The Handy-Dandy Guide to Owning a Home

Owning a home is no-joke. It's takes a routinely exhausting amount of work. From basic monthly tasks to serious upkeep, getting a handle on it all can be overwhelming. Danny and I are always forgetting to do something--and then days, weeks, or, um, months later, we'll remember and feel quite dumb. And often, that feeling of "quite dumb" is associated with some kind of repair because we forgot to, say, take the hoses off the outside hose bibs and it ruptured a pipe, causing the entryway to flood. (Yes, that happened.) 

We are not perfect home owners, that's for sure. We forget things; we mess up; and there are some things we just don't know until we mess up. Here are a few tips-and-tricks for those brand-new-homeowners who need a little leg up (and who can definitely learn from our mistakes). 

1. Weather-proofing is real. 

Remember that little anecdote about removing the hoses from the hose bibs? It honestly never occurred to me that you're not supposed to leave a hose attached. I mean, I can use a hose year-round, right? Yes, you can--but because of how most outdoor hose bibs and faucets work, the metal portion of a hose freezing can cause an interior pipe to rupture. Which won't be a huge deal until you try to use that hose and it floods underneath your house--and whatever room that hose bib shares a wall with. It can be a pretty expensive fix, so take my advice: weather-proof your house. Remove hoses from hose bibs and move them inside to keep the hoses from cracking; take down any patio furniture and outdoor decorations; and wrap any exposed pipes and faucets with pool noodles and duct tape to keep them from freezing. You'll thank me when you aren't paying a $500 plumbing bill. 

2. Keep a recurring calendar of bi-annual and annual events. 

Another task Danny and I routinely forget: changing the air filter in our heating and cooling system. It's supposed to be changed every 6 months and for the first 2 years, Danny and I kept it up like clockwork. Then I had a baby and I realized, with a shock, two weeks ago that we hadn't changed the air filter in at least 8 months, but probably longer. Recurring tasks like this I now keep on a calendar in my phone that sends me reminders of things I need to do, from changing the air filters to defrosting our freezers every year. 

3. Improvements happen a little at a time.

I occasionally get it in my head that I'm going to transform my home into a Pinterest-worthy exhibition home in one weekend. Guess what, guys? It's not going to happen. Danny and I have a goal of doing one thing every weekend: spraying the yard for weeds; sweeping the driveway and porch; putting up or taking down decorations; or painting. We don't overwhelm ourselves and do one thing at a time. I'm a big fan of this method because it helps me appreciate each task as I'm doing it. If I can fit more in, I do try; but otherwise, I take it slow. 

4. It's ok if it isn't perfect. 

My kitchen doesn't have a pantry, so I turned a hallway closet into a pantry. It's kind of weird because it's right next to the bathroom, but it could be worse. Our house is not perfect: all of our furniture is hand-me-downs, including all of our bookshelves and rugs, and excluding our kitchen table which I bought for about $100; we have dings on the walls and spots that have needed repainting for years; and I still haven't painted the banister in our house. It's ok for things to be left undone until you get a moment. No need to torture yourself. You'll get there. 

5. Mistakes happen.

Danny and I have done some truly stupid things regarding taking care of our home. We've let things go, we've forgotten to leave water running leading to frozen pipes, and we've forgotten to do pretty basic tasks. You make mistakes! You live, you learn. While they can be expensive mistakes, it's nothing worth beating yourself up over. No one has a perfect home and at first, no one is a perfect home owner. 

Is it Possible to Lose Weight & Still Be Body Positive?

I've written before about how I had a (very elaborate) fantasy about how easy losing weight would be postpartum. I truly imagined that I would shrink down to nothing, due to my breastfeeding and activity and going walking 2 weeks postpartum! None of those things happened, hilariously enough. I did manage to give birth to a 6-pound baby and an impressive 6-pound placenta, and then managed to pee out about 10 additional pounds of water. 

Yes, water. For two weeks after Forrest was born, I would wake up just soaked in sweat. The horrible part was that, of course, I was barely sleeping, but I knew if I fell asleep for even an hour, I would wake up completely and totally soaked. That's what postpartum life is like: everything hurts and you start sweating out all the extra liquid you saved up over 9 months for your joints and body. And in my case, I had been VERY swollen. 

After that, things stopped. I didn't lose any more weight, mainly because I couldn't think about it. Alongside taking care of Forrest, pumping, and eating whatever I could to keep my milk supply up (cheesecake? Tried it), I didn't really care. Then, around 12 weeks postpartum, I cared. I suddenly, crushingly cared. 

I also still care. I told Danny the other day that I know I have pretty severe body dysmorphia issues and I'm never 100% confident that what I see in the mirror or in photos is what I actually look like. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh I'm not that big! It's not so bad! But then I'll see, say, a family photo and I'll think, I've transformed into a small whale. I am baby Beluga. Under the sea, where I should be. 

I have absolutely no idea which one is accurate. Am I huge? Am I chubby but otherwise normal looking? Am I slowly engulfing the planet? No idea. 

My body image issues aren't helped by the fact that I align myself, wholeheartedly, with body positivity. It's so easy for me to look at my mom friends and say, "You're gorgeous. Never change. You are the most beautiful woman on the planet." And of course, it's easy for them to say it in return. It's harder to say it to ourselves, to look in the mirror and say, "You look great, even if you're not [insert desired size here.]" 

I feel very torn with the idea of trying to be body positive, but also being aware that I desperately want to be a different size. It's all well and good to preach body positivity until I'm tearing myself down, privately and painfully, for being a size that, generally speaking, some people would kill to be. 

I've been losing weight recently (I have no idea how much and for the sake of my mental health, I don't actually weigh myself--but the people around me assure me that I do, indeed, look smaller) and wondering if losing weight negates all the body positivity work I've done in the past few years. 

It's difficult to think what changing my body says to other people. But, living as an overweight person the last two years, especially while pregnant, did a number on my self-esteem... not that my self-esteem was that great to begin with. The way people treat me, ignore me, act like I am taking up space that I'm not allowed is incredibly difficult to live with--and, of course, I want to change it.

I don't want to change my body just to please other people; but I do want to lose weight to be taken more seriously in my job. Plus, I just want to feel better about myself: I hate getting dressed, I hate taking pictures. I don't take pictures with Forrest simply because I know what I look like. That's hard to wrestle with. 

With all that being said, I hate that I've allowed myself to feel that I should change just because of how other people treat me (and how I perceive they see me.) I don't think anyone should lose weight or change their appearance to make other people happy. If it makes them happy, sure, go for it--but not other people. 

And even though I tell Danny that I just want to be able to wear the clothes I want, to be able to shop anywhere and feel confident and not like the sales associates can't wait to get me out of there, I also want to lose weight so people are nicer to me. I don't want to be called a fat ass while crossing the street anymore (a real thing that happened, yes.)

I also don't want to have a teenager point at me, during the middle of my next pregnancy, and say, "You think that's pregnant? That's just fat." (Yes, another real thing that happened.) I'm tired of being made to feel inconsequential because of others. I just want to be taken seriously.

I just want to be seen as the hard worker I am--and, by and large, most people see overweight people as stupid and lazy, a fact that could not be further from the truth for a vast majority of the population. 

I try my hardest, every day, to be body positive. I have lost friends over calling them out for negative comments, calling others "fat" (as a clear insult), or trying to make others feel bad about their bodies. I try to treat myself with love and kindness. It's hard to lose weight, but I don't want to lose my ability to treat all bodies positively in the process. 

That just means I have to work at it a little bit harder than everyone else. 

5 No-Nonsense Tips for Planning Your Wedding

This post originally appeared on my old blog, Ellipsis. A revisit was in order, especially as I'm not 3 years past my wedding! 

If I could go back in time, I would plan my wedding differently. Not that the day itself wasn't awesome: it was. I would just do things different now! 

I hated planning my wedding. I really did. I wanted to let someone else deal with the flowers and the tables and the music and the ceremony. Let someone else figure out the schedule and who is in charge of what and the food and the choreography of people arriving and leaving and delivering things and setting up things. Let someone else do this. 

I say this fully realizing I chose to have a wedding and not just, you know, elope.

It didn't help that I was working full time and having a home built at the exact same time as planning a wedding. The lead up to my wedding was stressful and let me tell you, my wedding was pretty chill. There was no huge spectacle. Not a lot of travel. Not really that much to worry about. But I still worried about it.

There's a lot of wedding advice out there. I bought a wedding planning book, thinking it would be helpful, and instead found it weirdly outdated and frustrating. I didn't want a DJ. I would never have a sit-down, served dinner. I didn't want a first dance or an elaborate setup. I just wanted to be married. I just wanted to have a party with my family and friends. When I say there is a lot of wedding advice out there, what I really want to say is: there is a lot of stupid, bad wedding advice out there.

I mean look at this ultimate wedding planning list. I mean, booking portable toilets? A list of people to give toasts? (Shouldn't the list just be one or two people? How long do people want toasts to go on!?!) Creating a guest list database? Distribute welcome baskets!? Frankly, a lot of this stuff is very expensive and when it comes down to it, it is just one day. One day does not make or break a relationship and a wedding won't magically turn any relationship into a "marriage." A marriage is what you make of it and the wedding has absolutely nothing to do with that.

For that reason, here is my wedding planning advice. Take it or leave it, these are the ways to keep yourself from going into a wedding-induced stress-and-rage blackout.

1. Forget about everything you see on Pinterest. 

There are some really cute trendy things out there for weddings. If you love the ideas you see on Pinterest, pick something that really means something to you. For example, I had mason jar centerpieces at my wedding. Why? Because I've grown up canning with my mom and we have, literally, a billion mason jars. Why pay for vases when I have a billion mason jars for free? It's cute, it's trendy, and it reduced the cost of my arrangements.

If you think something is super cute, by all means go for it, but make it your own... don't just blindly copy and spend more money than you need to. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by hoping to copy someone else's wedding exactly: you'll look back regretting

2. It's a wedding. Not a photo shoot for a magazine spread.

It's not an editorial. It's your wedding. Stuff is going to go wrong. You aren't going to look perfect 100% of the time. And that's ok, because that's really the good stuff. The pictures where I am laughing with a double chin, waving my arms around, and taking photos with my phone are my favorite pictures from my wedding. Because, you know, screw it, I'm not a Vogue model; I don't want my wedding to be pin-worthy; and the point of a wedding should be to have fun, not to spend hours smoldering at a camera to try to capture the "perfect" picture.

3. If it doesn't matter to you, don't spend time on.

There were a lot of things, when it came to wedding planning, that I just didn't care about. Picking a wedding color? Changed my mind a bunch of times and ultimately didn't care. Picking bridesmaids? Didn't care. There were a lot of things I just really didn't care about and so, I just didn't bother with them. When it came to my colors, I decided to focus on a detail that I liked and let the colors come from that. I love daffodils and daffodils were a big theme of my wedding. For the other stuff, I just decided, it's my day, no code of conduct can dictate what I want this day to be.

If, while planning your wedding, you encounter things that you literally just do not care about, then leave it. And really listen to yourself. Just because everyone has a full dinner at their wedding doesn't mean you have to. Just because everyone expects you to have bridesmaids doesn't mean you have to. Just because everyone wears a white dress doesn't mean you have to. Even if your family wants you to do something, even if everyone thinks you're crazy, if you can't bring yourself to care very much about something, just don't do it. It is not worth the aggravation and stress.

One more time: You don't have to do anything in your wedding just because everyone expects it! It's just a day for you and the person you love most!

4. This is your day... and your partner's.

 I think a lot of people get wrapped up in the idea that it's just the bride's day. This isn't entirely true as it's a day where you are marrying someone. Hopefully, that someone is involved!

I shared almost every detail with my husband & got his opinion -- from food to colors and flowers, to my dress to his outfit, and everything in between. We incorporated a traditional Celtic ritual into the ceremony on his request. What he wanted to wear wasn't originally what I had planned, but he was the one wearing it... so obviously, he got say in that!

This isn't just a day for a bride. It's a day for both of you. I think we all get wrapped up in the cliche that every girl dreams of their wedding day -- but as a personal anecdote, I didn't. Being pretty shy in real life, a whole day dedicated to me freaked me out. Involve the person you're marrying. Trust me, it will be better that way; it's a partnership, after all!

5. Have fun. 

Please, even if everything seems to go wrong: have fun.

And things will go wrong. I showed up to my wedding & was told that the sound system I needed to use for my ceremony system didn't actually go to the area where my wedding was. I improvised with a small iPod speaker. Could everyone hear it? Not really. Did it make me panic? Yes. Did it ruin my wedding? No. At this point, no one probably even remembers the music. 

At the end of the day, a wedding is just a big party. Enjoy yourself! Stop stressing! If the cake falls over, if your iPod breaks that morning, if your hair gets blown to shreds by a gust of wind... who cares? You're still marrying the love your life. That's the reward. At the end of the day, that's all it's about. Take a few deep breaths, laugh, and move on from any tiny disappointment. It's not the end of the world.

Do you have any tips for planning your wedding?

How to Keep A Clean Home (Without Cleaning All The Time)

I won't say I'm a paragon of cleaning. I'm really not. However, I do like to think that I keep my house at least "decent" through quick cleaning when I get the time. With a husband, a dog, and a small human, cleaning is sort of a fruitless endeavor: every evening I pick up the living room, put the alphabet mat back together, put the toys in the toybox... and they're all out again by 9am the next morning.

Being an adult means keeping a clean house--and it does wonders for your mental health and happiness. 

However, I have a few tried-and-true things I do every day to help my house stay presentable and save my sanity. 

1. Wipe down the kitchen counters every evening. 

We have an open plan home, so our living room is also our kitchen. If the kitchen is dirty, the living room, to me, feels dirty too. Before I go to bed every night, I take a few minutes to clear the kitchen counters and wipe them down with Lysol wipes. If I have a few minutes, I'll clear away clutter, put away any drying pots and pans in the sink, and wipe down the cabinet doors and knobs. But mostly, I just make sure the counters (and table) are clean!

2. Dust every Saturday. 

This one is actually quite easy, mainly because I can pretend that I'm playing with Forrest. I use a box of Swiffers to wipe down our bookshelves, TV and stand, and windows. It takes maybe 10-15 minutes and it makes a world of difference!

3. Keep living areas for living.

As much as I'd like my house to look like it popped right out of a copy of Marth Stewart Living, that's just not going to happen. I try to keep my downstairs clean and tidy--but when it comes to upstairs in our bedroom and office? I let it get a bit messy. It saves my sanity. I do my vacuuming, my de-cluttering... but I don't need those areas to be perfect. 

4. Keep bathrooms clean.

The number one thing that makes my whole house feel cleaner is clean bathrooms! Without a doubt, a dirty bathroom seems to spread through the whole house (at least in my opinion). Bathrooms are very easy to keep clean, especially if you clean them as you go. I wipe down the mirror and counters every day (or every other day) and Swiffer the floors every other day. Then, every Saturday, I scrub the toilet, wipe everything down with Lysol, and mop the floor. It's an instantly "ahhh, clean!" feeling. 

I Have Postpartum Depression

Let's set the scene. 3 weeks after Forrest was born. I sat in the reclining chair in my living room, holding this bundle of blanket and very small human. There were nipple pads shoved into my bra. My back hurt. I'd been up all night, pumping and feeding. Forrest cried, and cried, and cried. I sang to him. I sang every song I could think of. I hadn't left the house in over a week. Most days, the only time I moved was to get more coffee, grab a snack, or pump--otherwise, I sat on the couch, or in the chair, with Forrest. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. I wanted to be anywhere but there.

I loved Forrest with an intensity that bordered on obsessive: I worried about every little thing and recorded it, carefully, in an app that cost $5. But that love wasn't enough. The depths of my misery reached further into me. I wanted to both take care of him 24/7 and have someone else just offer to help me. I wasn't sleeping, period; at my 4 week appointment, my doctor would go through the calendar with me and count hours I had slept since the day I was induced. The number would be staggeringly low. So low, that when people tell me about "not sleeping" now, I want to dare them to wander into the danger zone of "so little sleep, you may actually die." 

Here's the lucky part of the story: because of Forrest's low birth weight and my preeclampsia, we went to the doctor near constantly. Forrest's pediatrician gave me these tests called "Edinburgh tests" that measured my likelihood of postpartum depression. My own OB was also monitoring me for PPD: women who give birth early, are unable to breastfeed, and have low birthweight babies are more likely, than other group, to develop PPD due to both hormonal and environmental factors. 

By our appointments at 4 weeks, I was diagnosed with PPD and started treatment. 

It's hard to describe now, because I feel like a completely different person. The circumstances around Forrest's birth, my sadness at not being able to breastfeed him, my severe sleep deprivation... it all added up to PPD.

I want to say that the minute I started treatment, I was a different person. But that's just not true. It took a lot of things to get me "feeling normal" again. It took treatment, which was hard and expensive and in many ways, unpleasant; it took letting go of breastfeeding and supplementing with formula, because it was the best thing for my mental health; it took going back to work, giving myself time away from Forrest and not feeling guilty about it. 

I started to feel better, more like my pre-labor & delivery self around 8 months postpartum. 8 months. It took almost 7 months of treatment and self-care to start feeling better, to stop snapping at Danny, to start cleaning my house again.

Sometimes, I will wander across an article about the rates of postpartum depression: who gets it and who doesn't. Sometimes, the comments, and the mom groups that post such articles, like to draw lines: bad moms get PPD and good moms don't. But postpartum depression doesn't pick sides in the mommy wars. 

One statistic that always sticks out to me is that moms who formula feed are at a higher risk of PPD. Horrible, judgmental women use this as evidence that "choosing to formula feed" means that you develop less of a connection to your baby and therefore, are a "bad mom." The truth is, a significant number of women who formula feed do so because they are unable to breastfeed--and being unable to breastfeed, or having to exclusively pump, increases your chances of PPD by almost 70%. (Another statistic that's often thrown around by breastfeeding activists is that "only 5% of women truly don't make enough milk," but 5% of the number of women who give birth is still a significant number. That's still thousands of women.) 

When I talk about PPD, it always goes back to my failure to breastfeed. And despite how PPD makes me feel, I logically know that I didn't do anything "bad" to "deserve" not being able to breastfeed or develop PPD--and that those two facts are related when it comes to my improving. 

If anyone reading this is struggling with postpartum depression, or suspects they may have postpartum depression, this is all I can say: it is ok to reach out for help (from your baby's pediatrician, from your doctor, from anyone); it does not make you a bad mom to admit you are depressed; and it does get better, things can improve, you don't have to feel like this. 

25 Facts About Me

A week or so ago, my friend Charlotte at Girl Next Door Fashion posted 25 Facts about herself. Which I loved. I've been reading Charlotte's blog since 2009/2010 (I can't honestly remember when I started now...) and I feel like I could probably tell you 25 things about her too! And yet, I still learned new things from her post. 

Like Charlotte says, when we read blogs, we tend to think we know everything about that person's life based on what they post. But personally, I know there are lots of things I never mention here. So I thought I'd share my own 25 facts! 

1. I'm the youngest of 3. I have an older sister (the oldest) and an older brother (the middle child). I subscribe heavily to birth order personality lines: my sister is motivated & driven; my brother is stereotypical middle child; and as the baby, I most resemble an only child. 

2. My favorite song changes every day, but right now, it's "Dustland Fairytale" by the Killers. 

3. I write in my journal every single day and have since I was 14. I have huge piles of old journals in my house. I have no idea what to do with them.  

4. I love to cook, but I often find by the time I'm done, I'm absolutely sick of whatever it is I made! 

5. I work as a marketing copywriter, but since I work at a start up, I wear many hats: graphic designer, content entry, marketing strategist, social media marketer... the list goes on. 

6. I write fiction when Forrest finally goes to sleep at night. 

7. I grew up in the country and never had close neighbors. The idea of just being able to walk to a friends house is still very foreign to me. 

8. I have been bitten by a tick. It's not pleasant (mostly from my own screaming). 

9. I bullet journal every day because I'm always making lists that I want to remember. 

10. I'm already planning Forrest's first trip to Disneyland because I love it so much. 

11. My favorite food is probably macaroni and cheese, followed by bread. 

12. I don't think I've ever drank enough water a day in my life. Ever. Well, maybe when I was pregnant. 

13. As much as I kind of hated being pregnant, I also really miss it. I also really enjoyed my labor & delivery, so I can't wait to do it again! 

14. Everyone close to me calls me Shelly, so sometimes I have a legitimately difficult time responding to "Michelle," even though that's what I've always been called at school and work. 

15. I love working and I find a lot of personal enjoyment from doing a good job. That being said, if I could stay home and blog for a living, I would in a heartbeat. 

16. Growing up, I wanted to be an artist. 

17. When I was in high school, I was very into the Harry Potter fandom. I was even an integral player in revealing the fake Rupert Grint official website (anyone remember that?). 

18. Sometimes, I really do miss Myspace. 

19. Autumn is my favorite season and I actually don't care how basic that makes me. I even run an insanely popular Fall tumblr. (Not to toot my own horn or anything.) 

20. I probably would not have survived the first 6 months of Forrest's life without my mom group on Facebook. Who else could I fret to about rashes, breastfeeding, and not sleeping? 

21. I don't know how to swim. My mom repeatedly put me in lessons to get me to learn, and it's just like a mental block. 

22. I'm really strict about grocery shopping and meal planning, especially with a baby (formula is expensive, y'all!), but I still find myself throwing random things into the cart when I'm actually there. 

23. I love getting mail. Even if it's just formula coupons. 

24. I always have these lofty goals of how I'll spend my weekend (cleaning or cooking meals for the week), but I usually end up walking around wearing Forrest and playing games on my phone. 

25. After having Forrest, I started becoming anemic and have to take iron supplements, as well as eat my bodyweight in lentils and red meat. (At least, that's what it feels like.) 

On Going Back to Work

I went back to work January 4, after about 14 weeks away. In those 14 weeks, I had had an emergency induction, had Forrest, spent at least 500 hours pumping (seriously, that's about 24 days in total), and had attempted to rapidly adjust to my life as a new mom. 

At first, I went back part-time and we settled into what I like to think as a Very Good routine. However, as Forrest got older, his sleep deteriorated and I was left feeling just as sleep-deprived and vulnerable as I had in the beginning... with the added bonus of being the sole content marketing team member at a promising startup (and wearing multiple hats, like Content Entry Specialist and Graphic Designer and Marketing Strategist/Analyst/Copywriter, etc.) After we decided to sleep train, things improved rapidly, though. 

The best part about Danny being a teacher is that he gets summers off. At the end of June, Danny started staying at home with Forrest full-time while I went to work. The role reversal has been eye opening for both of us. 

What Danny's Learned

I don't write this to call Danny out or anything, but he really didn't understand how difficult it was to stay home with Forrest all day, provide 100% of the care, and not get any help in the evenings. It's a really common attitude among men, especially new fathers (and even experienced fathers!). The logic Danny had was that he was at work, while I was at home pumping, feeding, and taking care of a baby--all while watching TV. Was it that hard? In the evenings, if I asked for help, Danny would often respond that he was 'tired' or he had had a 'long day.' Which very well might have been true--but I had long days with Forrest too. In fact, every day was a long day, even if there were fun parts. Cooking, cleaning, getting groceries with a newborn, pumping, feeding bottles, holding him for hours and hours of naps... it wasn't a walk in the park. 

I think to Danny, he really didn't think that taking care of Forrest all day would be difficult or tiring. In fact, I think he thought he would have all kinds of time for things. 

The first day though, the minute I walked into the house, Danny said, "I'm sorry I wasn't nicer to you." He genuinely meant it and, you know what? He wasn't nice to me during my maternity leave, or even when I was a part-time  stay-at-home-mom. He expected me to do the majority of the housework, the cooking, and all of the care for Forrest, just because he went to work. He didn't seem to understand that being a mom and dad are 24/7 jobs--even if you go to a "real" job the rest of the day. I forgive him, though, because everyone has to learn sometime. 

And I like to think I'm being nicer to him than he was to me. 

What I've Learned

I have a very difficult time finding balance in my life even at the best of times--but especially now. My day starts at 5am and I don't really stop working or taking care of Forrest until he goes to bed at 6pm. And then, once I have time for it, I find myself putting off housework. I bounce between work-Michelle, mom-Michelle, and rest-Michelle--without ever being able to stop and do the things I need to, like vacuum the house or make the bed or fold the laundry that's been sitting at the end of the bed for a week. 

Working full-time is a true challenge for me. But I also find myself being happier than I have been. I love being able to go to work, to succeed  in my career while also being a great mom. I find a lot of personal satisfaction from working and having a career--and as much as I love Forrest, I'm not totally willing to give up being both a competent mother and writer. Being both, however, is a real challenge. 

What We've All Learned

Every day, around 1:30, right as I'm starting to pack up my office... I get a text message that says, "Forrest misses you." From 6:30am to 1:30pm is about as long as Forrest can go without seeing me. I'm sure if he had his way, Forrest would be able to spend all day playing on me or near me, but that's not the world we live in, kiddo, sorry. 

A few other lessons include the fact that, when I let go of things, Danny is perfect capable. Danny has so far kept Forrest fed (both bottles and table food, although he's nervous about feeding him things other than Gerber puffs) and has kept him entertained. They've also done lots of fun stuff together, like read books, go on walks, and drive into town.

I worried when I went back full-time in late June that Danny wouldn't be able to handle things without me--but the reality is, it's harder for me than it is for him. 

Get It, Girl: 6 iPhone Backgrounds to Motivate You

I'm someone who only stays motivated if I see reminders day after day for my goals. Because, here's the thing, I will straight up forget to take steps towards my goal if I'm not continually reminded. I always use my iPhone backgrounds to remind myself to do things (taking screenshots of my Notes and setting it as my background is life), and I especially love downloading new wallpapers to get myself motivated to work out or eat healthy. Here are a few of my favorites right now:  

1. Download Here | 2. Download Here | 3. Download Here

All three available to download here (plus 10 more!) 

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Have iPhone backgrounds you love? Share a link with me on Twitter!