What My Self-Care Routine Looks Like Right Now

“I think I’ve been waiting for this my entire life,” I told my therapist almost two weeks ago.

I’m always waiting for the disaster a little bit. For the bad thing to happen. At every single job I’ve ever had, I’ve waited to be fired. “One day,” I would tell everyone, “they’ll just notice that I don’t know what I’m doing and they’ll fire me.” I’m always waiting for the big snowstorm, the power outage, the car accident. I’m always waiting for something to go wrong somehow. I await chaos at every moment—so when chaos erupts, I actually feel really calm and collected. I stop panicking.

I experienced this after I got laid off in July. I remember telling my therapist how energized I felt, how it felt like I’d been waiting for the shoe to drop for years. We talked then about what this meant, how to prepare for the inevitable comedown.

When I went to my therapist appointment two weeks ago on Wednesday, freshly sanitizing and ready to stay 6 feet away from my therapist, I again felt more calm than I had in ages. We talked about the same thing then: right now, I feel calm because this feels like something I was prepared for… but eventually, it going to wear off.

I’m not saying this to say, “look at me! I was prepared!” I wasn’t totally prepared. While I’m always on the edge of my seat, waiting for the big bad… I didn’t think it would be this. I’m not happy about it. That’s for sure.

I left my last therapy appointment having no idea when I’ll be able to go back to therapy. However, my therapist offered to do virtual or phone sessions, so that’s good to know. At the time, we just didn’t know what would stay open and essential and what wouldn’t. I instead left with a plan to establish a really strict self-care routine that would hopefully carry me through this weeks and prepare me for the ultimate moment when staying home 24/7 with two other people would become too much.

It seems like it might be helpful to share what I’m doing and how I’m keeping my routine in place. I even made a handy printable for you, if you want to start putting a self-care routine in place.

Self-Care versus Self-Soothing

I’m obviously not a mental health professional. However, my therapist has always divided my self-care routine into two separate spheres: self-care (that is, regimented things that help me to improve my mental health and create boundaries) and self-soothing (that is, activities that make me feel better on bad days.

Here are some examples. For me, a self-care item is: is keeping a routine for my day (wake up, make coffee, write in my journal for 20 minutes). A self-soothing item is: doing an Aztec clay face mask at the end of the day.

Does that make sense? Good. Let’s jump into how I structure my routine.

My Self-Care Routine

My routine is ultimately ruled by Forrest’s routine. I knew I was going to have to give him some structure immediately. When Oregon schools announced they were closed until March 31, and then, April 28, I knew that in order to survive, he needed a schedule.

I drew something up that day. It looks something like this:

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

That’s just the morning. Here’s how my schedule fits in:

• 6:00am - I wake up, get dressed, wash my face, make coffee, journal, and then work until Forrest wakes up

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• During TV time, I catch up on work and do any chores, such as washing dishes or putting dinner in the crock pot.

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• During quiet time, I usually try to either take a shower, work, or catch up on laundry/chores.

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time. We usually go on an hour+ walk or hike; this is good for me too!

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• During Quiet Play Time, I work.

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• This is self-soothing time. I usually lie in bed and play Animal Crossing, read a book, do a face mask, whatever.

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

• After bedtime, I usually go through my to do list and see what I missed, transfer it to the next day, and make a game plan for what to hit during the day. I try to be in bed by 10pm, but sometimes that stretches to 11 or so.

Whew! I know that’s a lot of information. But I want to show you how my day fits into the schedule I’ve created for Forrest. His lessons aren’t full lessons; we usually read a book and do a worksheet or activity, paint a picture, or learn a song. (You can learn more about the resources I used for these lesson plans here.)

I try to hit a few big self-care routine pieces everyday:

• Having a routine immediately upon waking up that helps me feel energized.

• Giving myself time to work and get chores done as I need to (those quiet play times have helped a lot! Forrest’s room is a mess, but who cares).

• Taking at least an hour for myself in the evening to just relax and do something I really enjoy.

I know for many people, the idea of doing this with kids seems super challenging. Here’s the truth: Forrest interrupts me a lot. But we’ve been talking to him lately about a few things:

• When a door is closed, you knock and ask if it’s ok to come in. if the answer is no, then the answer is no.

• When I’m working, I need to work. The less interruptions, the sooner I can make an egg carton tree with him.

During this time, it’s all about survival. It’s ok if a schedule like this won’t work for you. I want you to have the tools you need to create a routine that works for you and if my routine helps you, then that’s great. If not, that’s ok too! However, if you are working from home for the first time, it is important to establish boundaries, if you have kids or a partner, that will help you get your work done and not feel totally overwhelmed. If you need work from home tips, here are mine.

I have also been trying to work in time to meditate each day—or at least sit, without a screen in front of me or a book or my journal or something, and just think and breathe. I really like this guide to beginning meditation.

I also created a handy-dandy printable for you to outline your own self-routine schedule. This is formatted by a checklist and includes a gratitude section; you can use it for daily journaling or just as a one-off. However you use it, I’d love to see it! You can use the hashtag #thisweeksgoldstar on Instagram.

I hope it helps you! I’m always here to chat. This is a tough time, but if we lean on each other, we’ll all be held up. Stay safe, stay home, and stay healthy!

How to Stay Healthy As A New Mom [+Free Printable!]

Being a new mom can be really overwhelming. I've written about this before, but my experience in the first 6 months after having my son was really tough. I spent a lot of time having to track everything I did: pumping, feeding, ounces, diapers. Beyond that, I needed a way to track things for myself. 

Unfortunately, there is no app that combines tracking your baby's feedings and diapers as well as tracking your meals, medications, and more. In an ideal world, I'd be developing just that app because I believe there is a huge place for an app that does that! Most baby tracking apps were clunky to me and either didn't have all the features I wanted or those features were hard to use. 

Instead, I made these printable tracking sheets. I stuck one to my fridge every morning and jotted notes throughout the day. I have a binder full of these that I can't bring myself to throw away. They were infinitely helpful with tracking patterns when Forrest was tiny and my memory was very hazy, especially when our pediatrician would ask questions like, "How many diapers does he have a day? How much is he eating every day?" 

Beyond that, they helped me remember to take care of myself too. For me, that was the hardest part of being a new mom. A whole day would go by and I would realize all I'd eaten was Cheez-Its while holding Forrest for a nap or a hasty dry piece of toast as I pumped. I forgot my vitamins more often than not, didn't remember to drink water, or just plain couldn't remember when I last showered. 

That's why there's a section for you, the mom! Eating healthy, taking care of yourself, remembering to take those vitamins... it's all important when you're taking care of a newborn. Why? Because they need you to be healthy! You can't take care of a baby if you yourself are starving. There are lots of supplements you can add to your diet that have tons of health benefits.

Often, printables like these focus on one thing or the other: just pumping, just breastfeeding, or just formula. For me, I was doing a little bit of everything! So whether you're formula feeding, trying to keep up with pumping, or settling into a good breastfeeding relationship, these tracking sheets work. 

If you'd like to check it out, click below to download and learn more! 

How to Use Daily Notes to Stay Organized + Free Printable!

I love staying organized. And one of the ways I stay organized, day in and day out, is by using lists. Or, daily notes. In my bullet journal from work, I copy the same layout for my daily notes page every single day and use it to record my to do list, my schedule and meetings, as well as a few other tasks (like scheduling social media, posting blogs, etc.) 

Not everyone can use a bullet journal. It's just too much for some people. And it doesn't work for everybody. If you're one of those people, I've created a free daily notes printable that you can use instead--so you can test the waters of daily notes, see if it works for you, and then invest in starting a bullet journal. 

How do I use daily notes? Here's how: 

• I write a to do list for every single day in the To Do section. This is where all my tasks go. If I end up needing more room, I start a list on the next page, but I try to prioritize what I list as an actual To Do. As well, any tasks that I need to get to, but don't have time for today, I put in the Remember for Tomorrow section. 
• I track my water intake and FitBit steps in habits, as well as things like whether I've scheduled social media. 
• In the schedule, I highlight the hours I work, add in my meetings and hourly deadlines, and then note Forrest's approximate bedtime. 
• I use the Meals section to write my meal plan for the day. 
• At the end of the day, I write three things I'm grateful for without fail. It's a good opportunity to reflect on my day and see what I've accomplished, as well as what has gone my way. 

On Setting Goals for 2017 + Free Printable!

I've written briefly before about how I set goals for myself. It's kind of a process, but it's one that I think works really well if you, like me, get a little overwhelmed by goals in the first place. I find breaking down my goals into manageable, easy pieces to be the best way to, you know, convince myself to actually work on it! 

Step 1: Decide what I want to accomplish (aka, what's my goal really?) 

The first thing you need to decide is what you want you goal to be. In my example, what I want to accomplish is to finish Couch to 5K. That's a solid goal, except that it's maybe just a little too specific. Ultimately, my goal is to start running consistently in January. It's not as set-in-stone as specifically finishing a program. 

Step 2: What 3 things can I do to accomplish this goal? 

Once I have my goal in mind, I set myself to setting three deliberate tasks that I can focus on to accomplish this goal. It would be so easy if I could say, I want to run consistently this month; but there is so much else going on. In my example, my three things would be to set aside time every evening where my husband watches Forrest & I go running; prepping meals in advance to cut down on cooking time at dinner; and washing all my work out gear to ensure I'm ready to run. 

Step 3: What 3 things might hinder my progress? 

When I'm setting goals, I know things are going to hold me back. It's best to have an eye on those things before you get too far into a goal. In my example, three things that might hinder my progress are getting hurt, not eating enough calories (and therefore being too tired to run), and the weather (I refuse to run in the rain or if it's gotten too dark). 

Step 4: Set weekly tasks

Sometimes, when trying to accomplish something like running consistently (or cleaning my house, etc.), it's easier for me to break it down into smaller tasks or goals. In my example, my first weeks tasks might be to meal plan for the next month & prep small items (like portioning chicken and vegetables); and my second week tasks might be something like altering my routine to create more time for myself in the evenings. Basically, set a goal and then build up to that goal with smaller, more manageable tasks. 

Step 5: Write it all down

Listen, no one can remember everything. I'm a big fan of keeping calendars and checklists for myself. That's why I created the goal-setting printable for you to download! Just click the button below to check it out.