3 Ways to Help Relieve Tension

One of my biggest pet peeves is feeling tension. It’s a feeling I absolutely can’t stand. Whenever I start to feel tense, or a tension headache starting, it’s almost unbearable. It’s not that it hurts physically—but I just find it so annoying. “Why are my shoulders doing this? I don’t have time! Shoulders, chill!”

For a few days, I started getting a sharp, dull pain almost like heartburn. I was reading a book that I found pretty upsetting—My Dark Vanessa for anyone who is curious—and realized after 3 days of wondering if I was having a heart attack or what that I only felt this feeling while reading the book. It was a mixture of tension and anxiety. All I had to do was… just stop reading the book. More than anything, I found this discovery deeply annoying; thanks body, I can’t even read a book!

That being said, there are ways to relieve tension that can help you, like me, stop feeling so annoyed that you’re getting another tension headache (it can’t possible be that I stare at a screen 14 hours a day). And no, I don’t mean diffusing a certain essential oil scent (although that can feel nice and if you love it, you love it, no shade).

A few weeks ago, I realized that I needed to start taking steps to tackle my tension before it became a full blown tension headache or migraine. I tend to feel my tension in my shoulders and across my chest/collarbone area—usually after a few hours working in front of my computers or particularly when I’m doing a task I find really stressful. I’ve found a few solid ways to do just that and I thought I’d share.

Here are my top 3 ways to relieve tension.

1. Use Hilma Tension Relief.

I unabashedly love Hilma products. I even wrote a whole review about Hilma. Hilma’s Tension Relief is one of my favorite products because it does just that: relieves tension. It helps get rid of those annoying tense shoulders, the eye strain, everything. After a long day in front of a computer, it’s become part of my routine to take a Tension Relief, run a warm bath, and settle in with a good book. You can try Hilma’s Tension Relief for 20% off your first order by using my code MICHELLE20.

2. Take a screen break.

Are these the words you want to hear? No.

Are these the words I want to hear? Also no.

I love screens. There, I said it. I love them! I love staring at the bright blue light of my tiny phone. I love reading on my computer. I love my Kindle even. I love my Switch and my TV. I love them all! I love screens!

But screens aren’t good for our eyes. And they definitely aren’t good for handling tension either, especially if you’re feeling overly stressed. If you start feeling tension in your shoulders (or whatever your sign of tension is—tightness in your chest, a back ache, your legs itching to move), take a break from the screen(s). Go for a walk. Go sit outside with a real, physical book. Talk to your neighbor through a window. Dance in your kitchen to music. Just take a break—it doesn’t have to be a long one, just 20-25 miuntes or so.

3. Do some stretches or yoga.

I’ll be the first to tell you: I hate yoga. I get so bored during it. My attention span is low and when it comes to exercise, I want to move. That being said, yoga is one of the best ways to stretch, focus on your breathing, and (yes) relieve tension. Finding a simple routine that works for you will take time. I gave up on following videos a long time ago, but I do have a series of moves I do in my office when I’m feeling particularly wound up. It gives me time to think, breathe, and focus on something other than a screen.

I don’t have any recommendations for routines to follow because I think this is highly personal. Even just sitting outside and gently stretching like you used to before PE class might be better than anything else!

3 Ways to Reduce Stress While Working From Home

Working from home is a different kind of stressful, isn’t it? I've never been a huge fan of working in an office--I like being alone and I'm very easily distracted.

But working from home isn’t exactly a cakewalk, either. It can be lonely and you can easily get distracted by other parts of your home (like that pile of laundry that has refused to fold itself for 2 days or the kitchen that needs a good cleaning). Plus, if you are also taking care of children and trying to work, it’s a whole other ball game.

Today, I want to talk about reducing stress while you’re trying to work from home effectively. This isn’t necessarily self-care, but it is related. Reducing your stress now will help reduce burnout later (or… right now); it will also help you feel less like you’re about to go off the rails at any moment. (Trust me, I’ve been there. Recently.)

If you’d like to read more self-care posts, click here to read more!

Reducing stress is different from person-to-person—so we aren’t going to focus on simple stuff. Some people might be soothed by essential oils; others might find them aggravating. This is going to be a bit more high level than “buy a diffuser” or “do your self-care routine!” Right now, I just don’t personally find stuff like that especially helpful if I’m trying to find methods to make myself feel less like a boiling kettle.

I hope these tips help you moving forward. And if you need a friendly ear, I’m always here to listen!

1. Get it all out: journal every day (even for 5 minutes).

A few days ago, I was having a rough day. I had multiple deadlines and a very cranky 4-year-old who was feeling ignored, isolated, and sad. To get paid as a freelancer, I have to meet my deadlines—but as a parent, I also felt like I couldn’t let Forrest down. I sat at the kitchen table while he colored and wrote in my journal for 10 minutes. I wrote down everything I was feeling: totally overwhelmed, guilty for wishing schools would just freaking open already (I know, I know), exhausted, guilty for being a mom who couldn’t interact with Forrest as much as I wanted, anxious that my home was a mess and I had every single laundry basket we own full of laundry to fold… the list goes on.

After the 10 minutes was up, I gave Forrest a big hug and a kiss and told him I needed to work. He felt better and I felt better. I hit all my deadlines.

Those 10 minutes of just getting the feelings out was worth it.

Here’s the thing: journaling might not be your thing. (Although, if you’re feeling frequently anxious or stressed, a journal is a great idea.) But there are lots of ways to just get the emotions out. You can sing along to a favorite old emo song. Call a friend to vent to. Let it out in the group text. Whatever works for you, talking about what’s going on can help so much.

2. Make it easy: find a routine that works for you.

Working from home is hard. And sometimes, reading all the tips in the world to work from home won’t help.

You need a routine and, specifically, you need one just for you. That’s why I’ve been writing a series of posts about routines; you can read them all here.

Here are a few of my suggestions to reduce stress in your routine:

• Schedule in breaks.

• Stagger your tasks. Mix harder, more mentally straining tasks with easier, simpler tasks.

• Make your environment happy for you. This is a big one: you can have the best routine in the world, but if the space you’re in makes you crazy, then it won’t help at all. You might not have the space for your own office, but setting aside a corner in your bedroom or dining room to make just yours will make a huge difference.

• Make sure you meet all your needs. That includes movement, time alone, time with others, time to relax, meals, coffee breaks… you can’t work 24/7 and never meet your basic needs. You simply can’t.

3. Make it simple: shed the tasks that aren’t serving you.

When you’re working in an office, there are sometimes tasks that you do that are so easy, you barely blink an eye. However, once things change, there may be tasks you need to talk to your work about to let them know: this doesn’t work, this won’t work, and I can’t keep doing it.

Here’s an example: I have a client who has a really roundabout process for completing tasks. In normal times, it would be no big deal, but right now, the chain of command has broken down so much, people are harder to reach, that it’s just impossible. Trying to chase down people to complete tasks was becoming a huge pain—so I let the client know, hey, this is driving me crazy, can we simplify this? And we did! Now, I don’t have to spend 2-3 hours every day trying to get in touch with people to pass on a document.

If something isn’t serving you or the people you work for… then change it. Make it easier. If you can’t reduce the stress, then try to remove it. Find a way to make it simpler for you to reduce the clutter of your day.

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Do you have any tips for reducing stress while working from home?

I do want to share a few things I do during the day that help me a lot that are more specific. Here are a few ways I take a break (both before and during quarantine!) while working from home:

• Do 10 minutes of step aerobics while watching TV.

• Listen to a podcast while I make a cup of tea.

• Sit outside with Remus.

• Water my flowers outside.

• Work on organizing my planner.

• Read a few articles on Buzzfeed or scroll my favorite Twitter accounts.

Thanks for reading!

4 Simple Stress Relief Tips

I’d like to think I’m a beacon of zen, stress-free living... except that I am really, truly not. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m a horribly anxious person. I twirl my hair, bite my nails, jiggle my legs, fidget, and generally act like a personified ball of stress about 75% of my life. If I ever have a moment of 100% stress-free time, I immediately begin to wonder if I’m forgetting something to be stressed about. 

That being said, a mom has taught me that I have to find ways to deal with my stress... other than comfort eating. So here are my 4 super simple tips for relieving stress, whether you’re pregnant or not. 

1. Go for a walk or a drive. 

Sometimes, when I’m in the thick of serious stress or anxiety, I just need to leave. I need to get out of the house, stop crying, stop talking about what’s bothering me. I just need to get out of it. Usually, I will head over to my mom’s, but sometimes, I’ll just go for a drive. Other times, I’ll walk around the grocery store or the park. I always go back home feeling a little better about the situation. More than anything, by going to a public place, it gives me time to think over the problem (or whatever is bothering me) and find a solution without resorting to insane tears. 

2. Read, write, or cut up magazines. 

Do something with your hands! Anything! I’m a fidgeter, by nature, and if I occupy my hands, I effectively occupy my brain. You can read a book or a magazine, or just tear your favorite pictures out for future scrapbooking. You can write in a journal or notebook, draft a blog post, or send a message to someone you haven’t talked to in ages. There is lots you can do to take your mind off your anxiety. 

3. Invest in a coloring book. 

And I don’t mean a little kid coloring book! I recently purchased The Secret Garden and it totally changed my life. Whenever I’m feeling particularly stressed out (by all the cleaning I need to do, by the laundry that’s been sitting, clean and unfolded, in my bedroom for a week, by all the prep I need to do for baby), I spend 15-30 minutes coloring. 

4. Take a shower or a bath. 

Clean body, clean mind? Maybe. I find showers and baths incredibly relaxing. Typically, if I feel dirty (if I haven’t washed my hair or my face or shaved my legs), I find it very difficult to refocus my anxiety. Everything just feels wrong until I get cleaned up and smelling good! Plus, the shower is the perfect place to think, mull over your problems, and even cry... without messing up your make up. 

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Do you have something you always do to relieve stress? Share with me on Twitter!