4 More Lessons I Learned From NaNoWriMo in 2016

When I completed NaNoWriMo in 2014, I wrote a great post about lessons I learned. Reading through that list, I still identify with everything I wrote previously. It's funny, at the end, to see how excited I am for the next year--without knowing that in 3 months, I would be pregnant. It's weird looking back on statements like that and laughing at how much your life can change in a few months (isn't that what blogs are great for, though?). 

I thought I would revisit this post and share a few more lessons I've learned from NaNoWriMo--especially my first successful November as a parent! 

1. I have to prioritize where I put my energy.

I say this frequently, but when I get overwhelmed, I tend to shut down. In November, I often find myself pulled in a hundred different directions: I do NaNoWriMo; I'm working; I have Forrest; and I have an entire house to take care of. Personally, I find it very easy to just shut down and not really achieve anything in that time frame! 

However, I find that if I prioritize, I can get everything done without getting overwhelmed. But that also means, I have to let some things fall to the side. Notice how I barely blogged in November? Yeah, it was because I was trying to do NaNoWriMo, work my day job, and keep myself and a toddler alive. These things happen. C'est la vie! 

2. Get ahead while you can.

In previous NaNoWriMos, I've kept myself to a strict daily word count. I usually didn't write ahead more than 500 words or so. And each year, I've gotten behind and had to spend weekends catching up, which meant I got very quickly exhausted.  

I feel like this lesson is true of everything in life--not just NaNoWriMo. When you can, work ahead. For example, I have a cleaning schedule I try to keep: on Fridays, I tidy the entryway; on Saturdays, I clean the bathrooms, etc. However, if I'm feeling motivated, I'll clean the entryway and clean the bathrooms on the very same day. I know, living on the edge there! 

This year, I ended up writing my first 10,000 words for NaNoWriMo in the first few days. By November 15, I was 15,000 words from winning. I wrote ahead--I let myself write as often as I could without falling behind on my other responsibilities and it paid off. It helped that I was writing a story that I'd been thinking of for months, but having a buffer really made me more comfortable and I was able to write with joy, rather than stressing to stay on deadline. 

3. It's ok to think NaNoWriMo is stifling. 

As much as I love NaNoWriMo (and this being my 5th year completing, I do love it), I also inevitably start to wonder how, as a practice, it inhibits or improves my creativity. 

Ultimately, what we take away from NaNoWriMo is up to us--and it's ok to love it as an idea, but also ultimately believe it to be stifling. You don't have to follow the rules of NaNoWriMo to the letter; it's your novel and your life. Do what you want! 

However, you often see NaNoWriMo critics emerging in early November, talking about how NaNoWriMo is a time for "writer-wannabes" (ok) to emerge and dedicate one month of the year to writing. Not only is this a totally unfair statement which I've seen way too many supposedly professional writers state, it also ignores the point of NaNoWriMo. 

The point of NaNoWriMo isn't to be a professional writer and write your perfect dream novel in a month. NaNoWriMo is about empowering more people to write, to make time for writing and creativity, and to enjoy their lives. 

That's it! That's all that NaNoWriMo is about. 

It's ok to think it's stifling. It's ok to get to November 30 and think, "Well, that sucked." It's ok to feel like you wrote a crapper of a novel. (I have had that feeling many times myself.) But the most important thing is, if you completed a novel, you proved that you can write every day. Enough to pile up the words. And that's pretty monumental. 

4. When I read more, I write more. 

At the end of October, I signed up for Kindle Unlimited. Since then, I have read 46 books.

46 books. 

I know. It's actually kind of embarrassing. In that time, I have written more, and felt more creative, than ever before. I have started to realize that if I want to write--and I mean, really write in a way that is productive and meaningful--I have to keep my reading habit. Which, thanks to Kindle Unlimited, is totally possible. Even if I'm reading the most embarrassing, sappy romance novels of all time. 

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Did you participate in NaNoWriMo this year? What did you learn about yourself, about creativity, or about life in general?

Writing with a Toddler: How to Win NaNoWriMo & More

As another NaNoWriMo check in: I officially won NaNoWriMo on Thanksgiving Day!

I hit a small snag when I copied & pasted my 50,100 word novel into the NaNoWriMo validator and was told I'd only written 49,600 words. I copied and pasted again and, again, was told I'd written 49,800 words. Ok, so at least it went up. 

The word count validator was broken, NaNoWriMo.org didn't believe me on Twitter, and it was a huge pain. I wrote an additional 600 word scene, while screeching at my husband and homph-gomphing some extra coffee, and got validated, but I'm still mad. 

Why am I still mad? 

Because writing with a toddler is really, really hard. 

Writing 1600 extra words per day with a toddler is a challenge that I'm not entirely sure why I took on, but I did it. 

And I did it exactly 5 days before the deadline. 

I'm sorry, but I'm very impressed with myself right now. 

I'm somewhat less than impressed that I've blogged what? Five times in November alongside NaNoWriMo? That's a big oops, but in my defense, November has been quite the month, personally and socially, so it's to be expected. 

When it comes to writing with a toddler, I find myself constantly challenged. I'm creative all day at my day job and when I get home, I'm pretty much moving nonstop. I'm playing with Forrest; I'm making dinner; I'm cleaning as I go. It's hard to be creative when you're mentally and emotionally wiped out, that's for sure.

But when it comes to writing, I set a few rules for myself. 

1. I try to set aside 30-60 minutes every evening to write.

This might be when Forrest is spending time with Danny, post-dinner but pre-bedtime. Or this might be when Forrest is already asleep. If I have important chores to do (like vacuuming, laundry, or deep cleaning the kitchen), I put them off until later in the evening. I make myself write--whether it's for NaNoWriMo or work, my blog or in my journal--for at least 30 minutes. It just has to be done. 

During NaNoWriMo, by keeping this schedule, I really improved my word count. I also found that if I got Forrest to nap while I wore him in our Ergo, I could get a solid 45 minute (or more!) writing time in. It all adds up. 

2. Don't worry about writing when your toddler awake. 

Maybe it's just me, but I know myself and I know my child. I cannot get anything done with him during the day. I can lightly clean the kitchen, keep him fed and clean, and work on organizing downstairs. But the minute I try to sit down, he's all over me. If I'm on the couch with my laptop, he wants the laptop. If I'm at the kitchen counter with my laptop, he's standing at the gate crying because I'm not with him. If I try to write while I'm feeding him lunch, he's yelling because he needs all of my attention. That's how it is with toddlers. And really, I'd rather get him to repeat "all done" or play pattycake than write anyway. 

3. Give yourself a break.

You know what? There are some days where I just can't write. Where I'm just so tired (Forrest is teething or he refused to eat all day, or we had doctor's appointments, or whatever) that I can't do anything else. On those days, I curl up on the couch and watch the Simpsons, or I run a nice bath, grab my Kindle, and turn on my favorite podcast. And you know what? I don't beat myself up. It's ok! You can't get everything done! That's fine. Forgive yourself. 

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NaNoWriMo Halfway Check In: Why Did I Do This Again?

There is always this point in the month of November where, if anyone asks me how things are or how NaNoWriMo is going, I say something like, "I don't know why I get so excited about doing this every year! I hate it! I'm stressed out!" 

For the first 10 days of November, I was a writing machine. I wrote almost 20,000 words in those 10 days. I felt motivated. I felt powerful. I felt completely capable of kicking NaNoWriMo's butt. 

Then the election happened. 

The day of, I was too anxious to write. As time went on throughout the day, I knew I wasn't going to be able to hit my word count for the day, so it was good I had written up a pretty strong buffer to keep myself from falling behind. 

The next day, however, my motivation was zapped. It felt so pointless. It was the same with my blog. I didn't write hardly anything for two days. I mostly sat and read and thought about stuff. I retweeted things on Twitter. I did the bare minimum in terms of writing. 

I hit a slump pretty badly last week and a lot of it had to do with the social and political upheaval that was going on. 

Another part of it had to do with the fact that I just get so tired. Every single year it happens: around 13 or 14 days in, I just get tired: of writing the same thing, of keeping the same schedule, of pushing myself. Mentally, I end up exhausted by writing so much. It sounds great to write 1500+ words per day--actually, it sounds totally easy. But I also work at a creative job where I write every day too. Writing blog posts, social media, and emails for work, then going home and writing blogs and social media for myself, and then sitting down to write a chapter of a novel? 

Not ideal, creatively. 

However, I think I'm finally on the other side of it. 

Yesterday, I posted a tweet about how I had no motivation to blog. I got responses from three of my favorite people on Twitter saying, essentially, the same thing: you don't have to write every day, you don't have to blog every day, but it's worth it to do so. 

It felt really good to be validated (and to know that people missed my blog!). It also felt really motivating to know that, yes, other people feel in a slump because of the election too; they feel like maybe it's a little pointless to do these things now. 

But another part of me thinks it's more important ever to write--and to write the stories that I, as a woman, want to read. Our world is changing and I'm not 100% sure it's for the better, but the more I use my voice, the better I will feel. Maybe it's pointless--who knows?--but it feels better to keep doing it. 

Then I find myself thinking things like this: The story I'm writing for NaNoWriMo is definitely not life-changing. It's a true crime story centered around 3 best friends in 1970s New Jersey. It's kind of dumb, very self-indulgent, and ultimately just something I had been thinking about for months. 

I write sentences like that and then I think, "But Michelle, you're using your voice to talk about women, to talk about victims, to tell a story that hasn't really been told before." 

OK, self-indulgent. That's fine. But I wouldn't be writing something if it didn't matter, right? 

These are the things I work through every NaNoWriMo, but this is the first time I've ever written about it. Even though I write near constantly and blog all the time as well, I'm very insecure about my writing; I don't like other people reading my writing and I don't really enjoy talking about it. Sometimes people are actually surprised to learn I write both fiction and poetry because I tend to just not mention it. 

As of last night, I had written 35,000 words. I'm 15,000 words away from winning NaNoWriMo which means I can effectively calm down. Last year, I only got to 20,000 words through the entire month of November. That's a huge improvement in terms of "writing after having a baby," at least in my mind. 

And if nothing else, I can at least say, "2016 didn't totally suck. I wrote a novel."

If you'd like to follow my progress on NaNoWriMo (or just want to chat about your NaNo progress), I post occasional updates on Instagram. You can follow me here. 

My Top 5 Writing Tips

Yesterday, I shared my NaNoWriMo prep process. Today, I thought I'd share some tips I have for writing in general--that is, everything from beating writer's block to staying focused. 

I have a typical writing output of about 2,000+ words per day, including tweets, emails, blog posts, and all my day job writing. When I look at it purely as numbers, it feels so incredibly huge: I remember struggling through 2,000 word papers in college and now I consistently write that much in a day... and then I repeat it the next day. 

I have a very specific way I like to write and very rarely does that actually align with what I would consider the "romantic view" of writing. I'm not cuddled up on a rainy evening with a perfect cup of coffee and a lit candle; I'm usually wearing Forrest, who is asleep, listening to his white noise play for the 901st time OR I'm hurriedly trying to get everything done in the one hour my husband has to watch Forrest after work. 

What I'm saying is: I've gotten a lot of writing done in the last two years. Here are my tips for writing more, writing better, and writing in a way that's enjoyable. 

1. Write in the same place(s). 

A long time ago, I used to write wherever: in the library, on my couch, at my desk, in bed, in the kitchen. Wherever! No more. That's just not possible now. I have too many distractions if I'm anywhere other than where I write. Unless I'm on vacation, I write in one of two places: at my desk at home or at my desk at work. That's it. For my best work, I have to write in one of those two places. 

2. Change something, sometime. 

As much as my first tip stands, I also should say: sometimes, if you're in a rut, you need to change something. For example, this past weekend, I was getting my desk cleaned up and ready for NaNoWriMo and I decided, "it's time for a change." I moved my computer to face a different direction, rearranged my notebooks and pens, and basically changed how I look at my computer, desk, and window. Sometimes, to get inspired, you just need to have a slightly different view, so don't be afraid to change things up--whether that means rearranging your desk, drinking a different kind of "writing drink" (tea instead of coffee? water instead of soda?), or just finding a new desk chair. 

3. Comfort yourself. 

I'm a big baby and sometimes writing, especially during NaNoWriMo when I may be writing emotionally difficult scenes, can make me really anxious and upset. That means I need to take a lot of care to make sure I'm physically comfortable, should I start getting anxious during my writing process. I keep a heating pad and a heater next to my desk, as well as candles and aromatherapy oils. I also make sure to take lots of breaks, especially when I'm feeling stressed out about writing. 

4. Know everything (within reason).

When I was in college, I took a writing workshop where my professor suggested a writing exercise where you list the contents of your main character's trash can. I loved doing it because I love list making and it's something I still do for every NaNoWriMo novel character I write: I make a list of what's in their kitchen trash can. It sounds weird, right? It kind of is. But it goes with the idea that you should know everything about your character, even if you aren't going to include it in your writing. You should know 100 little facts about your main character, but you don't have to include all of those little facts. I keep a list of character writing exercises handy during NaNoWriMo to help me get through any bumps in the road when it comes to characterization.   

5. Take notes.

In this increasingly digital age, I still find a lot of value in taking notes. As in, really taking notes: picking a notebook and writing things down with a pen on paper. I know, it's crazy talk. I handwrite most of my notes and outlines for all my writing--from NaNoWriMo to social media and blog posts. I keep bullet journals for all these notes. I find that writing things down, as they happen, as I think of them, helps me to better remember them and stay on track. Give it a try! 

How I'm Prepping for NaNoWriMo

I love NaNoWriMo. I've attempted to participate the last several years--and I've won at least 3 times, if I remember correctly. Not last year, though. Last year, I had a newborn, a pumping schedule, and all kinds of new responsibilities and stresses. I just couldn't do it! But this year, I really feel like I'm ready. 

Every year, I do the same things to get ready. Want to know what they are? Here's my process: 

Step 1: Pick a topic

Every year, I pick something I want to write about. One year, I wanted to write about a female marathon runner; the next year, I wanted to write about farming communities. I picked an idea, something I was interested in at the time, and ran with it. This year, I'm really into 1950s carnivals and circus culture. So guess what my topic is? 

Step 2: Write an outline

Ok, so I've read some arguments that outlines miiiight be cheating at NaNoWriMo? But I disagree. I feel like if you don't know where you're going as you write, you're going to write yourself into a corner eventually--and that can let writers block take over. My logic is that I don't always know 100% of how my story is going to go--but I have at least 5 scenes per chapter outlined that I need to include to drive the plot forward, reach the climax, and ultimately resolve. That's it! I don't outline much; I outline just enough that if I start feeling bored or directionless, I can steer my novel back to the original plotline. 

Step 3: Make a schedule

I like schedules, obviously, and I love outlines, also obviously. The years I've won at NaNoWriMo, I keep a very strict schedule about my writing: on work days, I write for a set period of time; on non-work days, I write for a set period of time; and on weekends, I write for a set period of time. i don't let myself deviate from it... or else, I fall behind. The hardest time is Thanksgiving, obviously, so I usually try to write well in advance for that. Basically: pick when and where you're going to write and stick with it. 

Step 4: Succeed!

Ultimately, success is where you find it: even if you don't "win" NaNoWriMo, but you write 30,000 words of a novel you've been meaning to write for ages... that's still a major achievement! Success is all about what happens after November. Do you just drop the novel and stop writing for another year? Do you start edits? Do you write consistently, according for your schedule, for another six months? Last year, I succeeded because I was able to write something while taking care of a tiny new human. This year, I want to succeed while taking care of a grumpy toddler. Even if I don't hit 50,000 words, if I write even a little bit, that's a win for me! 

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo? Tell me about your novel! 

What Does Being Petite Really Mean?

For as long as I could remember, I thought of the term "petite," as least when it was applied to body size, as meaning "short." Short sizes. Small inseam lengths. That kind of thing. When my mom and sister shopped in the petite section, it was to try to find pants they didn't have to hem. It did not, in my mind, mean that the sizes were teeny tiny. 

A few years ago, I encountered a very strange argument on Instagram regarding the introduction of new Anthropologie petite sizes. Firstly, I don't shop at Anthropologie; I cannot justify a $70 pillow or a $200+ cotton dress, I just can't. And secondly, Instagram arguments are weird and petty and always kind of funny.

The drama on the Anthropologie issue started over people leaving comments that seemed to be a little, well, thin-hating. Obviously, bodyshaming of any variety is not ok. However, I started to think: wait, what? The line is a line of smaller sizes or shorter lengths?

Basically: are they just making smaller clothes or are they making a petites line, like the petites sections that have long existed in department stores like Macy's or JCPenny's? Have we officially confused the English language so much that we have multiple different definitions of "petite"? 

As it turns out, the line is for women 5'3" and under. From what I can tell on the website, the clothes aren't necessarily smaller (except for length) and come in almost all conventional sizes. That's pretty awesome. But it made me wonder: why did the post about it on Instagram devolve into arguments about sizes (and by that I mean number sizes, not inseams), including quite a few comments that could be read as a bit thin-hating? 

I decided to google what petite meant Interesting. "Having a small and attractively dainty build." Stop, Google, you're making me blush. But seriously, is petite about being physically teeny, as in both short and extremely thin?

I have a dainty build (re: small bone structure), but some sizable fleshy parts of my body. I'm 5'2" and wear a size 8 regularly, yet I still often find myself being called the smallest person in the room (even though I know a ton of people who are smaller than me, physically, if not height-wise). Further definitions included: "small, slender, and trim; used for girls and women; a clothing size for short, slender women." Thanks, Free Online Dictionary. 

Another unhelpful, but maybe helpful, fact is this: the number of blogs dedicated to fashion for "petite" women is astonishing. I started reading through a few and I found myself getting, well, uncomfortable. The purpose of these blogs is ultimately noble and good-intentioned, but I found myself feeling a little weirded out by the constant description of their super small bodies, their need to only buy children's clothes or to search out specifically "narrow fit" boots. Some of the women who run these blogs are also not very short in stature; they just happen to be very, very thin. So, that's what petite means to some fashion blogs. 

I always thought to be petite, you just had to be short. And as far as I can tell, short people come in lots of different clothes sizes, including plus-sized. There is a disparity between what clothing producers mean when they say "petite" and what people think when they say "petite"--in fact, I think it's two different things. I think when Anthropologie posted about a new "petite" line, some people immediately thought: "clothes for skinny people." Because, apparently, that's the main definition of the word petite. 

However, when you look up Petite Size on Wikipedia, it mentions that conventional clothing sizes in the United States are designed to fit a woman who is over 5'5" (which is insanity, no wonder none of my pants fit) and so petites lines and entire store sections emerged as a place for women under 5'3" to buy clothing. And that clothing came in a variety of conventional sizes with the wonderful P added to indicate they were just cut differently. That's pretty awesome for ladies of the short variety (like me). However, now we have other definitions of petite popping up: thin or not-thin, short or not-short. 

Can we just have all words mean the same thing, ok? Thanks, English Language. 

This reminds me overwhelmingly of the use of the word "curvy": some people mean one thing when they say it, some people mean another thing when they say it, and sometimes people aren't being necessarily nice when they say it, which is pretty sucky of them. All kinds of arguments and anger can spring up when someone uses the word "curvy". I distinctly remember referring to myself as "curvy" once in college and the person I was talking with immediately consoled me, saying, "You aren't fat! Don't say that!" Except that wasn't what I meant by curvy, but ok. 

So, the real question is: are petites sections in department stores lies? What gives? 

It turns out, it's not. There are two meanings to the word petite and unfortunately, that gets confusing most of the time. Some people will claim that petites sections in stores cut their sizes about 1-1.5 sizes smaller (so a size 8 in a petites isn't really a size 8), but that doesn't make sense and isn't really true. I find I'm the same size in petites sections as I am in regular sections, everything is just shorter (and let's be real, frumpier, because apparently department stores think all people under 5'3" are 85 years and older).

Basically, what this all boils down to is this: words are just words and you shouldn't get up in arms about them, or upset about them, unless they are used intentionally to upset you (then you should totally get your cranky face on). A chain store creating a line of petites clothes wasn't meant to offend anything; it was meant to create clothes for shorties, because sometimes it is hard to find clothes in a world where all clothes are cut for people 5'5"+. Getting cranky about a store creating a line of petites -- or plus sizes or whatever -- might be personally offensive to you if, I don't know, you really dislike short people, but it's not meant to be and so... cool it and stuff, seriously. Once a "well, I don't personally like that" turns into a "I'm gonna leave hate comment on Instagram," you've magically transformed into a jerk. Congratulations!

I Worked with a Murderer (& This is What I Learned)

Because of the type of person I am (a true crime buff), I followed the disappearance closely when it first happened. A woman (we'll call her S) went missing at the beginning of December, 2013. She had been in Cottage Grove (my hometown) for Thanksgiving to visit friends and family and then had planned to return home to Beaverton. Sometime between Thanksgiving and December 2, she disappeared. Her family reported her missing, scared for her safety due to her health problems. 

I remember November and December 2013 very clearly: I was working at a job I hated, totally miserable; and those two months were two of the coldest I can remember in a long time. It was in the negatives every single night and barely got above freezing during the day. Those kind of temperatures are abnormal for Oregon. 

When they found S, she was discovered not far from where I live, on a piece of BLM property. She had been shot. Not long after, an ex-boyfriend who she had visited in Cottage Grove was arrested. For a long time, that was the last I read about the case. It seemed pretty simple, an open-and-shut, sadly way too common kind of case. 

Fast forward a few months. I had started a new job, it was early Summer, and as I walked into the office, I glanced at the newspaper on the front counter. Staring back at me wasn't just any face: it was a face I recognized. 

It was the ex-boyfriend who killed S. Where on Earth have I seen him before? I read his name over and over again, but I just couldn't remember. His face was so familiar. I was sure I knew him, but I couldn't place him. It was the worst feeling. 

I went about my day and read up on the case. I read about the trial, about how the ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend testified about his behavior after their break up (this also rang as very familiar, but I couldn't place it), about how he had been found guilty, about how he had tried to claim self-defense, about how he had hid S's body in his house for weeks thanks to the abnormal temperature and how the cops even visited his house while she was still there. 

As I drove home, I kept thinking about it. 

Then, it hit me. 

Figaro's Pizza. I had worked with him at Figaro's Pizza. 

We'll call him M. The minute I remembered, the minute my mind connected him to Figaro's, it all came back to me. I knew his ex-girlfriend who testified at the trial. I knew M. I had worked with him, hours and hours and hours, in high school. We had talked hundreds of hours, complained about the same things, laughed at the same jokes. 

I immediately texted Danny. "That's crazy," he replied. What an unsatisfactory answer. 

The true crime lover in me (I do listen to My Favorite Murder, Casefile, and In Sight an embarrassing amount) was thrilled I had worked with someone connected to a murder case; however, another part of me felt really, really repulsed. 

It's strange to look back at part of my life and see it in a totally different light. There was no way for me to know, at the age of 17, that one of my coworkers, a grown adult, in his 40s then, was going to go on to murder a defenseless woman. But for whatever reason, that knowledge now changes how I see everything during my life at that first job. 

Working with M was not like working with the boogeyman. I would easily describe him as strange, as a little off, but then, I am a little weird myself. Who am I to judge? He also seemed very kind and, to be quite honest, a little slow. Sometimes, he showed up to work in a really strange mood, talking strangely. My coworkers and I chalked this up to drug use, but we could never really be sure. 

I shiver now thinking about the number of times I closed the pizza place with him. We would lock the doors at 10:30 pm and walk to our cars in the dark. I am terrified of the dark--it's one of my biggest fears--and so, this walk was often the worst part of my day. Looking back, I feel like my memory of the fear is amplified now that I know what I know. 

Sometimes, as a true crime buff, it's easy to mentally distance myself from things that happen: these are just stories, I think, and it can be easy to dehumanize, to not remember that behind these stories are real people--with friends, family, children, dreams, and paths they no longer get to pursue. It can be challenging to remember the reality: that both sides, victim and perpetrator, had and have lives away from the crime. 

I found myself, for a while, feeling guilty for feeling sympathy for M: I felt like a line in the sand had been drawn and that I had to accept that the person I knew was not the person I thought I knew. But the truth is, it's possible to feel both: it's possible to simultaneously be horrified by something someone did and to remember them as a decent human. Good people can do terrible things and it's ok to miss them, to feel sympathy for them, to question why they did it. 

I'm turning this over to you. Have you ever had something like this happen to you? 

Living with Bad Internet

"So, have you seen 'Stranger Things'?" my coworker asked me. I stared at her, wondering if it was an appropriate time to launch into my well-worn speech about the Internet. 

Here's the thing: I don't use Netflix. I don't want YouTube videos except at work. I don't watch Hulu. I only listen to Spotify when I'm driving. I don't download music. 

I don't have good Internet. It's truly the tragedy of my life. 

Ok, actually, I should clarify. I do have good Internet in that it is very fast. I don't have good Internet in that I have a data limit. 15gb, in fact. The average movie on Netflix uses about 3 or 4gb to stream. So, we don't watch videos; we limit photo uploads and downloads; we don't use wifi on our phones. 

Living with bad Internet--that is, Internet that operates on a data plan--is extremely stressful. I pay an insane amount of money every month for the Internet we have and I can barely use it. Blogging stresses me out because each moment I spend writing a blog post, each time I upload the wrong photo or have to redo my graphic on Canva... I stress out. If I use an extra amount of data, I know it will bite us in the butt at the end of our billing cycle. 

I take extreme measures to prevent unnecessary data expenditures: I use AdBlock purely to prevent auto-playing video ads (the worst, they are my nemesis). I also have a Google Chrome extension that stops news website videos from auto-playing (another nemesis). I have to turn on settings in Facebook and Twitter to prevent auto-playing videos. Same with Instagram. 

It sounds incredibly whiny to say "it's hard to have to do these things." But as someone who works primarily on the Internet (even at work), it is really stressful. I try not to work from home because I end up using so much data simply because of Slack and email and sitting on a computer for 8 hours straight. I try to do all my blogging at work on my lunch break or after I'm done with work. I schedule my weekly Twitter updates at work or on my phone while I'm walking through the grocery store. 

However, there are some benefits. Danny and I spend a lot of time together, reading or writing (our wifi turned off on our computers). I bullet journal every night. I take baths. After I get my work done (as quickly as I can) and bills paid (again, as quickly as I can), I cook and clean and meal prep... and then I have time to spend with Danny or go walking or work out. 

Sometimes I get frustrated that I miss out on some major cultural happenings--like 'Stranger Things' or other Netflix and Internet trends--but on the other hand, I also feel like I can more effectively read books and connect to the "real" world. I might not be able to chat about 'Stranger Things'--in fact, I might have to stare blankly at a new coworker as I explain, again, that I don't use Netflix, because I can't, because I don't have good Internet--but I can tell you about the last 10 books I read, the story I'm working on, or the podcast I am listening to right now.