I Tried Hilma So You Don't Have To

Do you get chronic head tension? Do you take a lot of Excedrin Migraine?

Are you me?

I know I’m not alone in having head tension; it’s an incredibly common issue and it can be triggered by long stretches at your computer (guilty), carrying tension in your shoulders (guilty), and stress (also guilty). It goes without saying, but head tension can ruin your day. If I don’t take care of mine (by lying with a heating pad, taking some Excedrin, or relaxing for a while), it can rapidly morph into a migraine… which is exactly what happened to me last weekend.

It’s been a long time since I was so excited to try (and review) a product. But when Hilma approached me in July about trying some of their products, I was really, really excited. Why? Because even though Excedrin Migraine works for my head tension, I don’t exactly love taking it as much as I do. There is definitely a warning on that bottle about only taking a dose every 24 hours and while I never test that, it does make me nervous. Having a natural alternative, or something that I could take to help prevent head tension (or stiff shoulders, or whatever) would make me a lot happier.

That’s where Hilma comes in.

What is Hilma?

Like many people, over the last few years, I’ve started swapping out my cleaning products in my house. Nontoxic soaps, all natural cleaners. They keep everything just as clean without worrying about what you’re leaving behind—especially if you have kids.

The creators of Hilma found themselves doing the same thing and realized there was space in our medicine cabinets for more natural remedies. Here’s a brief summary from their website:

“We needed a NEW STANDARD for getting back on our feet.

When we looked for the products we wanted, we found that the natural options weren’t backed by science. And the products backed by science didn’t hold up to our clean label standards.

That’s when we decided to create the standard we were looking for — NATURAL REMEDIES, BACKED BY SCIENCE.

And now, after two years of research, assembling a world-class team of scientists, and kicking off three clinical studies, Hilma is here.”

(You can read more here.)

Think of Hilma as an alternative to your medicine cabinet staples, made with all natural ingredients that are also backed by science.

I’m always a little suspicious of medical products that claim to be all natural and effective. Often because those things are a little woo-y and ultimately act as placebos. (I’m looking at you, essential oils.) However, the thing I love about Hilma is their dedication to science, funding studies to show the effectiveness of their products, and really looking to improve people’s health without the worry.

I would classify most of Hilma’s products as both treatments and preventatives. You, like me, can take Tension Relief in the morning along with your vitamins (Ritual, in my case). Or, if you find yourself feeling some head tension or stress in your shoulders, you can take it at that moment. It’s an either or situation: preventative or treat.

That doesn’t mean your traditional products won’t have a place in your medicine cabinet anymore, but rather that you have some things to try before turning to the big things.

One more great thing about Hilma: their products are free from milk, egg, soy, and tree nuts, which means if you have an allergy to those (checking in with a soy allergy here!), you can rest a little easier about your medicine cabinet.

What products have I tried?

Here’s a review of everything I’ve tried from Hilma so far.

Immune Support

This is the first product I tried and wow, it’s good. It’s a powdered supplement intended to boost your immune system; it contains Zinc, Vitamin C (Camu Camu), Echinacea, Ginger, and more. You can add it to hot or cold water, or mix it into smoothies, popsicles, whatever you want really. It tastes great plain (hot is best! It’s almost like a turmeric tea). When it comes to immune support, it’s always hard to say “this helped!” or “this didn’t!” but the most important thing is do I feel like I’m supporting my immune system here? Yes, definitely. In college, I basically drank Emergen-C (bought in a huge package at Costco, natch) by the gallon to keep myself from getting sick. Immune Support is an alternative to that: just as much vitamin C, but without all the… extra.

Upset Stomach Relief

Danny has stomach problems—always has and always will. We go through a lot of Tums in our house. Like a lot of Tums. We have the traditional Tums chewables (those chalky ones that I also lived on when I was pregnant), the new chewy kind that have fancy flavors like Peppermint and Lemonade, Rolaids, Pepto-Bismal. We have a lot of upset stomach medicines in our medicine cabinet.

It goes without saying I was really hoping that the Upset Stomach Relief would work for Danny as something he could take in the morning every day and not have to eat so many Tums, Rolaids, and other things throughout the day. At first, he took this just when he started not feeling good. A few hours later, he said, “that really worked. I feel so much better and I haven’t taken any Tums.”

Honestly, if that’s not success, I don’t know what is.

I have also tried the Upset Stomach Relief—after a barbecue in the hot sun where I ate a burger and a hot dog and ice cream because, it’s a BBQ, what am I supposed to do? It helped so much that I was almost a little shocked.

Upset Stomach relief contains Chamomile, Artichoke Leaf, Ginger Root and more and is designed to help acid indigestion, heartburn, and upset stomach.

Tension Relief

Tension Relief is my favorite product. If you can’t tell, it was the inspiration for my intro today. Head tension is something I’ve struggled with for years and I know it’s because I often find myself shaped fully like a shrimp while sitting at my desk. I carry all my stress in my shoulders. When I go to the chiropractor, he always says, “Your top vertebra has just decided not to come to work today.” This is not uncommon for women my age who work jobs like mine (at a desk, in front of a computer, typing 85% of the day).

Like I said, I take a lot of Excedrin Migraine, but I know that ibuprofen is simply not good for my stomach. It’s just not! If you take too much, you’re in serious danger and I don’t like thinking about that too much.

I was so excited to try Tension Relief. I’ve been taking it every single day since I received it; I usually just take one capsule in the morning alongside my vitamins and then, if I need a second later in the day, I’ll take it. I’ve definitely noticed less head tension. There are somedays where I still will get a tension headache, but I think that’s just kind of the way it is sometimes. Even with Excedrin Migraine, there are days where it doesn’t come close to touching my head tension.

If you get chronic tension headaches, I think this is the one product you should order immediately. The others are good, but this one is so good.

Tension Relief contains  White Willow Bark, Magnesium, Boswellia, Feverfew, and Skullcap, ingredients that are proven to help relieve tension.

Want to try Hilma?

I think you’re going to love it. You can use my code at checkout to get 20% off your first order!

Disclaimer: links throughout this post are affiliate links. Using these helps me keep the lights on here at Writing Between Pauses. You can learn more about my disclosure policy here.

Freebie: My Checklist for Daily Organization

I’m so excited to be sharing the last installment of my Let’s Get Organized series. Organization is not about perfection; it’s about having the tools and systems in place to make your life easier, whenever you need it. If you’d like to see May-June’s series on Daily Routines, click here. If you’d like to read the previous posts in the Let’s Get Organized series, click here.

Today’s post is going to be short-and-sweet. I feel like I’ve shared everything I can about creating an organization system that works for you and just you. To reiterate, here’s what to focus on:

• Small spaces first, and then larger.

• Focus on the issue that is keeping that space disorganized (such as too many papers, not having the right storage system, etc) and not the aesthetics.

• Small, daily organization works better than every-6-month-organization-spree.

On that last note, I have a daily organization checklist I’ve been using to help clean up my spaces.

Every week, I print a fresh copy, write out my to do items for keeping my newly organized spaces, well, organized, and then pop it on the fridge to remind me. Here are a few examples of my daily organization items:

• Sort and file new mail.

• Shred any papers in my office that I don’t need.

• Clear kitchen counters and put away clutter.

• Load, run, and empty dishwasher and dish strainer.

I really hope this checklist will be helpful to you as you try to become more organized!

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What's On My Daily Routine Checklist?

Welcome to my new series all about routines. While developing my own routine over the last few weeks of stay-at-home orders and quarantine, I’ve found myself writing down notes about developing my routine, working from home, having kids, keeping self-care in my day, and staying sane! I wanted to share some of this information with you, to help you succeed and feel more rested, recharged, and productive. You’ll be able to check out all the posts from this series here.

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A quick note before we begin: I took some time this week to halt my own content in order to give myself space to listen and learn. Like many other white people, and specifically white bloggers, I want to always make sure I’m doing my best to support my BIPOC peers and making space for them to feel heard. In terms of my blog, I am still working on what that means. Pivoting my content in the last year from primarily beauty to career, lifestyle, and more has been challenging—but I know in many ways I need to acknowledge the difficulty not just of mothers in finding and creating their careers, but the difficulty of BIPOC in their careers, specifically in regards to racism, discrimination, and harassment in the workplace. I never want to speak for BIPOC and so, I’m still working on listening and learning and better understanding how I can incorporate this reality into my content in a way that is respectful and honest, without speaking over those who need to be heard.

Thank you again for reading!

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What a week it has been! Since my last post on routines, I feel like the world took another hard (but necessary) pivot. If you felt stressed and overwhelmed this past week, I hope you were able to take time to show yourself kindness while also doing hard work.

It’s difficult to jump back into writing about routines when so many of our lives has been disrupted, again. Whether you are protesting or staying home (to protect those who are immunocompromised in your household), we have all had things to grapple with this week. As time moves on, we will find our routines again. I hope these posts remain helpful and timely even then.

In an ideal world, our daily routines create the backbones of our day, giving us time for both our work and ourselves. Routines are by no mean a hard schedule—as I’ve discussed before. (You can read my entire post about crafting your daily routine here.) I want you to think of your daily routine as a few guiding activities that build your day, allowing you to feel good throughout the day and do the hard work that is necessary for you, your family, and your community.

Today’s blog post is all about creating a daily routine checklist—and specifically, what’s on my checklist.

When it comes to my daily routine, I typically divide my day into 3 parts: morning, afternoon, and evening. That’s pretty basic. I have 2-3 things in each part of my day that are part of my routine and I tend to work my entire schedule around them.

Here’s my full daily routine checklist:

Typically, the first 3 items are my immediate morning routine: I check my email, I journal or do one page of a 52 Lists book, and then I make breakfast with Forrest. After that, I dive into work and/or take Forrest to my mom’s house so I can have a few hours of work time. Then, I hit #4: checking my daily schedule and reviewing my planner for tasks. As I get emails (or spot them in the morning), I usually take notes in a notebook and write out any tasks in my planner. I review this once a day to get an idea of everything I need to accomplish during the day.

Then, I work.

After lunch, I usually have an hour or 2 with Forrest and make time for a few more parts of my routine: watering my plants and taking Remus on a walk (usually with Forrest as well). These are non-work related tasks, but an important part of my day. After that, Forrest has TV time and I usually review my planner and to do list again and tackle any tasks that need done.

In the evening, I always make time to read for 20 minutes or more, usually in the bathtub. Then, I review my Clockify, making sure I’ve logged all my time and assigned it to the correct client. Without this last bit, I think I’d be a total mess.

That’s it! My daily routine checklist is relatively short, but it helps me really get a handle on my day, my goals, and what I need to achieve.

Now, let’s talk about how I put this routine together.

When you think about your routine, I want you to think about it in those same 3 chunks of your day: morning, afternoon, and evening. What things do you find yourself doing during those times? Do they work? Do they not?

Here’s my advice:

• What things do you need to do for work that will make your day easier?

• What can you do to make yourself feel good, mentally, emotionally, or physically, every single day?

• What can you do to start your day on a positive note?

I made a free daily routine checklist builder for you that in it, I help you narrow down your daily routine by having you choose from the following 3 categories:

• Basics (a few simple ways to start your day)

• Work routine

• Things that make you happy

This isn’t meant to be “you can only have these things in your routine!” These are just suggestions if you’re new to having a routine and especially if you’re new to keeping track of your routine day-to-day.

This is how I started putting my routine together: I combined the things that make me feel most energized in the morning (checking my email while drinking my coffee, journaling, and having breakfast) with things that keep me on track for work (checking Clockify and frequently reviewing my planner) and things that make me feel good (spending time with Forrest, taking a walk, and reading).

You can grab your free daily routine checklist builder by signing up for my newsletter!

Thank you again for reading! Let me know how my daily routine checklist builder helps you—or what you’d like to see included in it!

I Tried Winc Wine Club So You Don't Have To

There has been a lot of talk about wine for the last 2 months.

Honestly, I think we can all agree that wine jokes and wine culture have probably hit an all-time high. I wasn’t paying much attention to wine before I had Forrest and to be honest, I haven’t ever paid much attention to wine. I’m not a drinker; I find alcohol to be way too expensive and boring when I could be drinking a Diet Coke. But over time, I have found myself enjoying wine more and more.

When Oregon’s stay-at-home orders were announced, I decided to place my first Winc wine order. I knew I was going to need some way to relax and have fun—plus, I felt like I needed something to focus my energy on and wine seemed like a great outlet, to be honest.

I’ve been hearing about Winc via one of my favorite podcasts—Wine and Crime—for 3 years now, so it was probably time I took the plunge. Let’s talk about what Winc wine club is and how it works.

(Pst, you can sign up for Winc using this link for $22 off your order.)

What is Winc Wine Club?

Winc is an online wine club that is based on your personal palate. When you sign up, you take a quiz that matches you with a few ideal wines for you. You place your order and Winc delivers your wine to your door. Easy peasy.

Well, sort of. The way Winc works is that every month, you are charged $49.99 for “credits” that can be used towards wine. If you only want to order 1 or 2 bottles that month, that is taken out of the credits you’ve already bought. But if you decide to order more, then you’re charged the extra beyond the credits you’ve already bought. It’s a little confusing, especially because the amount per bottle varies greatly—some wines are $12.99 per bottle, some are $34.99.

Enrolling in the wine club aspect gets you a better price on the wine per bottle, however, so while it doesn’t make a ton of sense, there is a method to the madness. I do think the process needs clarified and I expressed that to Winc’s customer service when I was deeply confused as to wtf the credits were.

They primarily offer California wines and some unique varietals and vineyards that are really, really good. I personally love the selection, that is large without being overwhelming. Let’s talk more about my experience.

My Experience with Winc Wine Club

When I first signed up for Winc, I used a code from my favorite podcast—which meant that I got $20 off my first box. Amazing. I ordered 6 bottles, of course. As well, if you order over 4 bottles, your shipping is free—which makes it kind of worth it to order 4 or more bottles, rather than just 1 or 2.

When I took the quiz, Winc paired me with primarily white wines—slightly sweeter white blends, roses, and single varietal whites, like Riesling. This is pretty in line with my preferences anyway, but I’ve been excited to try out some of the other options on Winc.

Thus, welcome to my biggest issue with Winc: stuff sells out fast. I had 4 additional bottles picked out for my May 9 “credit payment”—but by the time the 9th rolled around and it was time for me to check out, the wines I’d picked were all sold out. I was bummed, as there was a red wine I wanted to try bad. (I did manage to grab a bottle of the Summer Water rose that everyone raves about from Winc!)

Aside from that, I’ve enjoyed most of the wines I’ve gotten from Winc. It’s a fairly good deal. For $60 this month month, I got 4 bottles of wine—that evens out to about $15 a bottle, which is about what I’d pay for my favorite wine from the grocery store anyway. It’s delivered to your door, which makes it easy. (As a note, you do have to show ID to sign for your order; they won’t just leave it at your doorstep. This was a little annoying for me, as my May order got somewhat lost by FedEx for a few days, then showed up randomly when I was in the middle of a full-scale preschooler breakdown and I also wasn’t wearing a bra.)

Is Winc Wine Club Worth It?

But is it worth it? This is the big question is it. Let’s break this down into pros and cons:

Pros:

• Wine delivered to your door.

• Exclusive wines that support smaller wineries that you won’t find anywhere else.

• Wide selection that isn’t so vast you get overwhelmed and tired looking at it.

• Fun quiz to help pick your first wines.

• Free shipping when you order 4 bottles.

• Referral system that lets you earn extra bottles of wine.

Cons:

• The credit system is a little confusing.

• The price of wines varies enough that the credits you pay for won’t ever equal out to a certain number of wines.

There you have it. The biggest drawback for me is the credit system; if that was clearer, it would make more sense. I wish instead of the credits being a money system, it was like you paid $49.99 a month and got to pick 3 bottles of wine with free shipping. That makes more sense to me, but that’s just me. (Hint, hint, Winc!)

Winc is still relatively a new company, so I expect them to work that credit system out eventually. It takes trial and error sometimes!

Would you like to try Winc wine? You can use my referral code here and get $22 off on your first order. (As a note, this is simply a referral link I have as a customer—not an affiliate link!)

Have you tried Winc? What do you think?

What My Self-Care Routine Looks Like Right Now

“I think I’ve been waiting for this my entire life,” I told my therapist almost two weeks ago.

I’m always waiting for the disaster a little bit. For the bad thing to happen. At every single job I’ve ever had, I’ve waited to be fired. “One day,” I would tell everyone, “they’ll just notice that I don’t know what I’m doing and they’ll fire me.” I’m always waiting for the big snowstorm, the power outage, the car accident. I’m always waiting for something to go wrong somehow. I await chaos at every moment—so when chaos erupts, I actually feel really calm and collected. I stop panicking.

I experienced this after I got laid off in July. I remember telling my therapist how energized I felt, how it felt like I’d been waiting for the shoe to drop for years. We talked then about what this meant, how to prepare for the inevitable comedown.

When I went to my therapist appointment two weeks ago on Wednesday, freshly sanitizing and ready to stay 6 feet away from my therapist, I again felt more calm than I had in ages. We talked about the same thing then: right now, I feel calm because this feels like something I was prepared for… but eventually, it going to wear off.

I’m not saying this to say, “look at me! I was prepared!” I wasn’t totally prepared. While I’m always on the edge of my seat, waiting for the big bad… I didn’t think it would be this. I’m not happy about it. That’s for sure.

I left my last therapy appointment having no idea when I’ll be able to go back to therapy. However, my therapist offered to do virtual or phone sessions, so that’s good to know. At the time, we just didn’t know what would stay open and essential and what wouldn’t. I instead left with a plan to establish a really strict self-care routine that would hopefully carry me through this weeks and prepare me for the ultimate moment when staying home 24/7 with two other people would become too much.

It seems like it might be helpful to share what I’m doing and how I’m keeping my routine in place. I even made a handy printable for you, if you want to start putting a self-care routine in place.

Self-Care versus Self-Soothing

I’m obviously not a mental health professional. However, my therapist has always divided my self-care routine into two separate spheres: self-care (that is, regimented things that help me to improve my mental health and create boundaries) and self-soothing (that is, activities that make me feel better on bad days.

Here are some examples. For me, a self-care item is: is keeping a routine for my day (wake up, make coffee, write in my journal for 20 minutes). A self-soothing item is: doing an Aztec clay face mask at the end of the day.

Does that make sense? Good. Let’s jump into how I structure my routine.

My Self-Care Routine

My routine is ultimately ruled by Forrest’s routine. I knew I was going to have to give him some structure immediately. When Oregon schools announced they were closed until March 31, and then, April 28, I knew that in order to survive, he needed a schedule.

I drew something up that day. It looks something like this:

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

That’s just the morning. Here’s how my schedule fits in:

• 6:00am - I wake up, get dressed, wash my face, make coffee, journal, and then work until Forrest wakes up

• 7:30am - wake up, get dressed, go through what day it is

• 8:00am - breakfast

• 8:30am - TV time (Let’s Go Luna and Daniel Tiger on TV)

• During TV time, I catch up on work and do any chores, such as washing dishes or putting dinner in the crock pot.

• 10:00am - Lesson 1

• 10:15am - Lesson 2

• 10:30am - Quiet Play Time

• During quiet time, I usually try to either take a shower, work, or catch up on laundry/chores.

• 11:30am - Lunch

• 12:00pm - Outside time. We usually go on an hour+ walk or hike; this is good for me too!

• 1:30pm - Lesson 3

• 1:45pm - Lesson 4

• 2:00pm - Quiet Play Time

• During Quiet Play Time, I work.

• 3:30pm - Help mom with dinner

• 4:30pm - Dinner time

• 5:30pm - Family time

• 6:30pm - Quiet Play Time

• This is self-soothing time. I usually lie in bed and play Animal Crossing, read a book, do a face mask, whatever.

• 8:00pm - Bedtime

• After bedtime, I usually go through my to do list and see what I missed, transfer it to the next day, and make a game plan for what to hit during the day. I try to be in bed by 10pm, but sometimes that stretches to 11 or so.

Whew! I know that’s a lot of information. But I want to show you how my day fits into the schedule I’ve created for Forrest. His lessons aren’t full lessons; we usually read a book and do a worksheet or activity, paint a picture, or learn a song. (You can learn more about the resources I used for these lesson plans here.)

I try to hit a few big self-care routine pieces everyday:

• Having a routine immediately upon waking up that helps me feel energized.

• Giving myself time to work and get chores done as I need to (those quiet play times have helped a lot! Forrest’s room is a mess, but who cares).

• Taking at least an hour for myself in the evening to just relax and do something I really enjoy.

I know for many people, the idea of doing this with kids seems super challenging. Here’s the truth: Forrest interrupts me a lot. But we’ve been talking to him lately about a few things:

• When a door is closed, you knock and ask if it’s ok to come in. if the answer is no, then the answer is no.

• When I’m working, I need to work. The less interruptions, the sooner I can make an egg carton tree with him.

During this time, it’s all about survival. It’s ok if a schedule like this won’t work for you. I want you to have the tools you need to create a routine that works for you and if my routine helps you, then that’s great. If not, that’s ok too! However, if you are working from home for the first time, it is important to establish boundaries, if you have kids or a partner, that will help you get your work done and not feel totally overwhelmed. If you need work from home tips, here are mine.

I have also been trying to work in time to meditate each day—or at least sit, without a screen in front of me or a book or my journal or something, and just think and breathe. I really like this guide to beginning meditation.

I also created a handy-dandy printable for you to outline your own self-routine schedule. This is formatted by a checklist and includes a gratitude section; you can use it for daily journaling or just as a one-off. However you use it, I’d love to see it! You can use the hashtag #thisweeksgoldstar on Instagram.

I hope it helps you! I’m always here to chat. This is a tough time, but if we lean on each other, we’ll all be held up. Stay safe, stay home, and stay healthy!

8 Empowering iPhone Wallpapers to Download Right Now

About a week ago, I posted a graphic on Instagram thatI’d whipped up late one night. I loved it almost immediately, and it was totally a fluke. I didn’t set out to make it! Using a bunch of free Canva elements, I made a few more to post on Instagram. Just fun, slightly cheesy quotes about being exceptional.

I know these kind of quotes aren’t super popular with certain crowds. However, in the last few months, I’ve started writing down and saving simple mantras that make me feel empowered. I’ve included a few of them in these wallpapers because I find them so helpful.

Seeing these mantras every single day has helped me stay on track. Therefore, iPhone wallpapers feels like a perfect option. I had such a great response to that Instagram post that I decided wallpapers was the next step. I turned those Instagram graphics into wallpapers and voila! Here they are, ready for you to download.

To download, please use the subscribe form below to sign up for my newsletter list! You’ll receive a confirmation email shortly to confirm your subscription that includes a link to download all 8 wallpapers.

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(If you have any issues with this, or don’t receive an email, don’t hesitate to reach out to me on Instagram or Twitter!)

If you use these wallpapers, feel free to tag me on Twitter or Instagram, and use the hashtag #thisweeksgoldstar on Instagram!

5 Steps for Thanksgiving Prep (+ Free Checklists!)

Preparing for Thanksgiving, whether you are hosting yourself, getting ready to travel to family, or just doing a Friendsgiving, always feels like a huge task. Thanksgiving is a big deal for a lot of people. As much as I love Christmas, I hold a special place in my heart for Thanksgiving—and everything that comes with it. I love Thanksgiving food; I love picking Thanksgiving outfits; and I love getting to spend time with family members I don’t get to see as often as I like.

That being said, Thanksgiving can be super stressful. If you’re traveling, you have a million and 1 things to remember; add in kids and it becomes easily 5 million and 10 things to remember. If you run your own business, if you are working full time, if you’re pregnant… stress on top of stress on top of possible toxic family relationships that can leave us exhausted and needing TLC… instead of refreshed.

This year, I want you to promise me that you will make sure to treat yourself with kindness and love at Thanksgiving. It can be a time of stress for lots of people, along with a disruption in routine. If you’re feeling low, make sure to treat yourself to some self-care and self-soothing activities so you can be rested and recharged.

1. Stock up on supplies in advance

Know you’re going to need like 5 bags of potatoes for your world famous mashed potatoes? Buy them now! Or buy 1 bag per week until you’ve got enough.

Know you’re going to need special activities for your toddler for a flight? Buy them now!

Get what you know you’ll need in advance, before it can 1) sell out or 2) stress you out. The closer we get to Thanksgiving, the more hectic the grocery store will be. I always do my best to avoid grocery stores the week of Thanksgiving; if I urgently need something, I try to replace it with something I do have and I try to have everything I’ll need plenty in advance.

Make a big list of everything you might need and go get it this weekend or during next week.

2. Make a list (and check it twice)

To repeat: make a list. I’ve included at the bottom of this post a PDF of my Thanksgiving checklists I made for myself! I also included some self-care and self-soothing checklists, as well as customizable options if you want to write in your own ideas. Make your lists, keep them close, and find comfort in knowing that, no matter how stressful this season is, you have options to make yourself feel better and reduce that stress.

Here’s a sneak peak of one of these lists:

3. Have self-care in place

For many people, Thanksgiving can bring up reminders of past behaviors that aren’t healthy or happy. Many of us have good Thanksgiving memories, but for me personally, Thanksgiving can be triggering for some of my more negative body-focused behaviors, such as restricting or working out excessively. If this is something you struggle with, make sure you have self-care routines in place to stay healthy. And remember: you can always remove yourself from a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Here are a few suggestions for Thanksgiving self-care:

• Make sure to have your medication if you are traveling & take it according to your prescription.

• Ask a few friends to be on standby if you need someone to talk to. You can also ask your therapist if they have a phone number you can call if you need extra help or if you can email or text them.

• You don’t have to venture into your hometown and respond to every person you remember from your past. It’s ok to walk away.

• Practice breathing exercises in advance to calm your heart rate and help yourself stay calm in situations that might trigger you.

4. Add self-soothing to your routine

Self-soothing is a part of self-care. Sometimes, the media mistakes self-soothing routines as self-care, but the truth is, self-care often is unpleasant and doesn’t feel good. Self-care is going to therapy (which can be emotionally exhausting), whereas self-soothing is a behavior you do afterwards to feel better, like journaling, listening to music, or taking a bath.

As Thanksgiving approaches, if you struggle with the season, make sure to not just have your self-care routine in place (for both home and travel), but self-soothing techniques. Here are a few suggestions:

• If you’re traveling, take along a book you love to read and make sure you have music or podcasts that make you feel good to listen to.

• Have plenty of self-soothing supplies on hand like bubble bath, bath bombs, and scented lotion.

• Give yourself time to self-sooth as part of each day of the holiday. Taking 10-15 minutes every evening to do something to sooth yourself will make a huge difference.

• Download a sound machine app on your phone for soothing sounds to help you sleep or play while you journal, meditate, or practice breathing exercises.

5. Remember that perfection isn’t necessary

No holiday, no day, will ever be perfect. I think we all know that. If you forget a critical part of the meal, no one is going to really care that much. Just say, “oops, I forgot!” It’s not the end of the world. It’s easier to say that than to live it, I totally get it. That’s why I recommend practicing some deep breathing exercises beforehand.

Here’s a breathing exercise I like:

• Breathe in and imagine you are filling a pitcher at your sink. Let it fill all the way to the top.

• Breathe out and imagine you are pouring the pitcher of water down the drain. Pour it all the way out.

That one is my favorite because I like to imagine the sound of the water. You can also find lots of great apps on your smartphone that help with breathing and meditation.

Do you feel ready for Thanksgiving? I’m getting excited, but also nervous. If you’re feeling like me, I hope you grab these free checklists—I know I’m already using mine to get ready!

How to Plan the Perfect Christmas & Stay Organized

Repeat after me: there is no such thing as a perfect Christmas.

Your Christmas might not look like a Hallmark movie (and good gravy, wouldn’t we all love an ornately decorated Victorian farmhouse mansion to cover in garland?). Your Christmas might not even look like the one from the Santa Clause.

Whatever Christmas you love, that’s the perfect Christmas for you.

For me, Christmas is this: the tree lit, watching movies on the couch with Danny, Forrest, and Remus, fresh cookies in the kitchen, a candle lit and smelling like either 1) cinnamon or 2) pine trees. That’s Christmas. When I was younger, Christmas was making sugar cookies with my mom, watching the old, classic claymation movies on TV with my brother, and waking up at 3am to open presents (and try to make as little noise as possible with my brother). Christmas every year can be something different, but I want to put the disclaimer here that, there is no perfect Christmas; there is no prescriptive Christmas.

If your Christmas a little Christmas tree with rainbow fairy lights and a Netflix binge on your laptop, then baby, godspeed.

No matter what your Christmas is, I want you to have the most perfect one possible.

For the last two months, I’ve been working on a Christmas planner for myself. I’m planning to make a BUNCH of embroidery projects for my friends & family this year, and organizing everything was starting to become… a lot. I had lists upon lists of thread numbers, patterns, fabric I needed to buy, hoop sizes… it was a lot. I was tired. So I started mocking up a gift planner sheet where I could record everything I needed.

Then, I started working on a planner for my decorations, to start cataloguing everything I had and figuring out if we would need to buy more lights (aka which of ours died during the year they were in storage). From there, I started making all kinds of parts to this personal planner: bucket lists, shopping lists, cookie backing lists, a memories sheet to add to my scrapbook. I showed it to Danny once I had it printed and he said: “are you going to share this on your blog?”

It hadn’t even occurred to me to share it, but I started digging around on Pinterest and there are some Christmas planners out there… but so many of them put the onus on gifts and buying and planning out your Black Friday. That’s not something I’m super interested; I just needed one place to keep my lists, keep a running tab on my embroidery projects (and who I’ve gotten a gift for and who I haven’t, so I don’t have to crawl under the Christmas tree to check), and maybe write down a few important memories.

I thought: why wouldn’t other people enjoy this?

So here it is: the Christmas planner of your dreams. It includes:

• 3 pages of gift lists to record who has a gift & who needs a gift (plus a notes section for any details, such as crafting supplies). This is perfect if you like making gifts, like I do!

• A decoration planner to record what you have where. Keeping track of decorations always feels like a chore. Come February, I end up realizing I’ve had bits of decor still up, with everything else packed away.

• A shopping list for home, work & school, and “misc” to help keep you organized when it comes to remembering if you need more flour or powdered sugar for those super important sugar cookies.

• A bucket list to keep track of movies that you must watch, activities that make your Christmas (trip to the Christmas tree farm, anyone?), cookies that you love to make, and more.

• A memories page to record the best things that happened, everything you did, and your memories of Christmas day right away. This page also includes a section of things to remember for next year, like that your kiddo loved a specific movie or song!

• A page just for Christmas Eve & Day to write down your plans. This page actually has two sections for Christmas eve because I found I needed much more room than was available! But you can use the second section for notes or Boxing Day!

I keep mine in a folder on my desk, but I plan to laminate the pages once Christmas is over to save in our family binder. You can keep yours loose leaf if you want, put them in a binder, cut them up to stick in your planner—whatever works!

I hope you love this planner as much as I do. To download, click the button below—it will take you to a separate landing page, but don’t worry! Your planner is well within reach.

Thanks for reading & happy holidays! If you’d like more planners like this one, let me know in the comments!