the Curated Closet Workbook last year and was working on it in February and March. Then, obviously, I didn’t leave my house for 6 months? I’m working on redoing it and learning a bit more about myself in the process. It’s one of my goals to also start posting outfit photos on my Instagram again. Big scary!

• Spend more time on my hobbies. Like this blog, embroidery, reading, and journaling. 2020 was a year where I worked a ton and it became rapidly clear by around September that I was suffering as a result. I took on too much; I was so burnt out I couldn’t even start a book, let alone finish one; I started and didn’t finish probably 20 embroidery projects. However, once I took a break December 16 and stopped working entirely… I was able to read 4 books, work on an embroidery project, and actually watch a movie without scrolling on my phone. It was really eye opening. Part of this spending more time on my hobbies means also being really strict about work boundaries and giving myself weekends again.

• Save money for Disneyland. Isn’t it crazy that in 2020, my husband and I had more disposable income (a combination of me being paid more for my work and us not really being able to go anywhere for 6 months when I was making said bank), and yet we literally couldn’t do any of the things we always wanted to do once we had more disposable income? What a trip. Anyway, if Disneyland is ever able to open again, we are going and I am saving money in order to give myself the trip of my dreams. C’mon vaccine!

That’s it! Those are my only intentions for 2021. I’m keeping it simple this year, y’all: hobbies, fashion, not being a succulent, and going to Disneyland.

Tell me: what are your intentions (or goals) for this year? What do you want to achieve?

My New & Improved NaNoWriMo Prep Guide

Last year, I shared my NaNoWriMo prep guide in this blog post about planning NaNoWriMo when you work. (It’s also available on my freebies page, along with pretty much every other printable and guide I’ve ever made.)

As I’ve been preparing for NaNoWriMo this year myself, way later than usual, of course, I found myself turning to my own guide and making small changes that have made a huge difference in my planning.

Here’s what has changed:

• The design: pages are now easier to print out and read, as well as write all your notes

• A New Goals Page

• Brainstorming pages for ideas, names, motivations, and more

• Improved outlining pages that let you map out your stories climactic scenes

I’ve been having so much fun recreating my NaNoWriMo guide. Even better, this guide is not gated (no signing up for my mailing list to receive it!)—however, starting January 1, it will be removed and only available for purchase! I’d love to know your thoughts if you download it… which you can do so HERE:

Thank you again! Happy NaNoWriMo—it’s getting close.

Do I Have to Write Everyday?

Another month, another series! This month, I want to talk about writing: how to become better at writing, how to effectively set writing goals, and much more. So many people love writing, but when it comes down to it, it can be tough to get started. Writing can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In this series, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to really jump into writing. Thanks for joining me! You can see all posts in this series by clicking here. 

Here’s a question I get a lot—from my family, from my friends, from comments on this blog, in writing groups, everywhere:

Do I need to write everyday? I struggle to find time and I often hear that writers write every single day. What does that mean?

Here’s the thing about writing every single day: some people can do this and be fine; some people do this and get burnt out fast; some people do this and don’t think about it; some people have to take time training themselves to write everyday without feeling like it’s a chore.

Where you fall on that massive spectrum is up to you.

But here’s my answer: you don’t have write every single day to be a writer, become a better writer, or even write a novel. But you should work on writing at least every week and focus on building your creativity every single day (even if that isn’t in the form of writing).

Here’s why: creativity is a muscle. The more you work it, the easier it will be to call on it.

When you take care of yourself every day—give your brain plenty of rest, good food, take your medication, whatever you need to be a human—it will be easier to call on your creativity when it’s time to write.

Here’s what that process looks like for me. I try to journal every single day, but I’ll be honest: I fell into a pretty serious depression starting in September and as a result, I let go of journaling. I needed to be focused on healing myself and feeling better. So, when it need, I drop journaling. Otherwise, I try to at least read for 15 minutes everyday, stop using my phone after 6pm (this one is hard), and do something creative (write, embroider, whatever) every single day.

I do write every single day in that I write blog posts, social media for clients, and more. I can’t really stop doing that unless I quit my job(s). However, outside of work, I do try to at least thing a little bit about writing and flex my creativity muscles.

All of this is to say: you don’t have to write every day. But the issue isn’t necessarily writing every day, but being creative every single day. You might work on characters; you might research and read books that you like or that are related to your story; you might draw or paint.

So, I think the answer to the question is ultimately this: it depends on you as a person; you should try to at least be creative in some way everyday; your mental health comes first, always; and if writing everyday works for you, then go for it, hun.

Want more about writing everyday? Here are a few blog posts I liked on the subject:

• 9 Steps to Writing Everyday

• How to Write Everyday

• Why You Need to Write Every Day

• “Write Every Day” is Bad Advice

How to Set Boundaries for NaNoWriMo

I love NaNoWriMo and I love setting boundaries, but how on Earth do those 2 things go together?

Well, more than you would expect.

If you’ve ever done NaNoWriMo, it can feel all-encompassing, like it’s taking over your life sometimes. That’s not really how it should be. Not be blasé, but at the end of the day, you’re writing 1,600ish words every day. It doesn’t need to take over every waking minute of your day.

It’s ok if it does! If your life is set up in such a way, that’s a totally fine. Wanting to succeed at NaNoWriMo is one thing; feeling like it dominates your life for a month kind of sucks the fun out of it, doesn’t it?

What do we need? Boundaries. How will we get them? By setting them and sticking to them ourselves!

Yeah, that second part isn’t quite as catchy or fun sounding, is it?

Before we jump in to setting boundaries for NaNoWriMo, I want to share a few resources for setting boundaries in general.

• A Complete Guide to Setting Boundaries

• 4 Signs You Need Boundaries

• 3 Journal Prompts for Setting Boundaries

• How to Set Boundaries with Kindness

What Boundaries Do You Need for NaNoWriMo?

It goes without saying: start by looking at your life, then your process, then what you want to achieve.

Here are the boundaries I set during NaNoWriMo:

• I have a certain time frame every day to write my words. I make time for it, I communicate that need to everyone around me. If I can’t accomplish my words in that set time frame, I can adjust it, but I also can’t push aside other needs in my life for the sake of words.

• Limit my screen time outside of work and NaNoWriMo. The rest of the year, I might play Animal Crossing or scroll through IG to rest; this year, since I’ll be increasing my computer screen time, I have to limit my screen time outside of those hours too.

• My other work exists and matters outside of NaNoWriMo and I reserve the right to abandon NaNo if it doesn’t serve me.

Now, here are a few categories of boundary that I think everyone attempting NaNoWriMo should consider:

• A time boundary: how much time do you have to dedicate to NaNoWriMo?

• A mental health boundary: are you in a place where participating in NaNoWriMo will serve you?

• A relationship boundary: are you able to communicate to those around you regarding NaNoWriMo? Will they understand to not pressure you to skip it or to dedicate too much time to it?

• A physical boundary: are you able to give yourself space to complete NaNoWriMo while still meeting all your own personal needs?

Setting Yourself Up for Success

Setting boundaries isn’t just a chance to be a fuddy duddy or to annoy your friends or loved ones. (It should be said: setting boundaries can seem like a drag, especially if you’re not used to advocating for yourself, but it’s not annoying behavior.)

When you set effective boundaries for yourself and your goals, you set yourself up for success. You take into account your limitations, the limitations of your space, and the abilities of those around you. You make your needs clear to other people and yourself most importantly.

I don’t want you to think of setting boundaries as annoying, or a waste of time. Think of it as just another step, like having the right tools for a job, of being successful.

Other Resources

Here are some other NaNoWriMo-related posts that you may find helpful!

• How to Prep For NaNoWriMo When You Work

• 3 Tips for Staying Motivated During NaNoWriMo

• 5 NaNoWriMo Essentials

• Is It Time for NaNoWriMo Editing?

• 4 Things to Do To Prepare for NaNoWriMo

• Preparing for NaNoWriMo in 3 Steps

4 Books for Writing Prompts

Another month, another series! This month, I want to talk about writing: how to become better at writing, how to effectively set writing goals, and much more. So many people love writing, but when it comes down to it, it can be tough to get started. Writing can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In this series, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to really jump into writing. Thanks for joining me! You can see all posts in this series by clicking here. 

Happy Saturday! Today is always a great day to rest and indulge yourself in a few of your favorite hobbies. Maybe you already write a lot (like I do) or maybe you just want to get into the habit. Maybe you just want to relieve some of your weekly stress. 

Either way, I wrote this list of books with the intention that these are a great, low stress way to begin writing every day. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of feeling like you have an idea—and if you are drawing a blank, grabbing a book to start your daily journaling or a quick paragraph of writing is one way to get yourself started. Let’s dive in. 

1. 52 Lists for Calm by Moorea Seal

Have I talked about the 52 Lists books enough? Maybe, maybe not. These are my favorite writing prompt books. They’re more personal, obviously, which makes them perfect for daily journaling. Grabbing a book and finding a single prompt to write about has become part of my daily habit. I love 52 Lists for Calm; it’s focus on releasing stress, addressing what makes us stressed and how we feel, and finding ways to support ourselves to calmness. 

2. 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal

I just bought 52 Lists for Happiness and it goes without saying: I already love it. Right now, I think we all are trying to find joy wherever we can. These prompts have been really helpful to me the last few weeks in trying to find joy in little things and focusing on joy instead of feeling like I have nothing to look forward to. (No shame: one of the prompts inspired me to put up some Christmas decorations because they simply made me happy.) This is another great that is perfect for personal daily journaling, but may help inspire you for creative writing or nonfiction pieces. 

3. Coffee Break Writing by John Gillard

I ordered this book in late July 2019, right after I got laid off. I was unhappy, worried, and trying to find a way to fill the time while I waited to find a job. (In case you’re wondering, it did help a little bit.) I’ve been working my way through it slowly but surely. I typically list books that have prompts I can either write in the book itself or write in my journal with, and these work perfectly. The focus of this book of prompts are ones you can write on quickly during a coffee break. There is a ton of variety and they work for a variety of mediums—whatever you want to write (journals, short stories, poems, blogs), you can adapt them to work for you. 

4. Burn After Writing by Sharon Jones

This book has gone viral on the internet several times. I’ve actually owned 2 copies in my life: the one I have now and one I had I think in college that I really tore up. I can’t remember what I did with my college copy, but I still love this book as much now as I did then. This is another one that is perfect for personal journaling that can inspire you to write creatively. I also love that it’s easy to make this mixed medium: you can paint, draw, tear up, experiment, whatever, while writing about your life, or a make believe life, or whatever is in-between. If you’re looking to really stretch your creative muscles, this is a great option. 

Monthly Journaling: 31 Prompts for October 2020

Happy October! Another month, another exciting set of journaling prompts.

This month, I wanted to focus on finding little joys throughout your month (make sure to check out my Inspiration Sunday post on this subject!), as well as Fall memories, focusing on your mental health (and how that feels in your body), and connecting with yourself through writing.

These prompts are a great way to get yourself writing every day, or just give yourself a few minutes to relax and tune out (and get away from a screen!). I hope you find these helpful!

How to Become a Better Writer

Another month, another series! This month, I want to talk about writing: how to become better at writing, how to effectively set writing goals, and much more. So many people love writing, but when it comes down to it, it can be tough to get started. Writing can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. In this series, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to really jump into writing. Thanks for joining me!

What does it mean to be a good writer?

Here’s the tough thing about all creative endeavors: what makes them good is incredibly subjective. We tend to think of writing, however, as slightly more subjective (although this isn’t necessarily too). Art is a visual medium and is more accessible to most people; everyone can pretty much look at a photo or piece of art and say, “I like that!” and it’s easy to tell why. With writing, good writing is often not that different from bad writing and lots of people can read good writing and say they don’t like it.

It’s just incredibly subjective.

It also doesn’t help that writing, like art, can be a skill your born with a predisposition to. But by and large, most people become good writers by practicing, by focusing on it every single day.

This brings me to the question of this blog post: how do you become a better writer? How do you get started on the path to improving, to making writing an every day part of your life? Here are my 3 tips.

1. Write every single day without expectations.

You’re not writing the great American novel every single day. You’re just writing. Write in a journal, write in your planner, write somewhere: on the notes app of your phone, in a Google Doc, somewhere, anywhere.

You can write with a prompt, like these ones. You can write about the weather or your day. You can write poems or drabbles or flash fiction; you can write out quotes; you can write about what you read that day.

It doesn’t matter. You can henpeck your way through a short story you want to write, or you can just write about your day, or you can write about whatever you want: your favorite memories, your to do list, whatever. There are so many things you can write about every day.

But the what doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you sit down and write every single day.

2. Read.

This is an incredibly easy one, but sometimes, it’s the hardest. If you want to write frequently, if you want to write well, you have to read. If you don’t like to read, then you probably aren’t going to enjoy writing at all.

Reading improves your vocabulary. It gives you ideas of what you like and dislike when it comes to writing. It helps you create your own writing style. It can inspire you, distract you, keep your mind working when you can’t write anymore.

Reading is incredibly important to writing. The best writers are voracious readers. It doesn’t mean you have to have critical thoughts about every book you read. But it does mean that you should be engaging with books—and not just in genres you love, but all books, new and old—frequently enough. Read books, read articles, read poetry, read blog posts, read, read, read.

3. Write about the mundane.

I have noticed this trend among authors that they focus on the biggest parts of their book. It’s very easy to write climaxes, the scenes we’re excited about. But sometimes, focusing on the mundane aspects of our days and lives, and those of our characters, is what is going to build our skills as writers the most.

One thing I do every day is write a list of interesting things I saw that day. It might be things like, “a man with very long, beautiful hair walking to the convenience store” or “grocery pick up at Target punctuated by crows landing on the hood of my car.” Just normal, average every day things that are interesting, that I might use in a scene to provide mundane, but realistic, details.

Write about the mundane. Think about how those small details of your life add up and how beautiful they can be.

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That’s it for this week’s blog post! Thanks for reading as always. Next week, we’ll be talking about the best books for writing prompts. See you then!