10 Journal Prompts for 2021

I love journal prompts. I’ve written a few lists of my own journal prompts, as well as writing prompts (which you can use as journaling prompts, natch). I’ve also reviewed, and praised, the 52 Lists books by Moorea Seal more times that I can count.

For 2021, I wanted to start the year on a positive foot—with a focus on self-reflection, not changing myself based on fear, and keeping my self-care routine top of mind. For me, that comes down to journaling.

I wanted to share 10 of the journal prompts I’ve been following this year to help me narrow in my focus for 2021. I hope these journal prompts help you relax, help you think, and help you think of ways you can keep 2021 positive, no matter what happens.

10 Journal Prompts for 2021

1. How did you feel about your home in 2020?

2. What feelings do you feel when you think about home?

3. How was I present in 2020?

4. How was my work in 2020?

5. When I focus on work, how do I feel?

6. What were my biggest struggles in 2020? What can I learn from these?

7. How did you take care of your body this year?

8. What is one way you can think your body this year?

9. How did you nurture yourself this year?

10. What resources helped you thrive most in 2020?

I hope you find these helpful! Let me know if you use them in your journal.

4 Ideas for Holiday Self-Care

Welcome to another series here at Writing Between Pauses. This month, we’re going to be talking all things self-care and the holidays—given how November started, I think we all need a little self-care refocus these days! I hope you enjoy this series. We’ll be covering everything self-care gifts, what’s the difference between self-care and self-soothing, and much more.

When writing self-care posts, it is very easy to slip into those easy tropes we’ve all seen. Take baths! Read a book! Put on cozy socks! Those things are nice and they’re very soothing, but they aren’t self-care for everybody. (We’ll talk about why I consider those things part of self-care, but actually a different part of self-care in a future post. Stay tuned!)

In this blog post, I wanted to give you 4 ideas right now that you can use to prioritize your mental health in the coming months. This past week, I think most of us (at least, those who read my blog—and if you know me, you know where my thoughts lie) experienced a huge lifting of feeling and emotion. The past 4 years have been hard. The past year has somehow been the hardest. And yet, here we are.

If you’re reading this, you survived. You made it.

We can do hard things. You can do hard things.

But I know for so many of us, this has taken a huge toll on our mental health. Personally, the past 3 months have been perhaps the lowest I’ve been since 2015, when I struggled hard with postpartum depression. It is a very hard time right now; part of me is always guilty because I think, I have it so much easier than other people. I want so badly to be someone who remains resilient. But the truth is: we all have our struggles and we can’t put up a decent fight if we aren’t giving ourselves kindness and space to be healthy.

I hope these suggestions give you ideas for the holiday season, for moving forward with self kindness and self-care. Thanks for reading, as always. Let’s dive in!

1. Set Clear Boundaries Early.

Do you have family who wants you to visit for the holidays, even though there is still a pandemic and you’re not sure how safe it is? Do you have family who doesn’t believe the pandemic is even real and they want you to visit them during the holiday season? Here’s one suggestion you can do right now: set your boundaries now.

“Hi [relative’s name]. Thank you so much for thinking of us this holiday season. We won’t be able to make it to your party this year, but expect a gift from us in the mail!” That’s all you have to say. You set the boundary. You communicated it. If there is pushback, you don’t even have to give a reason if you don’t want to; you can just say, “we aren’t able to make it!” No apologizing, no giving in. That’s your boundary.

If that isn’t your boundary (and I get it, it’s totally your choice), still work on setting your holiday boundaries early. Communicate when you’ll be working and when you won’t. Let others know when you’ll be available and when you won’t. Setting these boundaries now means you’ll be more comfortable enforcing them later.

2. Create a System that Prioritizes Your Needs.

Guess what? You’re important! Your needs for sleep, comfort, food, and more are important!

Creating a system is a kind of complicated way of saying this: make it easy to prioritize yourself now. Create the framework that means you have the things you need and will need for the coming months available. Schedule the grocery pick ups. Meal plan. Set aside special days for take out or just plan for it once a week when you feel like it. Order your prescriptions and medications. Stock up on what you’ll need for your favorite holiday baking or craft projects.

Make it easy to prioritize yourself and your needs now so that it’s easier later.

3. Ask Your Friends if They Can Be An Ear.

Reach out to your closest friends and ask in advance: if I’m struggling in the next 2 months, can I call or text you?

It’s just as easy as that! If they say yes, add them to your favorites. If they say no, thank them for their honesty. If you’re in the mental place for it as well, you can also offer in the same breath to be available to someone if they need to call and vent, or get advice, or just talk about something happy for a moment. Ask for an ear, offer to be an ear. No matter what, get a list of people you can turn to for support now, rather than later.

4. Schedule Therapy.

You don’t know you need therapy until, well, you need therapy. I’ve been going to therapy once a month recently; more frequently and it tends to have an opposite effect for me. This is the perfect sweet spot for me to have enough to talk about and get enough “homework” to work on.

However, if you suspect the holiday season might be hard for you, here’s my suggestion: find a therapist to work with now (if you don’t have one) or schedule your sessions in advance (if you do have one). Right now, I have sessions scheduled for the coming month, knowing that the weather, the holiday season pressures, and work issues are going to come to a head.

No matter what, I’m prepared to either be fine OR need additional support from my therapist. Whatever happens, happens, but I have my schedule in place and I’m prepared.

Do You Struggle to Find Time For Yourself?

It feels like a universal problem: women put themselves last on the list when it comes to self-care or just basic necessities. Time slips and suddenly, we find ourselves 4 years postpartum and not having been to the doctor for, well, that entire time. We skip getting ourselves new things in favor of the others in our life. We fold the laundry while listening to a podcast instead of just relaxing. There are a thousand little ways that people, but especially women, find themselves putting the needs of others before themselves.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

But when taken to an extreme, it definitely can be.

Caring about other people isn’t a problem. The problem is not having boundaries when it’s too much.

One of the things about setting boundaries is this: you have to keep your boundaries, even when it’s hard, even when it’s challenging, even if sometimes you want to do something. (To read all my posts about Setting Boundaries, click here!)

When it comes to taking more time for yourself, you’ll need to set boundaries around your work life, personal life, and home life. That’s not easy work, but it’s worth it in the long run. Let’s talk through a few ways to set boundaries and have more time for yourself.

1. Say no to projects.

You don’t have to say no to every project—but if you just plain don’t have time in your schedule (and you know when that’s true—you just do!), it’s ok to say no. In fact, it’s best for you to just say no to those extra projects. As fun as they might be. As good as they might before you. As much as you might want to help a friend or a favorite client.

Say no to the extra projects. That’s a boundary.

You don’t have to say, “No, sorry!” and that’s it. Here are a few ways to say no to extra projects to help you out:

• “Thank you for thinking of me! This sounds like a really great project. However, my schedule is full until January. If it can wait until then, I’d love to take it on.”

• An alternative ending: “My schedule is full until January. I have another friend that I think might be perfect for this project. Can I put you in contact with them?”

That’s it! Here’s a run down of what to say if your situation doesn’t fit that scenario:

• Acknowledge the feelings. (This sounds fun! or I’m so glad you thought of me, that’s so kind of you.)

• Communicate the boundary. (My schedule is full; I don’t have time; I want to do a good job, but can’t because of my schedule.)

• Provide an alternative.

2. Schedule your chores.

I know this sounds not-so-fun, but it’s the best advice I can give you. If you, like me, struggle to make time for yourself, but also struggle to prioritize housework, then this is for you.

When it comes to housework, I want a beautiful, clean, organized home. And about 65% of the time, I have it. But it’s usually because I fall behind in what I’m doing, get distracted, or get burnt out—so I do one big cleaning every other week instead of cleaning throughout weeks to keep my home nice from the start.

A few months ago, I started setting a timer for every evening at 6pm. I drop whatever I’m doing and go clean the kitchen: finish the dishes, wipe down the counters, clear away the clutter, sweep the floors if I need to. It takes maybe 30 minutes, but it helps me feel just a little more productive. In the morning, I set a very similar timer to quickly clean the bedrooms: make the beds, pick up toys/blankets/etc, clean the bathroom toilets if they need it, and whatever else needs done in that 20-30 minute window.

It’s been hugely helpful to set aside these 2 windows every day to get the chores done that help my house feel the cleanest. It makes weekend cleaning way less insurmountable and the more I include these in my schedule, the more they become part of my routine.

Then, every Sunday morning, I do a full house cleaning: vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, the works. It makes it easier to have taken care of some of that work throughout the week. This means once I’m done with a 2-hour cleaning binge on Sunday morning, I have all the time in the day to do whatever I want.

3. Pick your battles carefully.

If you have kids, you know that quality time alone is a challenge. Our kids love us and they want to be around us. It’s hard to tell your kids you want time alone—they don’t understand this concept because they are almost universally more social than us. (Sometimes I think about the fact that I used to go to school and be social every single day and it’s like… shocking.)

That being said, sometimes it’s about picking your battles with kids. If you need quality time to recharge, is there a way you can do this with your kids?

Here’s a scenario: Forrest really can’t fall asleep alone. He’s just at a very specific age, and of a very specific temperament, where this is a challenge for him. I could fight with him to stay in bed every night for 2 hours until he passes out and have 0 time for myself… OR I could let him lie beside me in bed while I listen to music and play Animal Crossing. Which sounds more pleasant to you?! That’s what I thought! And I agree.

Pick your battles. What will you fight your kids on? Helping with chores, keeping their rooms clean, not asking you to do things that they can easily do themselves. What will you night fight your kids on? Things that will make your life harder, take up more of your time, or generally make the house a miserable place to be. This will be different for every parent and it’s really up to you. But I know you have it in you to make these choices! Set your boundaries, communicate them, and choose what to fight about.

3 Ways to Reduce Stress While Working From Home

Working from home is a different kind of stressful, isn’t it? I've never been a huge fan of working in an office--I like being alone and I'm very easily distracted.

But working from home isn’t exactly a cakewalk, either. It can be lonely and you can easily get distracted by other parts of your home (like that pile of laundry that has refused to fold itself for 2 days or the kitchen that needs a good cleaning). Plus, if you are also taking care of children and trying to work, it’s a whole other ball game.

Today, I want to talk about reducing stress while you’re trying to work from home effectively. This isn’t necessarily self-care, but it is related. Reducing your stress now will help reduce burnout later (or… right now); it will also help you feel less like you’re about to go off the rails at any moment. (Trust me, I’ve been there. Recently.)

If you’d like to read more self-care posts, click here to read more!

Reducing stress is different from person-to-person—so we aren’t going to focus on simple stuff. Some people might be soothed by essential oils; others might find them aggravating. This is going to be a bit more high level than “buy a diffuser” or “do your self-care routine!” Right now, I just don’t personally find stuff like that especially helpful if I’m trying to find methods to make myself feel less like a boiling kettle.

I hope these tips help you moving forward. And if you need a friendly ear, I’m always here to listen!

1. Get it all out: journal every day (even for 5 minutes).

A few days ago, I was having a rough day. I had multiple deadlines and a very cranky 4-year-old who was feeling ignored, isolated, and sad. To get paid as a freelancer, I have to meet my deadlines—but as a parent, I also felt like I couldn’t let Forrest down. I sat at the kitchen table while he colored and wrote in my journal for 10 minutes. I wrote down everything I was feeling: totally overwhelmed, guilty for wishing schools would just freaking open already (I know, I know), exhausted, guilty for being a mom who couldn’t interact with Forrest as much as I wanted, anxious that my home was a mess and I had every single laundry basket we own full of laundry to fold… the list goes on.

After the 10 minutes was up, I gave Forrest a big hug and a kiss and told him I needed to work. He felt better and I felt better. I hit all my deadlines.

Those 10 minutes of just getting the feelings out was worth it.

Here’s the thing: journaling might not be your thing. (Although, if you’re feeling frequently anxious or stressed, a journal is a great idea.) But there are lots of ways to just get the emotions out. You can sing along to a favorite old emo song. Call a friend to vent to. Let it out in the group text. Whatever works for you, talking about what’s going on can help so much.

2. Make it easy: find a routine that works for you.

Working from home is hard. And sometimes, reading all the tips in the world to work from home won’t help.

You need a routine and, specifically, you need one just for you. That’s why I’ve been writing a series of posts about routines; you can read them all here.

Here are a few of my suggestions to reduce stress in your routine:

• Schedule in breaks.

• Stagger your tasks. Mix harder, more mentally straining tasks with easier, simpler tasks.

• Make your environment happy for you. This is a big one: you can have the best routine in the world, but if the space you’re in makes you crazy, then it won’t help at all. You might not have the space for your own office, but setting aside a corner in your bedroom or dining room to make just yours will make a huge difference.

• Make sure you meet all your needs. That includes movement, time alone, time with others, time to relax, meals, coffee breaks… you can’t work 24/7 and never meet your basic needs. You simply can’t.

3. Make it simple: shed the tasks that aren’t serving you.

When you’re working in an office, there are sometimes tasks that you do that are so easy, you barely blink an eye. However, once things change, there may be tasks you need to talk to your work about to let them know: this doesn’t work, this won’t work, and I can’t keep doing it.

Here’s an example: I have a client who has a really roundabout process for completing tasks. In normal times, it would be no big deal, but right now, the chain of command has broken down so much, people are harder to reach, that it’s just impossible. Trying to chase down people to complete tasks was becoming a huge pain—so I let the client know, hey, this is driving me crazy, can we simplify this? And we did! Now, I don’t have to spend 2-3 hours every day trying to get in touch with people to pass on a document.

If something isn’t serving you or the people you work for… then change it. Make it easier. If you can’t reduce the stress, then try to remove it. Find a way to make it simpler for you to reduce the clutter of your day.

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Do you have any tips for reducing stress while working from home?

I do want to share a few things I do during the day that help me a lot that are more specific. Here are a few ways I take a break (both before and during quarantine!) while working from home:

• Do 10 minutes of step aerobics while watching TV.

• Listen to a podcast while I make a cup of tea.

• Sit outside with Remus.

• Water my flowers outside.

• Work on organizing my planner.

• Read a few articles on Buzzfeed or scroll my favorite Twitter accounts.

Thanks for reading!

5 Affordable Self-Care Items

When it comes to self-care, I always say the same thing: self-care has 2 branches, self-care and self-soothing. They get used interchangeably and that’s fine! In this situation, we’re going to talk about self-soothing and things you can do to make yourself feel good at the end of a long day.

If you’re like me, you’re following stay-at-home orders and keeping close to home. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a little self-care.

Each week, we place a grocery pick up order and a Target pick up order. At Target, we’re usually getting household supplies, like laundry detergent, dish soap, and that kind of thing. But each week, I do try to add in a special item, something that will make us happy. This might be a new toy for Forrest, a craft kit, a new book for Danny, a DVD… whatever. Just something that’s a treat.

I wanted to share a few of the affordable, self-care focused items I’ve gotten from Target recently to make my life feel a little more decadent and to show myself kindness everyday. All of these items are $15 or under. That’s right: affordable, available at Target, and most of them should be available for drive up or pick up.

Want more self-care? Here are two previous posts of mine on the topic:

• What My Self-Care Routine Looks Like Right Now

• How to Practice Self-Care for Freelancers

You can also browse all my posts about self-care routines here.

1. Pacifica Stress Rehab Coconut & Caffeine Face Mask

Pacifica is one of my favorite drug store brands: it’s high quality, cruelty free, and contains great ingredients without costing an arm and a leg. My second favorite is YesTo, but I’ve found that a lot of people have allergic reactions to their products and I’m always hesitant to recommend them. 

This is one of my favorite face masks to grab when I’m in need of a little pick me up. At $9.99, it’s not too expensive, but it feels decadent and I love how it makes my skin feel. My skin has been very tired and dehydrated lately—all the stress and coffee have definitely been wearing on me! If that sounds like you too, this is a great way to treat yourself on a Friday night (or any night, honestly). 

2. Macaron Bath Bomb Set

I’m sorry, but these are so stinking cuuuute. And they’re super affordable for a set of 4! They smell amazing and will look super cute displayed in your bathroom. You need them. You’ll love them. They’re so affordable. Get 2. Thank me later. 

3. 52 Lists for Happiness by Moorea Seal

I’m on record as loving Moorea Seal’s books! I haven’t gotten 52 Lists for Happiness yet, but it is on my list. Next month, I’m restarting the original 52 Lists Project (one per day!) and then I think I’ll get this book. However, if you’re new to journaling, or just looking for a way to de-stress, these are a great stepping stone! They’re beautiful, thoughtful, and give you plenty of space to play. They are also very affordable for guided journals—under $15 and available at Target. 

4. OGX Extra Creamy Coconut Miracle Ultra Moisture Lotion

I know most of us probably own body lotion, but let me introduce you to this $6.99 secret: the best coconut smell lotion in existence. 

Last year, I started a project where, whenever I put on lotion, I would repeat, “Thank you, thank you, [body part]” over and over. It will surprise you how much this has genuinely helped my attitude towards my body. It’s also a great way to remind yourself to thank your body, even on hard days, for doing its best. So, at the end of a long day, rub some lotion on those dogs (that’s your feet, natch) and say thank you. You made it. 

5. Fuzzy Socks

These are sooooooo cute. I’m obsessed. I love socks in general, as I don’t like having bare feet in my house. Nothing makes me feel better, however, than putting a fresh, clean, fluffy pair of socks on when I’m feeling stressed or just need to feel better. I’ll often strip off my “house socks” (old athletic socks, usually) and put on some of my favorites when I’m especially in need of feeling better. They keep my feet warm, they look cute, and they make me happy. I love these ones from Target, but they have tons to chose from, obviously.

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Have something that’s keeping you going right now? Let me a comment below and let me know!

What My Self-Care Routine Looks Like Right Now

“I think I’ve been waiting for this my entire life,” I told my therapist almost two weeks ago.

I’m always waiting for the disaster a little bit. For the bad thing to happen. At every single job I’ve ever had, I’ve waited to be fired. “One day,” I would tell everyone, “they’ll just notice that I don’t know what I’m doing and they’ll fire me.” I’m always waiting for the big snowstorm, the power outage, the car accident. I’m always waiting for something to go wrong somehow. I await chaos at every moment—so when chaos erupts, I actually feel really calm and collected. I stop panicking.

I experienced this after I got laid off in July. I remember telling my therapist how energized I felt, how it felt like I’d been waiting for the shoe to drop for years. We talked then about what this meant, how to prepare for the inevitable comedown.

When I went to my therapist appointment two weeks ago on Wednesday, freshly sanitizing and ready to stay 6 feet away from my therapist, I again felt more calm than I had in ages. We talked about the same thing then: right now, I feel calm because this feels like something I was prepared for… but eventually, it going to wear off.

I’m not saying this to say, “look at me! I was prepared!” I wasn’t totally prepared. While I’m always on the edge of my seat, waiting for the big bad… I didn’t think it would be this. I’m not happy about it. That’s for sure.

I left my last therapy appointment having no idea when I’ll be able to go back to therapy. However, my therapist offered to do virtual or phone sessions, so that’s good to know. At the time, we just didn’t know what would stay open and essential and what wouldn’t. I instead left with a plan to establish a really strict self-care routine that would hopefully carry me through this weeks and prepare me for the ultimate moment when staying home 24/7 with two other people would become too much.

It seems like it might be helpful to share what I’m doing and how I’m keeping my routine in place. I even made a handy printable for you, if you want to start putting a self-care routine in place.

Self-Care versus Self-Soothing

I’m obviously not a mental health professional. However, my therapist has always divided my self-care routine into two separate spheres: self-care (that is, regimented things that help me to improve my mental health and create boundaries) and self-soothing (that is, activities that make me feel better on bad days.

Here are some examples. For me, a self-care item is: is keeping a routine for my day (wake up, make coffee, write in my journal for 20 minutes). A self-soothing item is: doing an Aztec clay face mask at the end of the day.

Does that make sense? Good. Let’s jump into how I structure my routine.

My Self-Care Routine

My routine is ultimately ruled by Forrest’s routine. I knew I was going to have to give him some structure immediately. When Oregon schools announced they were closed until March 31, and then, April 28, I knew that in order to survive, he needed a schedule.

I drew something up that day. It looks something like this:

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

That’s just the morning. Here’s how my schedule fits in:

• 6:00am - I wake up, get dressed, wash my face, make coffee, journal, and then work until Forrest wakes up

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• During TV time, I catch up on work and do any chores, such as washing dishes or putting dinner in the crock pot.

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• During quiet time, I usually try to either take a shower, work, or catch up on laundry/chores.

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time. We usually go on an hour+ walk or hike; this is good for me too!

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• During Quiet Play Time, I work.

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• This is self-soothing time. I usually lie in bed and play Animal Crossing, read a book, do a face mask, whatever.

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

• After bedtime, I usually go through my to do list and see what I missed, transfer it to the next day, and make a game plan for what to hit during the day. I try to be in bed by 10pm, but sometimes that stretches to 11 or so.

Whew! I know that’s a lot of information. But I want to show you how my day fits into the schedule I’ve created for Forrest. His lessons aren’t full lessons; we usually read a book and do a worksheet or activity, paint a picture, or learn a song. (You can learn more about the resources I used for these lesson plans here.)

I try to hit a few big self-care routine pieces everyday:

• Having a routine immediately upon waking up that helps me feel energized.

• Giving myself time to work and get chores done as I need to (those quiet play times have helped a lot! Forrest’s room is a mess, but who cares).

• Taking at least an hour for myself in the evening to just relax and do something I really enjoy.

I know for many people, the idea of doing this with kids seems super challenging. Here’s the truth: Forrest interrupts me a lot. But we’ve been talking to him lately about a few things:

• When a door is closed, you knock and ask if it’s ok to come in. if the answer is no, then the answer is no.

• When I’m working, I need to work. The less interruptions, the sooner I can make an egg carton tree with him.

During this time, it’s all about survival. It’s ok if a schedule like this won’t work for you. I want you to have the tools you need to create a routine that works for you and if my routine helps you, then that’s great. If not, that’s ok too! However, if you are working from home for the first time, it is important to establish boundaries, if you have kids or a partner, that will help you get your work done and not feel totally overwhelmed. If you need work from home tips, here are mine.

I have also been trying to work in time to meditate each day—or at least sit, without a screen in front of me or a book or my journal or something, and just think and breathe. I really like this guide to beginning meditation.

I also created a handy-dandy printable for you to outline your own self-routine schedule. This is formatted by a checklist and includes a gratitude section; you can use it for daily journaling or just as a one-off. However you use it, I’d love to see it! You can use the hashtag #thisweeksgoldstar on Instagram.

I hope it helps you! I’m always here to chat. This is a tough time, but if we lean on each other, we’ll all be held up. Stay safe, stay home, and stay healthy!

How to Create A Quick Morning Beauty Routine

What energizes you in the morning?

What makes you feel totally prepared for a big day?

Routines are something that helps me feel more energized throughout the day. The less routine I have, the more likely I am to drift, feel anxious, and struggle to complete tasks. But if I have a routine in place where I do the same things upon waking up, then transition into work, I feel energized and more focused.

However, developing a routine when 1) you have a child and 2) you work from home can be a huge challenge.

A huge part of my morning routine has always been my beauty regimen. If you’re leaving the house for work, or school, or whatever, you know the drill: you have to do a few things before you’re ready to face the world. But what those things are can vary person-to-person.

One thing that doesn’t change is the fact that a beauty routine can help us feel more awake and ready for the day—and ready to transition into whatever routine (work, taking care of kiddos, whatever) you have that day! However, implementing a consistent routine that makes you excited can take time and effort. I want to guide you through the process so you can get a routine in place that makes you feel ready to face the day—and most important, makes you feel good every single day.

Why A Good Beauty Routine Matters in the Morning

You want to start your day feeling GOOD. If you’re not a morning person (and let me tell you, I woke up sick today and I’m not feeling the world at all), a good routine that makes you feel your best is a great place to start.

To me, a beauty routine isn’t just putting on make up or washing your face. It’s a combination of things that help you start with your best foot forward. Here’s my morning routine, as an example:

• Make & drink my coffee

• Light a candle

• Make my bed

• Take a shower

• Wash my face & moisturize heavily

That’s it. If I’m not leaving my house, just working, then that’s all I really need. But nothing makes me feel better than having my bed made, my room smelling good, and my body feeling clean. Plus, if I’m not feeling my best (like right now), it gives me something to focus on and put energy into that also revitalizes me.

Now, let’s talk what makes a great beauty routine.

1. Know Your Needs

Your beauty routine might not be mine (although you might find inspiration in it). So first things first, know your needs: what do you want to accomplish with your beauty routine in the morning? Feeling fresh after a night of sleep? Keeping your dry skin moisturized throughout the day or your oily skin matte?

What makes you feel best? Pampering or taking on a task that you don’t really love? What would help you feel energized.

Here are a few places to start:

• Does taking a shower make you feel ready for the day or does it sap your energy? If it isn’t comfortable for you, switch your showers to the evening.

• Do you have a face wash that fulfills all your desires? What about moisturizer?

• What would help you feel most excited for the day? A body lotion that smells like your version of heavy, a new cozy sweater?

2. Pick Your Products

The products you use in your routine are going to make a world of difference. I’ve included a good skincare routine checklist to help you pinpoint specific areas and the most basic steps you need for fresh skin every single day.

However, sometimes, it’s more than just a good, basic routine. What makes you feel luxurious? I want you to think of at least one thing that you love using every single day and start to include that in your routine. No more saving your favorite perfume for special events or that lotion that makes you feel like a queen. Use it today. Use it every day. Make it part of your routine because you deserve it.

3. How Much Time Do You Need?

Time is relative. When I say “quick” what do you think of?

For me, it’s 20 minutes or less. If I’m doing my hair (aka I need to blow dry and/or curl it), it’s 45 minutes. For some people, however, those times might be way too long or way too short for what they want to do.

It’s all up to you.

What time do you wake up in the morning? When do you start work? How much time do you have to get a routine in place? Are you willing to wake up earlier, or do you want to sleep in a little bit more?

Whatever time you choose, make it something that works for you. If you want to spend 5 minutes putting on body lotion and thanking your body, then incorporate that.

4. Makeup Is Optional

It goes without saying: your beauty routine doesn’t have to include makeup. But if you want it to, choose a few items of make up that make you feel your best. If you’re trying to condense your beauty routine, then committing to a full eye look or winged eyeliner every single day might not be something you can do.

However, if winged eyeliner makes you feel good, find a product that works perfectly and stick with it. Incorporate it into your routine so you always have time to get it done. Whatever it is you choose to include in your make up routine, make sure it makes you feel good, whether that’s an eyeshadow look you love or a lipstick that makes you feel more powerful.

5. Keep Your Routine Evolving

No two days are the same, so why should your routine be the same? Being able to adapt, whether it’s with skincare concerns or time constraints, can help you feel more confident when you start your day.

How to Approach Your Routine Every Day

Every evening, I write down a few things I want to start my day with. Like I said, mine usually includes making my bed, drinking my coffee, and focusing on doing one thing that makes me feel really good. (Today, as an example, it was coating myself in Vicks Vaporub and filling my diffuser on my desk with peppermint essential oil.)

You can use the graphic I’ve included to write down your beauty routine in the evening so it’s first thing on your mind in the morning. You know how prepared you need to be for each day, so take that into account, as well as how much time you have allotted and what you need to focus on.

Moving forward, establishing a routine will help you feel more pampered and ready to start each day. Take time for yourself so you can get your work done without feeling deprived.

What Are the Benefits of Journaling in Your Daily Routine?

Do you keep a journal? A diary? A planner?

More specifically: do you have somewhere to dump all your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, tasks, plans, dreams? It doesn’t have to be a traditional diary. It can be in the daily part of your planner, or the extra notes pages in the back. Or it can be an app you use every day. A notebook you use for your grocery lists. Your Notes app. A Word document on your computer or your Google Drive.

Do you see what I’m getting at?

I’m a lifelong journal keeper. And recently in therapy, my therapist asked if I journaled and I basically started listing all the years I’ve kept journals and diaries meticulously. (My earliest saved, complete journal is from my sophomore year of high school. It’s a Harry Potter notebook.) We talked about the benefits of journaling and things I can start journaling about everyday to start thinking more about.

Journaling has so many benefits. Professionally, mentally, emotionally, personally… and making journaling part of your daily routine is super easy. There are so many ways to incorporate journaling—but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.

Journaling in the traditional sense isn’t for everyone; some people just plain don’t like writing by hand. And that’s ok! You can use whatever medium you like best. But, I do think journaling, no matter how you choose to do it, can benefit you in the long run. Think of it as self-care… and these are all the benefits.

1. Organize your thoughts in your journal.

I spend a lot of time journaling purely to organize everything I’ve got running through my head. I always have a million concerns, tasks, things to think about, ideas… and writing them down helps a lot. Sometimes I do four-point brain dumps, where I organize my journaling into MUST-SHOULD-COULD-WANT TO to help me roll through my tasks and overwhelming, pressing thoughts of what I want to do that day.

Other times, I just sit and write out something I’ve been thinking over. An idea that I’m not sure if I should go for or not.

Journaling gives you a chance to pour out everything you’ve been thinking about. Something you want to refer back to or just want to work through. Use journaling to organize your thoughts, answer your own questions, and work through any problems you might be having.

2. Improve writing skills by journaling.

Plain and simple: if you want to be a better writer, journaling will help you get there.

Learning to write things accurately, you write out longer sentences and better solutions, writing in a way that is compassionate or friendly or solution focused… it’s all in journaling! As well, writing, just like any art form, is better with practice. You only become a better writer by writing… so even if you’re not ready to post blogs or publish a novel quite yet, keeping a journal is a great way to write every single day.

3. Use your journal to track goals & problems.

Me: I want to do this every single day.

Two days later: wait, what was it I wanted to do?

Yeah, if you’re like me and you forget things if you don’t write them down, a journal is a great way to focus on your goals, remembering them day-to-day, and tracking what you struggle with, what helps, and more. It can also help you identify and talk through issues you have with goals, as well as noticing patterns in your behavior.

4. Journaling may help relieve stress.

For a long time, journaling has been added to superficial lists of how to “reduce your anxiety or fix your depression.” And I’ll be the first to tell you: I don’t think it will do that. Like at all.

However, if you’re someone who carries a lot of stress chronically, I can really relate. And I’ll be the first to tell you that writing everything down, getting all of those random little stressors out of your head and onto a page… will make a huge difference in your life! Sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly stuck on something and it’s stressing me out, taking a few minutes to just list everything that makes me feel stressed about that task is all I need to get on with it.

Journaling at the end of the day is also a good way to turn off your brain and keep those little stress points from keeping you awake.

5. Journaling gives you time to self-reflect.

As we go through our lives, there will be time where we have to make choices. And if you’re like me, sometimes you wonder if you made the right choice. Self-reflection is an incredibly valuable skill; it can help you assess your goals, figure out patterns of behavior that hurt or help you, and be you a better person. Using journaling to ask yourself questions like “did I make the right choice?” or “did my behavior hurt someone?” can be hugely helpful.

As well, it can help you assess things you’re afraid of. One big thing I’ve been tackling in my journaling lately is my fear of asking questions—and when that started, what it’s protecting me from, and more. Throughout my journaling, I try to note times during the day when I could have or should have asked a question and what I felt in that moment. That type of self-reflection is helping me overcome something that has impacted my life ever since I was a child.

6. Journaling can improve your memory.

I have a fairly good memory naturally, but a lot of it is because I write everything down, in the moment and in my journal. At my therapist’s recently, I was listing all my family member’s star charts and she paused me to say, “you have such a good memory!” It’s a blessing and a curse.

But if you struggle to remember things, especially tasks or things people ask you to do, journaling can be a huge help. The act of taking notes has been long confirmed to help improve memory. So writing things down as a way to remember helps you remember, even without seeing the notes (or journal) itself. If your 2020 goal is to remember more of your day-to-day and improve your memory, then journaling is a great option.