Thanks for the Memories, 2014!

2014 wasn't the greatest year for me. Or, really, anyone it seems. 2014 seemed to suck for everyone. I take a little bit of comfort in knowing that on January 1, I won't be the only person realized to see 2014 in the review mirror. That being said, sometimes it's easy to let all the negative overwhelm the positive. So here's everything that happened to me in 2014: 

• I finished moving into my just completed home & started paying a mortgage.
• I started reading Geneen Roth books and changing the way I view food (even if it didn't make me change until, oh, 10 months later.) 
• I got really obsessed with nail stamping. 
• Remember that time Mucho Gusto featured Danny and I on their social media? And called us hipsters? 
• Oregon went through an intense cold snap -- and Danny & I survived 4 days without power without killing each other. 
• I bought Danny his first iPhone for Valentine's Day & he sent me flowers for the first time ever. 
• I left a job I hated. 
• I was unemployed for three months. Looking back, I can't remember what I did for all those months. Painted my nails, watched tons of Bones, worked out a lot, went to interviews... basically. 
• I started another job I hated... and quit after a week. Oops. 
• I started another job -- and then was offered my dream job. 
• For three months, I worked two jobs. It doesn't sound that exhausting, but it really, really was. 
• I joined WeightWatchers. Twice. 
• I made a lot of homemade lemonade during the summer. And iced tea. Two drinks I used to hate. 
• Danny and I celebrated our first anniversary. 
• I attended one of the best weddings ever -- Nate & Amy's!
• Then Nate & Amy moved in with us for a few months. (And you aren't family until I back into your car. Be warned.) 
• I fell in love with coffee. Another beverage I used to hate that I can't live without now...
• I also fell in love with leggings as pants. 
• I started scrapbooking again. 
• I made a lot of cupcakes. A lot of cookies. And a lot of other baked goods. 
• I got sick approximately 100 times. 
• Danny & I dressed as robbers for Halloween -- with Remus as a bag of money. 
• I officially quit lifestyle, fashion & beauty blogging. And stopped using Blogger. 
• I bought & built my first website. 
• I decorated for Christmas... the day after Halloween. (No shame.) 
• I started a Fall blog on Tumblr and have almost 8,000 followers, which is somehow deeply embarrassing.
• Danny & I survived our second trip to Disneyland together -- and I think this one was more fun than the first. 
• I bought my third pair of Minnie Mouse ears. Oops. 
• I took an embarrassing number of selfies. 
• Things I perfected this year: pictures of Remus; filling my brows; winged eyeliner; lipstick. 
• Danny & I went to see every Marvel movie (and any other superhero movie) this year. 
• I turned 26 and almost immediately realized I was out of touch with the "youth" (although I still find myself shocked to not be included in teenage demographics...) 
• I made lots of new friends & let some negative people slip out of my life.
• I spent everyday with my best friend -- and realized that, through thick and thin, he's the love of my life. 

The One Thing Lego Does Wrong: Legoland

Your eyes aren't deceiving you: the holiday decorations at Legoland overlap the sign. Really.

Shortly after my nephew, Mason, age 3, exited a simple helicopter ride at Legoland California, my sister sat down on the bench beside my mother and said, "These rides are kind of lame." 

Thank God she said it, I thought with a sigh. I didn't want to be the lame aunt that proclaimed Legoland a massive failure. I was glad I wasn't alone. 

My husband and I, in our 20s and with no kids, had walked through the entirety of Legoland in less than an hour. We'd then eaten an overpriced sandwich and stared at each other for twenty minutes, neither of us wanting to say what we felt: Legoland, despite our love of legos, was horrifyingly lame.

Barely an hour and a half into the park and my oldest nephew, Chase, age 5, asked if they could go to the aquarium soon. When a 5-year-old gets bored of Lego-themed rides, you know something is wrong. 

---

I say all of this with one important disclaimer: I love Disneyland. I've always loved Disneyland. Disneyland, to me, is a great park because it appeals to both adults and children; the focus isn't entirely on shopping; and while tickets are expensive, everything in the park is included with admission (except food and souvenirs). 

I knew something was up with Legoland when we immediately had to pay $15 for parking. Upon entry into the park, I was struck by how small and enclosed the entry area is; there is a gift shop and a food shop to the left and a bigger gift shop to the right. This would set the overwhelming trend of the park: gift shops outnumber rides by about 10 to 1. I'm not kidding. Every single ride Danny and I fit on (because we only fit on maybe 5 rides in the entire park) ended in a gift shop. 

Danny and I walked through Miniland, considered the "heart" of the park. Sure, ok: it's cute. A tiny replica of the world, basically, complete with Las Vegas, New Orleans, Paris, and more. However, the entire place felt dirty. Many of the buildings needed a good cleaning; there was still trash on the ground from the day before; and there was even trash in some of the Miniland places. Oh and there was nothing to do. Miniland is interactive only in bits: you can press a button and make pigs in a farm tilt their head; another button and chickens move jerkily on a green patch. In another area, a button starts a short water fountain. Cute, but... really? Then, the kicker: Danny and I found a lizard trapped in the Grand Central Station replica. We tried to find an exit to coax it out, but we couldn't locate one. I felt so bad for it. 

I hope someone helped this poor lizard. 

One characteristic of Disney is that you are 1. never more than 10 steps from a trashcan and 2. never more than 10 steps from a Disney employee. The same is not true of Legoland. Aside from the ride operators, there are hardly any employees in the park to answer questions or help with directions. 

Another issue with Legoland is some of the rides and games cost extra. The only truly interactive feature in Miniland is a feature where you can drive a Lego boat through a marina -- but it costs $5 for 5 minutes. Throughout the park, you can play carnival games to win prizes -- but they cost $10. Even the pictures they take on rides are displayed on TVs across a counter, so unlike at Disneyland where you can just take a photo of your picture, you have to buy it to see it!

Danny, my mom, and I left after barely two hours. We agreed that it was a waste of money. The entire park felt like a county fair with a few vaguely Lego-related decorations added. Most of the rides had nothing to do with Lego. For about $79 a ticket, that's pretty ridiculous. 

8 Gifts I Got for Christmas (& the One I Still Want)

1. The Romanov Sisters, by Helen Rappaport. A few years ago, I was participating in that hilarious (and weird) past-time of clicking "Random Article" on Wikipedia until I found something interesting. I was still in college at the time and I was painfully bored (and probably listening to Bones on Netflix at the same time). I stumbled onto an article about a little-known Romanov relative and, from there, started reading about Anna Anderson, the most famous claimant to being an escaped Anastasia Romanov. Cue a year-long, secret fascination with the Romanov family, one that I kept close, but never allowed myself to indulge. I didn't believe any Romanovs survived the execution -- but I kinda wanted to. When I saw the Romanov Sisters on Amazon, I immediately want to read it; Danny got it for me for Christmas and I've read over half in two days.

2. A rainbow keyboard cover. Three years ago, my mom ordered me a neon pink keyboard cover for my Mac -- I used it for a long time, but it quickly became stretched out and bubbling. Probably because it was about $1. Danny ordered me this high quality, rainbow one and I love it so much. So much. 

3. Naked On the Run by Urban Decay. I've been a fan of the Naked palettes for a long time -- they aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I loved the original. I was very meh on Naked 2, but loved Naked 3 (even though I haven't bought it yet -- I love the rose gold colors though). When Naked on the Run came out, I knew it was right for me: the same price as an eyeshadow palette, but including a mascara, liner, and lip gloss, as well as two blushes. A girl can never have enough blushes. I love this palette. 

4. New leggings that are not black. I have an embarrassing habit of wearing black leggings everyday that I can get away with it. Which is almost everyday, actually. When Danny offered to buy me two new pairs of leggings (they were buy one get one $10 at American Eagle/Aerie), I couldn't say no -- but I didn't want to fall into my same old black leggings rut. I got a high-waisted light gray pair and a dark gray pair with silver cuffs. They are basically all I wore in Disneyland. 

5. An iPhone speaker that looks like a bean. It's less a speaker and more an amplifier; it works by cramming your iPhone into a hole in the top and hitting play. The little thing then amplifies the sound. It works amazingly well. It's neon pink and, like I said, shaped like a bean. I love it because it doesn't require batteries. I mean, I've been using a bowl to play my iPhone in the shower for a few months. 

6. New Minnie Mouse Ears. I arrived in Disneyland last week and suddenly realized I'd forgotten to pack my Minnie Mouse ears -- I have a classic black-and-red glittery pair that I bought during my honeymoon. Danny promised me a new pair, so I settled on what I call "disco ball Minnie" ears. I'm quickly becoming a crazy cat lady, except instead of cats, I collect Minnie Mouse ears. 

7. Shot Glasses. A few weeks ago, I said (woefully) to Danny that we owned no shot glasses. Lo and behold, Danny's mom sent us shot glasses for Christmas. Perfect. 

8. More Bath & Body Works stuff than you can shake a stick at. Every six month, Danny's mom sends me a bunch of Bath & Body Works stuff -- it's something I look forward to. I usually get a few candles, the free May or December bag, and some much needed Wallflower plug-ins. This year, Danny's mom didn't get online in time to get the free bag, but she still sent me a bunch of candles, a bunch of Christmas-scented lotion, soap, and body spray, and a super helpful little bag of body spray, body wash, and lotion that I used in Disneyland. 

So what's the one thing I'm holding out for?

You know how sometimes, you ask for something for Christmas or your birthday and every holiday in between but no one seems to really get how much you want that thing? For me, that's fair isle sweaters. I'm always sending people fair isle sweaters that I totally love and really want -- and you know what happens? They forget about them. Another year has passed with no fair isle sweater under the tree. Maybe next year my fair isle collection will grow.

Why We Need to Talk about Zoella's Ghostwriter

Hey Zoella, here's the cold, hard truth. 

Zoe Sugg is a "YouTuber" (as I typed this, I literally had to close my eyes and take ten deep breaths, all while reminding myself of Myspace and Livejournal celebrities when I was a teenager). Most people know her as "Zoella", a name that is somehow more unwieldy than her given name.

For months, she's been talking on her channel about her first book. You see, it was a dream of her's to have a book published. She talked about how hard she was working, about writing, about creating this book with her own two hands. She's a vlogger, guys; her job consists of making perhaps one 10-minute video per day. And for that she makes more than I do in a year. Ha! Wow! That's so cool! (Silent seething.) 

Except, after her book was released and started to sell lots and lots of copies, it was revealed that, um, Zoella didn't write it. Ok, yeah, everyone says she "thought up the characters and ideas," but they said that about Kendall and Kylie Jenner's book, too. I'm sure Zoella (and Kendal & Kylie) sat in a meeting about the book and "thought up characters" -- but I don't think for a second she had anymore input than that. 

The sad part is that in the video announcing her novel, Zoella talked about how excited she was and expressed a love of writing. If she loved writing so much, why was the book ghostwritten? Her publisher has said explicitly that it was not written by Zoella -- but even a word. In fact, the ghostwriter has actually stepped forward to talk about the lack of transparency when it comes to celebrity ghostwriters.

You might wonder: Michelle, what's the big deal? She's a celebrity, a "YouTuber." Surely no one expected her to write a novel? 

Sure, yeah. However, like I said, Zoella has said she "wrote" the novel several times and has expressed a love of writing. As someone who is famous on YouTube for being, er, famous on YouTube (can you tell I do not understand this YouTuber fame trend?), her brand is based entirely on authenticity. She's famous for being her, not for having any kind of specific talent. That sounds like a total burn, but I don't mean it like that. Her fame is based on the fact that she's just a normal person filming videos (and making obscene amounts of money for it...). 

This article does a great job in pointing out that yes, Zoella, there are major issues with using a ghostwriter, specifically for your book. It might be standard practice in publishing, but with a new medium like YouTube, the results are not the same for others. YouTubers base their fame on authenticity and using a ghostwriter is the opposite of that. It undermines the brand that Zoella has established. 

That being said, I don't really think any of this is Zoella's fault. Do I think Zoella was naive about how the publishing industry worked? Yes. I believe she was probably told that ghostwriting was the standard for the industry and that if she wanted the book to get finished and be successful, it was the way to go. If she'd known more, she would have put her foot down and demanded to write the book herself -- but she didn't. We know that. She let a ghostwriter do it.

So yes, Zoella is naive, but being ignorant isn't a crime. 

Now, if only she would stop tweeting about quitting the internet and people "twisting her words" and actually show that she's learned from this experience -- she might actually build on that brand that's been hurt by this whole ghostwriting debacle. Because really, the people she lied to were the fans who bought her book in the thousands. People bought that book thinking Zoella had written it because she'd told them she had -- and to find out she hadn't? That's a major break in trust. 

The real issue here is the greater implication this has for publishing as a whole. People are becoming more aware of ghostwriting -- and more aware of issues facing the publishing world. Remember James Fry's A Million Little Pieces? After his book was revealed to be, uh, wildly elaborated, a slew of other autobiographies were revealed to be largely works of fiction. Which was kind of embarrassing for a lot of people, but it had been happening for a long time. 

Does Zoella's use of a ghostwriter -- and the public's reaction to it -- mean that more books will be shunned because of their use of ghostwriters? It is entirely possible and personally, I think it will be a good thing. 

Why Exclamation Points are Sexy

An exclamation point says, "Yeah, you can slam dunk that. Really!"

Listen, I've heard the arguments against exclamation points.

Exclamation can set off spam filters worse than the word "freebie."

You have to ask yourself three questions when wanting to use an exclamation point.

There are at least 6 guidelines for using them, but probably more.

Exclamation points are literally ruining your relationship with this guy.

Using an exclamation in a work email is fraught with uncertainty.

You have an exclamation point addiction and we are concerned. 

Your choice of punctuation says a lot about your personality and frankly, we are all judging you for it. Are you a dash person? An Oxford comma lover? Or are you one of those sick parentheses people? 

Again, you should worry about sending that exclamation point in a work email.

It's all useless though, because exclamation points are going to ruin us all and it's already happening. We should therefore accept our fate as a dystopian society ruined by exclamation points. 

In short: People have a lot of feelings about exclamation points. 

Mainly, people seem to really hate them. 

Well, guess what? I have feelings too and they are about how much I love exclamation points. 

I do! I love them! Have you noticed? Besides the dash, exclamation points are my favorite! They indicate to you that I am a happy person! And excited! And maybe shocked! 

A professional grammarian, which I didn't know was a thing but it totally is, has said that exclamation points are rapidly becoming "mandatory" so you aren't misconstrued on the internet -- but also points out, in the same breath, that exclamation points are "juvenile." 

My journalism professor in college hated exclamation points, even when used ironically. 

Exclamation points are potentially one of the most questioned pieces of punctuation, except for perhaps Oxford commas, but the beliefs about them tend to be incredibly personal rather than grammar-based. Some people just hate exclamation points. Some people also hate dogs for no reason and I also do not trust those people. 

True, some people will argue their anti-exclamation point attitude is based on grammar. The exclamation point, grammar rules state, is to be used only in certain situations, such as expressing surprise. Mainly, exclamation points are something that is heard and so, in writing, they can look like too much. They are basically the punctuation embodiment of Nicki Minaj. 

But that shouldn't stop us from using them. 

As our world increasingly turns to the written word -- think about it, how much do people write on a daily basis now through email, text message, Facebook, Twitter? -- we rely more and more on punctuation to determine tone. Here's an example: 

• But with our new technology, you can do anything.
• But with our new technology, you can do anything! 

I don't know about you, but I don't trust anything being sold to me by that first sentence. They sound bored. Now that second sentence, I want whatever that is selling. They sound fun! 

On a more serious note, work emails can be very, very easily misinterpreted. Your boss sounds angry because they are writing short sentences and using periods. It might not be what they intended, but that's how it looks. You panic. Did I forget to send them something? Oh god, oh no.

You get a same email with an exclamation point at the end and the tone changes. It might sound more urgent, but in some cases, it might clear up what they're saying; they might be busy or excited about something.

Exclamation points express shock, surprise, urgency, and jokes. Exclamation points give you some kind of ability to tell what your boss, or your mom, or your best friend, really means in their email -- rather than just blindly assuming they are being 100% serious. 

As that professional grammarian said, punctuation is becoming the way we interpret what people write on the internet. Plain text will never be able to convey sarcasm to most people (sarcasm is very easy to assume in most cases, but some people still have a difficult time with this -- I mean, look how many people think the Onion posts real articles), nor will it ever get your tone correct. Only through punctuation can we do that.

Exclamation points are an important part of writing. All the hate is unnecessary -- it's like disliking cheerleaders for their pep. Yeah, it can be annoying, but just imagine cheerleaders lazily shouting on the sidelines. That's a world without exclamation points. Personally, I want a world with them. 

How I Became a Schlub -- and Learned to Love It

I should own stock in dry shampoo. 

Three years ago, I couldn't imagine going out in less than my best. I dressed up all the time: blazers and jeans, bodycon skirts and sweaters, tights and boots and dresses. As time has passed, my dedication to dressing my best 24/7 has gone away. I find myself wondering how I can get away with wearing the same leggings-and-sweater combo everyday. I debate whether or not I can get away with hitting snooze one more time, not showering, and potentially wearing my pajamas out-and-about. I own an uncomfortable number of leggings and a truly ridiculous number of socks. 

As a teenager and college student, I was definitely not a fashionista. I always had ideas about what I wanted to dress like, but I felt very constricted by my body and comfort level. In general, I didn't feel confident enough to wear what I wanted to wear -- including all those punk-inspired outfits that were very popular when I was in high school. By the time I was a junior in college though, I'd gained a lot of self-confidence and that translated into dressing in a way that showed I cared about myself. 

That isn't to say not caring is a sign that you're not confident. That's just for me. I felt confident, so I wore what I'd always wanted to wear -- which is no jeans, only dresses, cute skirts, and cute shoes. 

That went on for a long time. At the height of my fashion blog, I felt very, very cute and well-dressed all the time.

However, after college, I worked a series of dissatisfying jobs that left me feeling depressed and bored. The longer I worked those dissatisfying jobs, the less I cared about what I wore. I lost a lot of self-discipline and mostly, I lost a lot of self-confidence. I found myself wanting to change my habits -- eating better, working out more, being active, finding a new job, dressing better -- but feeling unable to. I was very stuck; I was very bored; and I was turning into a schlub after a few good years of being, you know, one of those girls who always seemed put together. 

It was a hard transition for me, adjusting to the real world. It wasn't something I was prepared for. I went from the happiest time of my life and crash landed into the worst time of my life -- and my self confidence took a hit. 

I knew changing jobs wouldn't necessarily change things instantly -- but I was still disappointed when I didn't transform into my old self overnight. It's taken a lot of work, but I'm in a better place now than I have been in probably two and a half years. I still, however, find myself wishing that when I started a job I absolutely love, I would just transform instantly, lose 20 pounds, be able to fit into my old clothes, and restart up my old fashion blog. 

You might be wondering, Michelle, why do you now proudly talk about your schlubyness? 

Ultimately, people change. The person I was three years ago is not who I am now and no matter how much I want to revert back to that state, I can't do that because I'e been through too much. So while some days, I want to restart my habit of writing lists of outfits for the week, organizing my closet by color, and photographing everything I wear, I know I'm not in a place where I can do that right now. 

As my confidence slowly returns, I find myself caring less and less about what I wear -- just because that's who I am right now. There are definitely days where I want to dress up for no reason and I allow myself to have those days. But I no longer beat myself up when I wear the same chevron sweater and leggings two days in a row -- because if that's what I need, then that's what I need. 

11 Steps to Being a Good Customer this Holiday Season

A gentle reminder that the Holiday season is a holiday for everyone - not just you. 

It's not hard to be a good customer any time of the year. It's especially not hard to be a customer during the Holidays. Here's how. 

1. Try your best not to berate sales associates or cashiers. I know, I know, it's a hard impulse to fight, but please, fight it.

2. "The back" is not some kind of magical backstage area of the store. It is also not an identical copy of the store with as many of an item as the store could possibly need. It is not a magical place where fairies make extra stock for the store. Most likely, the back is just a stockroom full of unlabeled cardboard boxes, mannequins that are missing parts, palettes, and mostly unnecessary items that is controlled by one person who only works from midnight to 7am. It's not magic. There are no PS4s or iPhones back there. Stop asking. 

3. The proper way to respond to "How are you doing today?" is not "I'm just looking, thanks." 

4. Everyone has to wait in line. This is not a conspiracy set up to hurt and delay only you. 

5. Don't show up to a store 10 minutes before it closes on Christmas Eve and expect to get stellar service. Everyone wants you to leave. No one loves you at that moment. 

6. "You've ruined my Christmas!" is potentially the funniest thing you can say to anyone, because a) no, b) you ruined your own Christmas, and c) no one really cares. 

7. Saying "thank you" and "I really appreciate it" are free. And say them nice. Thank you. (See? So easy!) 

8. The roads are crowded. The weather is bad. You're cold. Your feet hurt. You want to be home with your family. Imagine how that cashier halfway through a shift feels.

9. If someone says "Happy Holidays" to you, and you don't like it, keep it to yourself. If someone says "Merry Christmas" to you, and you don't like it, keep it to yourself. Guess what? They're saying it with good intentions -- not specifically to offend you. Sort your life out.  

10. Don't shop on Christmas Eve. 

11. I'm serious, do not shop on Christmas Eve. 

25 Ways to Take Care of Yourself

Step 1: Fill your coffee cup with raspberries instead of delicious, jitter-inducing coffee. Just kidding, drink coffee. 

1. Track down every article you've ever read of Gala Darling's about things to do when you need cheering up and promptly decide you don't have the time or money to do any of those things. 

2. In the process, find another article that suggests, in about 6 different ways, that you "take a bath." 

3. Think But I just showered? and decide to not, in fact, take a bath. 

4. Scroll through Tumblr and grow increasingly confused on what teenagers are doing these days. (Tag a new post #OLD and sigh) 

5. Go to Facebook, look up someone you knew seven years ago, and pretend to act stunned when they have two kids. 

6. Secretly rejoice that you don't have two kids. (Unless you do have two kids and then rejoice that you have your kids and not their kids, right?) 

7. Brew a pot of coffee and sit on the couch wishing you could be one of those girls that Instagrams their coffee in really cute, pretty ways - like on their lap with a beautiful blanket, a perfectly manicured hand curled around the coffee cup's handle. Like they just live on a couch with a beautiful plaid blanket and beautiful books. Meanwhile, your dog has chewed up the corners of every pillow and blanket you own. 

8. Take out the trash and wonder why under your sink smells. Decide it's because you accidentally bought Febreeze-scented garbage bags that smell surprisingly like trash. Good luck, you have about 100 of those things left. Thanks, Costco. 

9. Watch Bones for an hour. Get annoyed whenever the season with Hannah starts.

10. Think of ways to use all 10 of the coupons American Eagle sent you. Decide to use none of them.

11. Open your journal. Resist the urge to write "I AM SO BORING" on every page.

12. Take a bath even though you decided you didn't really want to take one. 

13. Start rereading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for approximately the 50th time. 

14. Get mad every time you see Remus Lupin's name. (He deserved so much more.) 

15. Practice deep breathing exercises recommended to you months ago that make you worry you have diminished lung capacity. 

16. Eat handfuls of Skinny Pop popcorn while aggressively cleaning the kitchen. 

17. Read another self-care article. Worry that you aren't doing this self-care thing right.

18. Google Search: "Self-care that does not include weird stuff." No results. 

19. Organize your planners and notebooks one more time. Fret that you aren't organized enough. Vow to become one of those people that scrapbooks their life in Filofaxes. 

20. Fret that you are way too boring to scrapbook your life in a Filofax. 

21. Play video games and get frustrated at your inability to use a make-believe weapon. 

22. Throw a ball for your dog outside. Think blissfully that this is your style of self-care. Watch your dog get hit in the face with a leaf. Laugh at him. 

23. Lie on the couch and watch Ina Garten. Plan a life where you move to the Hamptons and throw extravagant dinner parties. Wonder how you will finance this life. 

24. Play the Ina Garden drinking game with your husband. Lose the drinking game after Ina tells you to use "good cognac" in a recipe. 

25. Write a listicle about self-care while Googling more self-care articles. Decide it's probably just best to chill out.