How to Set Goals for 2021

Am I being really wild by suggesting goal setting for 2021?

I think if 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life can change in a second. Your goals can shift from getting a big promotion to just staying afloat in the matter of a week or two. It’s always good to have things put in perspective and I feel like this year has taught us that too. Things can change; our lives will change; and sometimes, we’re not in control of those things.

But that’s ok.

Here’s my dirty little secret: I did kind of hit one of my goals for this year. In early January, I set a goal of having 2 additional clients by the end of the year.

This year, I grew my business from 1 single client in February (I started my contract with them in late February and the pandemic hit 2 weeks later) to 7 total clients in December. These are clients that I work with on a month-to-month basis.

I didn’t necessarily set out to meet this goal; I didn’t really even think of it every day. I just did good work; I kept going; I journaled my feelings; and I went to therapy. That’s about it. On the way, I was sent referrals from clients, past mentors, and more.

It always feels a little selfish when I say that, despite some hiccups, I’ve had a really great year professionally. 2019 was an extreme “down” year for me, at least for my career. But 2020 has been… amazing. For the first time in my husband and I’s marriage, we have disposable income. We can fix all the things in our house we’ve been meaning to fix! We can splurge occasionally! We can buy Christmas presents without scrimping and saving! It’s kind of wild, to be quite honest. Because while all that is happening, we aren’t able to travel, or go out to restaurants, or celebrate in anyway.

All this is to say: I think it’s totally possible to set and meet goals in 2021, even when things still feel so up in the air. You can both plan for anything and set goals for your own growth at the same time.

Here are my tips for setting goals in 2021.

1. Keep things broad.

Focus on the bigger picture. Normally when it comes to setting goals, I try to keep things larger. Instead of SMART goals, things something larger, more overarching. This might mean setting a goal of establishing a daily routine, rather than saying “I’ll do XYZ every single day.”

Here are a few broad goals:

• Buying a planner and checking in every month.

• Creating a daily routine that works for you.

• Finding an exercise you love by November.

2. Now more than ever, keep goals realistic.

Are you going to save 1 million dollars, meet the Queen, and travel to all continents in 2021? Probably not.

But will you be able to meet some smaller goals. Absolutely.

One thing about setting goals is that you should always focus on what is realistic. What are you actually able to achieve in 12 months?

Maybe you want to go freelance in 2021 or 2022; a great goal to set would be to start networking throughout the year, emailing contacts, and building up your LinkedIn profile.

Maybe you do want to travel more in the future; a good goal in 2021 would be to work on your savings account, research places you want to go, and follow accounts that help you do that. We still might not be doing much traveling in 2021… but we can dream about it, definitely!

3. Your goals should reflect growth.

Your goals should be about growing as a person—not becoming a better version, not about punishing yourself.

When we think of “New Years Resolution”, we often think of weight loss. But I want to encourage you to think about this differently: will losing weight make you happy this year? Will it help you grow as a person? Or would it be more beneficial to focus on the things you can improve in your life? Finding an exercise you love, making more nutritious choices about your food… these are all things we can control and that can help improve our lives, without putting the onus and focus on deprivation and punishment for our bodies.

As well, setting goals that are restrictive in nature—”no more THIS” or "less THAT”—are found to be ineffective. These are the goals that people tend to fall off track with. It’s really easy to do that, because we don’t like to be restricted or to feel like we’re missing out.

Final Thoughts

What goals are you setting in 2021?

For the sake of transparency, my goals for 2021 are: to work on establishing a better work from home routine; to clean up my bookkeeping (it is a constant source of frustration); to release at least 2 paid products; and to begin adding working out to my daily routine again.

5 Exercises for Setting Goals That Stick

A few weeks ago, I asked my Instagram followers what their biggest struggle was when it came to setting goals. I’ve been doing a 90-day goal challenge (as well as a 100 day, inspired by Elsie Larson at a Beautiful Mess) and it’s gotten me thinking a lot about setting, and keeping, goals.

I’ve always been an incredibly goal-oriented person. I am always working on something when it comes to a big goal—but some goals have always been easier for me to meet than others. In the past, I’ve never quite known why I could win NaNoWriMo every single year… but not be able to stick to meal prepping or other goals that seem like it should be a no brainer to hit.

As I’ve written before, I’ve been spending a lot of time in therapy learning how to validate myself, rather than seek out external validation. I really believe that external validation combined with internal validation is the root of why some goals are easier to hit than others. When it comes to completing NaNoWriMo, I often get a rush of validation from other people: friends reaching out to say congratulations, strangers on the internet, my writing group. Validation comes from everywhere and it’s a good feeling to be validated. I can trust that validation. I know it will be there.

But when it comes to other goals, like finishing a workout series or doing my daily writing… those goals aren’t as public. No one is going to cheer me on when I announce I’ve gone a month without cancelling a therapy appointment. No one is going to send me a nice text to boost my spirits because I managed to fold and put away all the laundry. There are some things we will receive external validation for and some things we won’t.

Relying on external validation for all our goals will only make us give up on goals easily. This obviously isn’t the only reason we struggle to complete goals, however. There are lots of ways we can get distracted or be unsure. Here are a few examples that I was sent on Instagram:

Here’s a summary:

• Setting too many goals

• Settings goals that are not achievable

• Finding goals that make sense 90 days later

• Staying committed

That makes it pretty easy to address the issues we all seem to have with goals, right? Most importantly, it seems everyone struggles to set realistic goals that stick—or that make sense after a month. I hope these 5 exercises will help you set better goals in 2020. Think of these as separate exercises that you can do one at a time, but also steps to creating goals that make sense in your life. Let’s get started!

1. Use a Calendar to Set Your Goals.

This task (or exercise) solves the issue of: how can I make my goals achievable?

Firstly, make sure that any goal you set has an end in sight. On-going, long term goals can be more challenging, especially if you’re used to feel defeated about your goals. Set an end date on the calendar. Think in 90-day or 100-day chunks.

Secondly, set a measurable results for your goal. Here are a few examples:

• I’m going to post 3 days a week and share to Pinterest daily until May 1 instead of I’m going to have a successful blog.

• I’m going to go to 3 networking events a week until June 1 instead of I’m going to grow my business and/or I want X number of clients this year.

• I’m going to work out 2 days a week until April 1 instead of I’m going to be more active.

Basically: when setting your goals, think in specifics: what will you measure, how will you measure it, and when will you be done measuring it (and ready to set a new goal). Set these days on your calendar.

2. Use Goals to Improve Instead of Punish.

Sometimes, we think of New Years Resolution, or yearly goals, as punishment. “I’m getting this goal because I’ve been doing bad and now I need to suffer to be good.” First of all, I assure you: you are already good. With my son, I make sure to reiterate that everyone is good, they just make bad choices sometimes. But even bad choices don’t deserve punishment 100% of the time.

Basically, don’t set up your goals as punishments for your own perceived bad behavior. So what if you gained weight in 2019? How do you feel? If you feel sluggish and unwell, adding a few goals to work out and eat healthier might make you feel happier—but they aren’t punishments to your body, they are ways for you to treat yourself and your brain better.

Your goals should be created with the intention to improve your life—not to make you feel miserable. Aim for things that you know will make you feel good and won’t make you feel miserable and unhappy day-to-day.

Here are a few examples:

• I’m going to eat 1 vegetable with every meal instead of I’m only going to eat X number of calories every single day.

• I’m going to work out 2 days a week instead of I’m going to work out for 2 hours every single day.

• I’m going to write every day for at least 20 minutes instead of I’m going to finish my novel by February 1.

3. Break Your Goal into Week-by-Week Tasks.

Let’s take one of our example goals, because they’re very easy. “I’m going to post 3 days a week and share to Pinterest daily” is an easy one. What would be my weekly tasks?

• Task 1: Write 3 blog posts for the next week (working in advance!)

• Task 2: Share to Pinterest and repin every single day.

Easy, right?

Let’s look at a more challenging example.

Here’s another sample goal: “I’m going to grow my business by 10 clients by June 1.” Here are a few sample tasks:

• Task 1: Go to 3 networking events a week.

• Task 2: Send 2 emails per week.

• Task 3: Finish website.

• Task 4: Post on LinkedIn 2 times per week.

Those tasks are a little heavier than the other goal and there are more of them. But do you see the process? Looking at your goal, what are the tasks that you’ll need to do every single week to achieve them? If your goal is to work out 2 days per week, then your task will be to add work out blocks to your weekly calendar. If your goal is grow your blog, you might add in social media management, developing products to promote your blog, and more. It just depends on your goal and what is achievable for you!

4. Copy Week-by-Week Tasks into Your Planner.

This is an easy one. Take those week-by-week tasks and put them in your planner. Add them to specific dates with deadlines. Make them appointments. Here’s an example; if one of your tasks is to post to Instagram 3 days a week to grow your blog, you might add “Post to Instagram” as a task 3 days a week to reoccur until your chosen date. Whatever your task is, add it to your planner, your calendar, whatever you use.

This exercise solves the issue of losing focus on your goal, and staying committed, throughout the weeks after New Years Day.

5. Incorporate Weekly Tasks into To Do List.

If you make a daily or weekly to do list, add those weekly tasks to your to do list when you get to that week. This makes them tangible tasks to complete on a deadline, along everything else you do. As you work on each task, know you’re getting closer to your goal. As you work through the weeks, you can reassess. Let’s look an example.

If your goal is to grow your blog, and you want to pin to Pinterest 3 days a week, but you notice that your pins aren’t having much traction, you might need to reassess your strategy, your boards, and more. That might become a secondary task that you need to address next week to make your weekly task more effective. You might also address whether your blog posts are in line with what your ideal reader wants, or provide enough information to appeal to readers.

My Goals for October

I’m a goal setter by nature. It’s just how I am. I operate best when I have small, easily digestible goals. (I’ve written about this before here.) 

For this Blogtober, I wanted to share a few of my goals, blog-related and otherwise. I always love reading other people’s goals and, especially when taking on a project as big as Blogtober, I think it’s really interesting to share what my hope is for it. Not only does it help with transparency, but it keeps me accountable!

Blog-related

1. Hit 1000 monthly views. This goal has been alluding me for months, but I think Blogtober is officially going to push me over the edge! 
2. Hit 1300 followers on Twitter
3. Post daily to Instagram (I struggle so much with this) 

Personal

1. Add Sunday back into my gym routine. I had been going to the gym Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday—but then dropped Sunday to spend more time with Danny. But now that Danny is back at work (as a teacher), he needs Sundays to prepare his classes and that extra gym day will do me good on Monday morning I think. 
2. Stick to my meal planning. I do a good job meal planning, but usually by Thursday, we’re eating turkey sandwiches or eggs and toast for dinner. 
3. Sign Forrest up for the music classes I’ve been meaning to call about for two months. 
4. Meet my monthly book goal
5. Spend time with friends
6. Take less naps in the afternoon (it’s becoming a horrible habit!) 

What are your goals for this month? 

My Summer Goals

You may have noticed I've been a little quiet lately. On here, on Instagram, not so much on Twitter. I should probably address that now. 

A few weeks ago, I started to get pretty extreme anxiety about... the internet. I got really scared about how much of my life I've shared (over roughly 10 years of my life), of how much I've shared not just about myself, but about my son. You might notice that posts specifically about my son have disappeared. There isn't a lot I can do about Instagram--I've shared a lot of photos of him, but I've gone through and removed any photos that I felt violated his privacy. I only include him in my Instagram Story now and rarely post photos of him on my feed. 

There is a huge part of me that feels maybe I've moved on from blogging. Maybe this isn't for me anymore. I've been blogging for almost 10 years solid--week after week, month after month. I've written an absolute ton of words. I recently went back and deleted my old blogs--yes, Locked Out and Ellipsis are gone for good. That happened after I received a scary, weird email relating to a very old outfit photo someone found on Pinterest. 

My anxiety has been really, really high lately. Taking a step away from blogging allowed me to feel better about everything I've shared. Ultimately, I don't think any of it is too damaging. But putting myself out there opens me up to a lot of scary things. Now that I'm responsible for a small human being, I worry a lot more, specifically in relation to my safety and his safety. 

I've been feeling a lot better and I'll be stepping back into blogging again. It's hard to shift from posting entirely about my life to barely mentioning it. I'll always be more real and personable on Instagram, but I'm trying to be more conscious and careful there as well. 

Anyway, that's a very long way to say: I got scared; I took an almost month long break; but I feel better now. 

On that note, let's talk about goals for the summer. 

1. Focus on content again. 

For a few months, I was really great at blogging day-to-day. This weekend, I'm going to be sitting down and writing out an editorial calendar for June, July, and August to keep me on track again. 

2. Keep up my gym routine. 

If you follow me on Instagram (and watch my stories), you know that I got to the gym 4-5 days a week again. I've been posting my workouts and progress. My main goal, honestly, is to increase my arm strength. I can leg press over 115 pounds, but I can barely do 15 bicep curls at 10 pounds. That's embarrassing. 

3. Clean up my social media accounts. 

This is an overwhelming task. I have nearly 10 years worth of tweets (cringe). A few weeks ago, I deleted about 3,000 tweets from college. That was 18 months worth of going through and filtering. It's tough, long work, especially because it involves looking back at every dumb thought I shared. But it's important spring cleaning. 

3 Ways to Achieve Your Blog Goals

As I sat writing this blog post this morning, I felt a bit like a fraud. I feel like I've written this sentence multiple times already, but: March was a bit of a rough month for me. The very first Friday of the month, I got the flu and was sick for a solid 3.5 weeks. Just as I started to feel 100% better, I woke up this morning with a sore throat again. How's that for getting better? As a result of being sick, a lot of things have fallen to the wayside, the main one being this blog. 

So, yeah, I feel a bit like a fraud writing this post knowing I won't have hit my goals for March in terms of page views and growth. But, that's life, isn't it? Some months you do everything right and have a great month (January); some months you achieve your goals even when you aren't sure why (February); and some months, you really want to try, but you just can't (March). 

Anyway, what I'm saying is: blogging should, at the end of the day, be about passion. If it's taking it away from you, you need to adjust what you're doing. I know a lot of people start blogs in the hopes of doing it full time, but I highly discourage this behavior. We've seen multiple "blog bubble bursts" in the last few years--the first round of very famous Mommy Bloggers are currently in the process of downsizing their homes, selling off all the trendy furniture they bought, and locking down real jobs. I'm not kidding. All I'm saying is: don't put all your eggs in one blogging basket. Be realistic: blogging is, at most, a supplemental side gig. Use it to supplement a full time position. 

Ok, that's my only little PSA/soapbox. Let's get onto some tips for actually hitting those blog goals. 

1. Actually Set (Realistic) Goals

I mean, duh-est of duhs, but you should actually set blog goals. Every month, on my editorial calendar, I write a few little goals: usually a page view increase of 3-5% (nothing crazy), and a certain number of Twitter or Instagram followers. The most important thing is to set realistic goals. You might see some people claiming to gain 2,000 Instagram followers in a month, and not to doubt those people, but buying followers doesn't count. Using hashtags and an increased Instagram strategy, I've gotten about 150 followers in 4 months or so. Yeah, that's realistic. My goal every month is 10 engaged followers on Instagram. 

2. Strategize Social Media, but Don't Go Overboard

Here's the thing about social media: it's easy to let it drive you crazy. When you're trying to schedule posts for Facebook, for Instagram, for Twitter, for Pinterest, and more, it gets really overwhelming, especially if you're also a full time student, or parent, or worker. The truth is, you probably just don't have time to do all that managing. I decided to stop scheduling Twitter posts recently (unless something really tickles my fancy). Instead, I focus on scheduling posts for Facebook and that's it. I get a higher return from Facebook, so that's where my energy should go. My goal for Instagram is two posts a day (one around 10am-1pm, and then one after 6pm). 

Ok, but what about Pinterest? Every day, I spend about 20 minutes pinning 5 of my blog posts to two group boards. That's it. And I get a ton of traffic from Pinterest by repinning, by creating dedicated boards to specific topics that are popular on Pinterest, and by creating graphics that look good on Pinterest. You don't need to pay a whole heap of money for a fancy Pinterest scheduler, I swear. I do most of my Pinterest work from my phone while my son sleeps. 

3. Join Facebook groups. 

I really groaned about including this one tip. Because it feels a bit like cheating, doesn't it? Facebook groups dedicated to blogging are great places to promote your blog posts, join threads where people share your most recent post (and you share theirs), and learn how to optimize and improve your blog. It can be really time consuming to try to do everything though. I am only a member of three groups and I participate in maybe one thread a week. That's my goal for the moment! For some good Facebook groups to join, I really like this blog post. 

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My February Goals

Tell me I'm not alone: it felt like January went on forever, right? Every week, I thought, next week has to be the last week of January. We're still not done yet! Longest. Month. Ever. This is the January Slump in full effect. 

Since January is almost over, I wanted to share my February goals with you. As you probably remember, when it comes to setting goals, I made myself promise to set baby step goals: I can't do everything at once. 

How did January go? Mid-way through January, I decided to reassess my "health" goals. I reset my FitBit goal to be 6,000 steps instead of 10,000. Why? Because I wasn't getting anywhere close to 10,000 steps a day, it made me depressed, and it made it harder to get motivated. As time passes, I'll increase my step goal accordingly. 

My other goals (like letting myself relax and working on blog promotion) went really well. I set up G Suite for my blog (uh, three years after the fact?) so now you can email me at michelle@writingbetweenpauses.com. Fancy, right? I'm also 8% completed with my Goodreads 2017 goal. So that's exciting! I've also written over 30,000 words in January, not including work and blog posts. That's huge! 

OK, enough checking in! Here are my goals for February. 

1. Promote more bloggers on social media. I want to start sharing 3-4 articles by other bloggers on Twitter. Why? It's kind! It helps them! I love the blogging community and contributing to a positive atmosphere is more important than anything else. 
2. Start taking 1 day off a month to deep clean my house. In December, I took a week off to clean my house and it was amazing. I realized yesterday that I would feel a lot better if I took the time, without Forrest following me around, to deep clean my house one day a month. 
3. Continue going walking in the afternoons. Speaking of FitBit step goals, for the past week, I've taken Forrest walking every afternoon, if the weather permitted. Or we walked up and down the driveway with him in the Ergo. This helped me meet my reduced step count goal every single day. I want to keep it up because I feel better about myself when I hit this goal and can take Forrest somewhere fun. 

What are your goals for February? 

On Setting Goals for 2017 + Free Printable!

I've written briefly before about how I set goals for myself. It's kind of a process, but it's one that I think works really well if you, like me, get a little overwhelmed by goals in the first place. I find breaking down my goals into manageable, easy pieces to be the best way to, you know, convince myself to actually work on it! 

Step 1: Decide what I want to accomplish (aka, what's my goal really?) 

The first thing you need to decide is what you want you goal to be. In my example, what I want to accomplish is to finish Couch to 5K. That's a solid goal, except that it's maybe just a little too specific. Ultimately, my goal is to start running consistently in January. It's not as set-in-stone as specifically finishing a program. 

Step 2: What 3 things can I do to accomplish this goal? 

Once I have my goal in mind, I set myself to setting three deliberate tasks that I can focus on to accomplish this goal. It would be so easy if I could say, I want to run consistently this month; but there is so much else going on. In my example, my three things would be to set aside time every evening where my husband watches Forrest & I go running; prepping meals in advance to cut down on cooking time at dinner; and washing all my work out gear to ensure I'm ready to run. 

Step 3: What 3 things might hinder my progress? 

When I'm setting goals, I know things are going to hold me back. It's best to have an eye on those things before you get too far into a goal. In my example, three things that might hinder my progress are getting hurt, not eating enough calories (and therefore being too tired to run), and the weather (I refuse to run in the rain or if it's gotten too dark). 

Step 4: Set weekly tasks

Sometimes, when trying to accomplish something like running consistently (or cleaning my house, etc.), it's easier for me to break it down into smaller tasks or goals. In my example, my first weeks tasks might be to meal plan for the next month & prep small items (like portioning chicken and vegetables); and my second week tasks might be something like altering my routine to create more time for myself in the evenings. Basically, set a goal and then build up to that goal with smaller, more manageable tasks. 

Step 5: Write it all down

Listen, no one can remember everything. I'm a big fan of keeping calendars and checklists for myself. That's why I created the goal-setting printable for you to download! Just click the button below to check it out. 

My Personal Goals

Yesterday, I wrote about one of my most important personal goals for my 28th year: taking better care of myself, including allowing myself to want things. 

Just like with my blog goals, I find it easiest to break goals into small steps that I can follow one at a time. My typical process for doing this includes doing one thing a week. As an example, when I was pregnant, I set a goal to get dressed every day for a week; then I set a goal to shower every day for a week; and then I set a goal to do my make up every day for a week. I slowly build on my goals until I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. 

For my personal goals for the next year, that's what I'm doing. 

At work, we often do something that I find very helpful: you plan just 3-4 months at a time (usually a quarter); then in 6-8 weeks you reassess what's happened and what's coming up next and you make appropriate changes. I really like this process because, combined with my usual method of setting and achieving goals, it makes it really easy to stay on top of things. 

As with my blog goals, I want to share the next 3 months of goals. 

November

For November, my goal is to focus entirely on self-care and intuitive eating. I recently started listening to Food Psych by Christy Harrison (a podcast about eating disorders and intuitive eating) and I've found it really helpful in terms of dealing with my anxiety and food issues, as well as body image. For November, my goal is to do one self-care process a week--and really focus on it. These include journaling, quiet reading time, alone time (going shopping or out to a meal on my own), and incorporating exercise into my daily life. 

December

My goal for December, as promised, builds on my goal for November: I want to focus on staying active, maintaining my mental health, and focus on intuitive eating. As the holidays approach, I can sometimes get overwhelmed and retreat into my feelings of anxiety. This year, my strict goal is going to be to continue to allow myself alone time, but to also say yes to all social obligations (unless childcare arrangements cannot be made). This last part is very important as I'm a pretty well known social flake! My main goal is to attend one social function a week. 

January

For January, I want to start taking steps to improve my anxiety through improving the appearance of my home. I've written before about how my house is messy, by my standards. (Most people tell me my house looks "cozy": not pristine, but not a disaster. To me, it's a disaster.) In January, I want to focus on deep cleaning one space per weekend, focusing especially on my office and bedroom. This goal will definitely improve my self-care goals and feelings of anxiety. 

How do you set personal goals? Share with me on Twitter!