Ready for a short and sweet post? Good!
Today, I wanted to share 30 journaling prompts I’m using in my bullet journal this month. These are great, general prompts to get yourself in the habit of writing every single day. You don’t have to choose just one to write every day—you can pick one or two. Or you can just follow the numbers and take your time. Whatever works for you!
I hope you find these prompts helpful. Make sure to follow me on Instagram for more journal prompts!
This month, we’re going to talk about establishing boundaries: in your business, in your personal relationships, and beyond. Establishing boundaries is so important to everyone and something we don’t talk about enough! I hope you find value and comfort in these blog posts. You can read all posts in this series by clicking here.
Today’s post will be pretty short & simple. I wanted to share a few journaling prompts to help you explore your need for boundaries, what boundaries you want to set, and how you can set those boundaries.
As I’ve shared in previous posts, this past year has been a huge one for setting boundaries. Before I was laid off in July 2019, I worked constantly. Sometimes, I would drop everything I was doing when I got a Slack message. I have always worried about being viewed as lazy, needy, or inconsistent, so I made sure to be available 100% of the time. After I the layoff and as I started freelancing, I realized that this simply wasn’t a sustainable option for me. Especially as COVID-19 hit and we were quarantined, I realized that sometimes I just needed to say, “No I can’t do that” to just about everyone in my life. Dropping everything to go do a work task or dropping work tasks to go help Forrest were both unsustainable options.
Establishing boundaries around my work life and my home life were important especially because I work from home. I used these journaling prompts myself to help clear my mind, get all my thoughts out on paper, and created a plan for boundaries.
I hope you find these helpful!
Thanks for reading!
Working from home isn’t easy. It’s stressful. It’s complicated. It requires making space in your home, setting strict boundaries, and having methods for staying on task.
Unfortunately, doing all that takes time. And in March, when a lot of people were thrown into working from home full-time with no preparation, setting up those pieces was simply not possible. As a result, a lot of people struggled; a lot of businesses saw reduced efficiency and increased distraction. This wasn’t the fault of employees; it just was a weird time for everyone, trying to work in an environment they hadn’t been prepared for. As well, many employees were juggling childcare, illness, increased restrictions, and more.
Needless to say, working from home has been a big topic of discussion.
I’ve been working from home consistently for nearly 2 years—but before then, I worked from home at least 2-3 days a week, if not more. When I was pregnant, I worked from home pretty much every day. It was just easier.
I’m an advocate for work from home or remote work opportunities for those who need them. As an example, working from home works best for me, since I live in a rural area; it lowers my commute time (and therefore, my bills to keep my car running); gives me more time to spend with my son; and allows me to take on more work while remaining productive. Working from home can be beneficial to mothers with small children who want to remain in the workforce, those with disabilities who require home care but want to be able to work, and others.
However, I’ll be the first to tell you: working from home is incredibly challenging. I have some unpopular opinions about it. Here they are.
For many, the opportunity to work from home is sometimes used as a signal to say: see, we won’t micromanage you or wring you dry or make you miserable at all!
I cannot tell you how untrue this is. Working from home doesn’t mean your company’s culture is good. In fact, encouraging employees to work from home, and then remaining overbearing, poor communicative, and ill equipped to handle a variety of employees needs, is the exact opposite of a good company culture—and it is incredibly common amongst companies that offer remote and work from home opportunities.
If you’re considering taking a job that is remote or offers the ability to work from home, make sure you’re keeping an eye on the company’s culture, asking the right questions about their culture, and more. (I do have some blog posts planned on this topic coming up!)
Here is a common exchange I often had before quarantine.
Stranger: Oh, you work from home? As a freelancer? That must be nice.
Me: Yeah, I have a lot of flexibility.
Stranger: You must get so many chores done around the house! And all caught up on Netflix, huh?
Me:
Am I at home doing chores? No. Am I at home watching Netflix and eating chips on the couch? No. What am I doing at home? I’m working. Just like everyone else.
If you think people who work from home are just lounging around, I have 4 words for you: no, they are not.
If you want to work from home because you think it will give you more time for things like chores, watching Netflix, hanging out with your friends, etc., I have a few more words for you: please don’t take these opportunities for those who legitimately need them.
On that same note, I would say: a surprising number of people simply do not do well working from home. It takes a very specific personality, with a large portion of self-motivation and focus, in order to thrive while working from home.
Just as some people don’t thrive in office environments, some people simply will not be able to work from home effectively. Sometimes, working from home is touted as a perfect solution, a great way for businesses to save money. The reality is… if it isn’t effective for even a percentage of employees, then it will not be beneficial to a business. I know many businesses have pivoted to work from home only due to COVID19, even after stay-at-home restrictions are lifted. I cannot tell you how nervous this makes me for those employees who need in-person work solutions to thrive.
My viewpoint is that you should seek out a work situation that is most beneficial to you. There is a reason why workshare offices, like WeWork spaces, thrive! It’s because even some freelancers prefer to work around other people, to have people around to bounce ideas off of and talk to. Working from home can be very isolating and if isolation doesn’t improve your work, then working from home won’t be a good solution for you.
Whew! Now that I’ve got that off my chest… I’m excited to share that I’m seeking out guests posts for the future from BIPOC, the disabled community, and QLGBTIA+ in order to share more insights into career, motherhood, self-care, and more. If this sounds like something you’d like to participate in, please let me know!
I don’t often write book reviews, but when I do, I like it to be something that I really feel matters.
I originally intended to have this post up last Monday, but—surprise! I started a semi-long term job that has kept me pretty busy the last week. My freelance work has also picked up a lot. Needless to say, I’m busy, but I’m trying not to let that toxic busy-ness make me insufferable.
I use a lot of Moorea Seal’s 52 Lists products. Her original 52 Lists book is one of my favorite journals ever; I did it the first time through in the year after I had Forrest and let me tell you, some of those lists really take me back to those harder days. If you’re new to journaling, or just need some inspiration, I cannot recommend it enough.
I use her 52 Lists planner every single day; it’s one of my favorite planner layouts and I’m already planning to purchase it again for next year.
So when I bought 52 Lists for Calm in late December, I knew I was going to enjoy it. I like journaling and I find it very easy—but I often struggle to really write down what is making me anxious, as I always worry it will make me more anxious to write about it. However, I knew I needed a way to work through everything that has been swirling around me since I was laid off back in July. I wanted this book to be that for me.
And thankfully, it does a good job of it!
I’ve written before about how beneficial I find journaling. No matter how you choose to journal, I think it’s beneficial to let yourself have some time to unwind. The primary way I use 52 Lists for Calm has been as a book to keep on my desk to grab whenever I need a few minutes to just write without thinking. Plus, even once you fill in all the pages (and I’ve probably filled in 75%), you can reuse the prompts: in a Google Doc or another journal or even on the Notes app on your phone.
52 Lists for Calm is separated into 4 sections: Being Present; Look Back; Move Forward; and Release. All of the sections have lists that walk you through finding ways to release your worries, really tap into what is bothering you, and release it. List 7, as an example, has you write out everything that is stressing you out—then destroy it, either through burning it, crossing it out, whatever works for you.
It is surprisingly cathartic!
My favorite section is probably the Look Back section. What can I say? I’m a Type 4 Enneagram, I love being introspective and nostalgia is my drug of choice. I loved List 14, which was all about writing out things that brought me comfort in childhood, as well as List 21, which prompted me to list things about myself that I feel scared expressing.
Basically, 52 Lists for Calm walks you through a bunch of different fun, interesting lists that let you peer directly into what calms you down. I think it’s easy to start a guided journal like this with the idea that it might fix your stress—but to me, it was actually more about finding things that I already knew work to help me calm down, see the bigger picture, and stop worrying.
I’m going to keep this review short and sweet: if you’ve been wanting to get into journaling, but find it overwhelming, I think 52 Lists for Calm will be a great place to start. Even if you’re an experienced journaler, I think it’s a great way to find some new prompts and get to writing. No matter what you use it for, I have enjoyed working my way through it. Moorea Seal designs beautiful books (let’s be honest: how it looks is 100% part of the package for me!) and that’s probably why I love them so much.
If you want to test 52 Lists for Calm for yourself, click here to buy a copy!
The most important part of writing is doing it.
I’m actually not a fan of the old adage that you should write everyday, regardless of how you feel. If that works for you, then gah bless ya, as they save. It actually is something I practice myself—but I recognize that sometimes the amount I write day-to-day isn’t sustainable or healthy, and my desire to write everyday sometimes doesn’t come from having anything to write about, but rather a feeling that I “need to get things done.” There is also, of course, the fact that my writing is what pays my bills at this point.
This is all to say: if you want to write more, but the thought of having to write every single day to take yourself seriously is overwhelming and stops you, please know you don’t have to write literally every day.
It also goes without saying that it isn’t sustainable to try to write all day every single day. Like I said, writing pays my bills—but I’m not writing 8 hours a day.
If you are looking to write more frequently, or even every day, it can be really easy to get writer’s block. But sometimes all you need is to write something once and then the rest starts flowing. I like to do short writing exercises in the morning. I have a few books I pull from: Coffee Break Writing, The Story of My Life, and 52 Lists for Calm are 3 I keep on my desk to pull and work on. After that, I usually feel good enough to head into my work tasks.
I have a few other prompts that I keep on hand for when one of those 3 books just isn’t doing it for me. I thought I’d share my 5 favorites to help you get started in developing a writing habit!
No, not your to do list (although you should do that too, trust me, if only to get a handle on your time management skills.)
Sometimes, I write a list of whatever I’m thinking about: things I’m thinking about; funny tweets I’ve seen; books I want to read; tv shows I’ve been meaning to watch. Other times, I write more creative lists, like: my favorite flowers & what they look like; my favorite smells; things that remind me of my childhood Christmas; or things in coffee shops that annoy me.
How long I make the list is entirely dependent on how into it I get. Sometimes, they end up quite long. Other times, quite short. Sometimes, writing those lists will inspire me to write something else: a poem about Forrest or a blog post or an Instagram caption. Either way, they’ve done their job. Plus, it’s nice to have a bunch of lists to look back on.
This can be anything: read an article, a poem, a section of a book, a scene in a movie—and write a short reimagining of it. Write The Hunger Games from Gale’s perspective. Rewrite that famous William Carlos Williams poem. Turn Harry Potter into a story about Penelope Clearwater. Take Frankenstein’s monster and put him in Brooklyn, 2020. Whatever you choose, reimagine it as something else entirely—whatever that means to you.
If what I imagine is longer than what I can write in the 30-40 minutes I’ve given myself, I often just write a synopsis or a few bullet points about what would change. Sometimes, I’ll write one short scene of it or a prose poem. If I’m reimagining a poem, I might write it as an Instagram post or a TikTok video. It helps me think differently, make something new out of something very familiar. Be playful. Have fun. This is just for you.
What are American Sentences you ask? American Sentences were invented by Allen Ginsberg, as a 17-syllable sentence that mimics a haiku. (Haikus follow the 5-7-5 syllable rule; added together, it’s 17 syllables total.) This is a good rundown on American Sentences that has a ton of examples.
American Sentences require you to think carefully about what you’re trying to convey in your writing, as well as the rhythm of the words themselves. To me, it’s very helpful to write this way because it forces me to be more concise and direct. (You may have noticed my tendency towards being verbose. No apologies.) For me, it’s fun to play with language in this way when no one is looking—and it helps me feel more creative. Read some examples and try your hand at writing a few. I think you’ll be surprised!
Whenever I’m feeling particularly stuck, I go and reread something I’ve written. At least once a year, I reread my former NaNoWriMo novels—and often find myself rewriting parts of them, tweaking the storyline or descriptions. I also will sometimes reread stories I started, but never finished. A prime example is a short story I’m currently working on, that I actually started nearly a year ago; I considered working on it for NaNoWriMo, but couldn’t nail down a plot. I reread it recently and started working on it again—getting an idea for at least 10,000 words.
Sometimes, rereading things we’ve written before will give us new ideas—or at least give us a few minutes of working on something that reenergizes us. This kind of writing specifically is helpful because it works on editing, which is a valuable skill we all need.
Recently, I started a weather journal. This was partly inspired by Nick Cave, but mostly was just a way for me to journal without putting pressure on myself to actually produce something or write something meaningful. Very often writing about the weather turns into me writing something else—things I want to remember, things I’m doing, what Forrest is up to, how I’m feeling.
Every day, write about the weather as you see it from where you are: what do you see? What do you smell? How did you have to dress that day? What does it remind you of? Describe it. Use all your senses! It doesn’t have to be more than a paragraph or two, but it feels like a lot at the end—and might give you ideas for something else to write about.
Do you keep a journal? A diary? A planner?
More specifically: do you have somewhere to dump all your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, tasks, plans, dreams? It doesn’t have to be a traditional diary. It can be in the daily part of your planner, or the extra notes pages in the back. Or it can be an app you use every day. A notebook you use for your grocery lists. Your Notes app. A Word document on your computer or your Google Drive.
Do you see what I’m getting at?
I’m a lifelong journal keeper. And recently in therapy, my therapist asked if I journaled and I basically started listing all the years I’ve kept journals and diaries meticulously. (My earliest saved, complete journal is from my sophomore year of high school. It’s a Harry Potter notebook.) We talked about the benefits of journaling and things I can start journaling about everyday to start thinking more about.
Journaling has so many benefits. Professionally, mentally, emotionally, personally… and making journaling part of your daily routine is super easy. There are so many ways to incorporate journaling—but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.
Journaling in the traditional sense isn’t for everyone; some people just plain don’t like writing by hand. And that’s ok! You can use whatever medium you like best. But, I do think journaling, no matter how you choose to do it, can benefit you in the long run. Think of it as self-care… and these are all the benefits.
I spend a lot of time journaling purely to organize everything I’ve got running through my head. I always have a million concerns, tasks, things to think about, ideas… and writing them down helps a lot. Sometimes I do four-point brain dumps, where I organize my journaling into MUST-SHOULD-COULD-WANT TO to help me roll through my tasks and overwhelming, pressing thoughts of what I want to do that day.
Other times, I just sit and write out something I’ve been thinking over. An idea that I’m not sure if I should go for or not.
Journaling gives you a chance to pour out everything you’ve been thinking about. Something you want to refer back to or just want to work through. Use journaling to organize your thoughts, answer your own questions, and work through any problems you might be having.
Plain and simple: if you want to be a better writer, journaling will help you get there.
Learning to write things accurately, you write out longer sentences and better solutions, writing in a way that is compassionate or friendly or solution focused… it’s all in journaling! As well, writing, just like any art form, is better with practice. You only become a better writer by writing… so even if you’re not ready to post blogs or publish a novel quite yet, keeping a journal is a great way to write every single day.
Me: I want to do this every single day.
Two days later: wait, what was it I wanted to do?
Yeah, if you’re like me and you forget things if you don’t write them down, a journal is a great way to focus on your goals, remembering them day-to-day, and tracking what you struggle with, what helps, and more. It can also help you identify and talk through issues you have with goals, as well as noticing patterns in your behavior.
For a long time, journaling has been added to superficial lists of how to “reduce your anxiety or fix your depression.” And I’ll be the first to tell you: I don’t think it will do that. Like at all.
However, if you’re someone who carries a lot of stress chronically, I can really relate. And I’ll be the first to tell you that writing everything down, getting all of those random little stressors out of your head and onto a page… will make a huge difference in your life! Sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly stuck on something and it’s stressing me out, taking a few minutes to just list everything that makes me feel stressed about that task is all I need to get on with it.
Journaling at the end of the day is also a good way to turn off your brain and keep those little stress points from keeping you awake.
As we go through our lives, there will be time where we have to make choices. And if you’re like me, sometimes you wonder if you made the right choice. Self-reflection is an incredibly valuable skill; it can help you assess your goals, figure out patterns of behavior that hurt or help you, and be you a better person. Using journaling to ask yourself questions like “did I make the right choice?” or “did my behavior hurt someone?” can be hugely helpful.
As well, it can help you assess things you’re afraid of. One big thing I’ve been tackling in my journaling lately is my fear of asking questions—and when that started, what it’s protecting me from, and more. Throughout my journaling, I try to note times during the day when I could have or should have asked a question and what I felt in that moment. That type of self-reflection is helping me overcome something that has impacted my life ever since I was a child.
I have a fairly good memory naturally, but a lot of it is because I write everything down, in the moment and in my journal. At my therapist’s recently, I was listing all my family member’s star charts and she paused me to say, “you have such a good memory!” It’s a blessing and a curse.
But if you struggle to remember things, especially tasks or things people ask you to do, journaling can be a huge help. The act of taking notes has been long confirmed to help improve memory. So writing things down as a way to remember helps you remember, even without seeing the notes (or journal) itself. If your 2020 goal is to remember more of your day-to-day and improve your memory, then journaling is a great option.
I’ll say one thing about NaNoWriMo that might be a little controversial: I don’t actually think it’s that much of a challenge.
Put down your pitchforks. In terms of a challenge for writing, it’s not that much of a challenge literally, on paper. If you, like me, are paid to write, then writing 1,666 words a day isn’t a stretch. On average, one of my blog posts in 1,000 words or so; if I write one and a half blog posts a day, I meet that goal easy. If I write a marketing strategy for a client, they average about 5,000 words; I have tripled that. If I write email marketing for a client, at 300-500 words per email, I meet that goal in 4 emails or so. If you think about NaNoWriMo in pure word counts, it’s really not that hard.
The challenge, of course, always mental. People sabotage themselves by editing through NaNoWriMo, deciding they don’t like a plot line or a character or how they’ve written something. It goes without saying: NaNoWriMo is not the time to perfect your story. Save that for December, or better yet, January! NaNoWriMo is about word vomiting 50,000 words into existence.
I had a minor tiff with someone in a writing group this past week who was upset at people talking about NaNo being an opportunity to just get 50,000 words out. “I write with intention,” they said, “with the idea that I won’t need to edit it at the end.”
Whew! Girl, have a seat! No one cares!
If you write with the intention that you’ll never need a 2nd draft, first of all, good luck with that. (It’s literally not possible. Every story you’ve ever read has been meticulously edited not just once or twice, but 10+ times. I guarantee it.) But if you go into NaNoWriMo with that mindset, you’re going to have an even worse time. Why? Because you’ll get behind fast; you’ll second guess yourself; you won’t be able to meet the goal.
So how can you stay motivated during NaNoWriMo to just write, write, write without second guessing what you’ve written? Let’s talk strategies, my writing darlings!
Don’t go back and read what you’ve written. Period. End of story. If it helps, once you’re done with a scene… turn the font color to white so you actually can’t look at it. I followed this tip for my first 2 NaNoWriMos because the urge to go back and change things was so strong.
Basically, the less you go back and read what you’ve written the better. If you need to remember a specific detail (did I say the walls were grey or green?) then search for it using the search function in your word processor… don’t start reading past scenes. You’ll only get stuck in the quagmire of self doubt. Remember: it’s a first draft, not a last draft. No one is asking you to write a perfect novel… just 50,000 words.
Sometimes, when I’m writing, I’ll get stuck. I need to write a transition scene, but I can’t think of one yet—but I do know exactly how I want the next scene to go. So, here goes a placeholder: [TRANSITION SCENE] or [KEYWORD SCENE].
Placeholders are the perfect solution from getting stuck on something for minutes, hours, or even days. If you stick in a placeholder, you can quickly hit your goal and give yourself time to think of that scene, then go back and add it in. This method isn’t perfect; you can use placeholders too much (cut to me with a word doc of ALL placeholders, scream crying into the abyss). I limit myself to one per chapter, with the intention to go back and fill it in within at least two or three days.
Oh, you don’t have an outline? I won’t judge you for being a pantser; my first NaNoWriMo was a pants situation. About halfway through, I forgot my main character’s last name and I had list the single sheet of notes where I’d written this information. So I wrote a new last name. Is this novel good? No. Does it have a plot? Also no. Do I recommend this method to anyone who wants to actually finish NaNoWriMo? Definitely no.
I’m a firm believer in planning. I even have a free NaNoWriMo guide to write the easiest possible outline in the world. If you have an outline, you’ll never get stuck; you’ll never find yourself 10,000 words in wondering where to go next. If you have an outline and character details in place in advance, you’re going to be fine; your only challenges will be mentally getting over a few hurdles.
Are you doing NaNoWriMo? Tell me how you’re doing!
Originally, I had this post in my editorial calendar as “things I’ve learned since I was laid off". But as I started to write, I found myself thinking over and over and that again, this puts the focus of my life at this moment on being laid off.
Was it terrible? Yes. Sometimes, it’s hard not to just be filled with a blazing, all-encompassing anger that controls my life day-to-day.
My therapist keeps reminding me, though, that I’ve gone through terrible things before and I’ve always made it out ok. I survived being fired, struggling to find a job, graduating from college amidst my grandfather’s illness, and much more… and I survived all of it, even on the days when I thought I wouldn’t be able to. The only difference now is that I have Forrest.
Before, when things were bad, I had some responsibility, but not much. Now, I have an entire little person to stay functional for and that makes the pressure that much greater. Also, after becoming a mother, I felt overwhelmed by motherhood; I found it at times isolating. It took me a long time to learn that you can love being a mother (I do!) and also recognize that it is a thankless, difficult, and often unpleasant job. It’s not all bad, but sometimes, it’s pretty bad. It can leave you drained.
So when I went back to work, it helped me have a second part to my identity again. I have never wanted to be all mom, all the time. I think if I did, it would leave me exhausted and depressed. It might work for some people, but it doesn’t work for me; I needed more and my job, in so many ways, was the more that I needed.
I’m removing the emphasis from being laid off. I get to tell my story exactly how I want to and part of that means rewiring in my head what that looks like and sounds like to myself. I got laid off—that’s bad. But I think what that actually feels like to me is losing a part of my identity that was helping me to offload the stress of being a mother.
As I started writing, I realized I was talking more about resiliency and inner confidence—not necessarily that I was laid off. Part of the last few months has been rebuilding my identity, figuring out who I am as a professional without an “official” job title (or job, period!), and wrestling with everything that comes with it. This isn’t really fun work (trust me), but it’s been important. And while I would never pretend everything is fixed and perfect right now, I do feel better in many ways than I have in a long time.
All this is to say: when I was laid off in July, I realized I needed to work on being more resilient in my current life. I’ve been resilient in the past in a hundred different ways, but I have really struggled with it the last few months. I wanted to write about resiliency, about what I’ve learned not just this year, but in the years past, and how we can all work on being more resilient.
“Would you judge me if I canceled X today?” I text my husband at least once a day. It’s usually something small, like an oil change or a work out class. He always sends back: “you can use your energy however you feel fit today.” This is his nice way of saying: if you don’t have the energy to do whatever it is you’re asking about, don’t do it.
We all use our energy for different things, prioritized in different ways. One thing I do every single day, even if I don’t feel capable of doing anything else, is make my bed. It makes me feel good; it makes my bedroom feel cleaner; it’s how I will use a tiny smidgen of energy because it’s important to me. Things I won’t use my energy on if I’m feeling low are: working out; emptying the dishwasher; or vacuuming.
When I went to a therapy appointment recently, I was dressed nice because I had a meeting right afterward. The week before, I’d been barely functional; just really wallowing and feeling bad. My therapist’s first words were: “you’re choosing to be resilient. I see that and I admire that about you.” That day, I had the energy to get dressed (even though I did not feel like it at all) and make myself presentable, because I had an obligation. That’s a form of resiliency.
But sometimes being resilient isn’t really about choosing to do those things. It’s about choosing not to do those things. Sometimes, resiliency might be this: making the choice between showering & getting dressed, and actually finishing a client project you’re on a deadline for. If you have enough energy for either one, you’ll probably do the one that makes you money—but doesn’t necessarily look externally like resiliency.
Let’s return back to that time my therapist told me I was resilient and that she admired that about me; right afterwards, she said, “you know, you don’t always have to be so resilient.”
Sometimes, our ability to pick ourselves up and get on with this is something to be lauded. We should feel proud that we got dressed enough to take our kids to school, to make a client meeting. We should feel proud that we used our energy to meet a deadline. But sometimes, it’s not something to wear proudly; forcing ourselves to continue going along with our day (going to work, pretending to be happy or fine) is just hurting us in the long run. It’s ok to take time, to focus your energy on healing and getting better. Sometimes, resiliency is something we use to avoid focusing on what’s hurting us.
We all know someone who has never really had anything very bad happen to them. No traumatic family deaths, no big career shifts. At once, it’s very easy to be jealous of that life; what would it be like to never have something go absolutely topsy turvy one day? To wake up and just be… fine?
But everyone, eventually, has an event in their life that will throw them for a loop and require them to become a little more resilient. Mine, right now, is being laid off; I’d gotten complacent in many ways and now, I have to learn to build an identity that isn’t just about being a working mom. Even the people you look at and think, “they’ve never had anything bad happen” will eventually have something bad happen, unfortunately; and they’ll need to learn to be resilient too. The brilliant thing is: the more you practice resiliency, and healing yourself when bad things happen, the better you get at it because you have the mechanisms and knowledge in place to know what to do.
In the words of my therapist: “you’re entire personality cannot be that you work hard even when you are extremely unwell.” Basically, there is more to life than showing everyone you are extremely resilient and hardworking. No one is going to think you’re any less of a hard worker just because you take personal days, or make time for your self-soothing and self-care activities. Resiliency is something we do, an experience we have throughout our day… but it’s not who we are.
This is slightly related to point 3: some people just go through more in their life and develop stronger skills at resiliency.
Some people are just naturally better at “springing back”, if you will.
And some people just aren’t.
I don’t like change, so I think my biggest struggle with resiliency is moving on and adapting myself to something new, and finding tools to help me make it happen. I don’t think I’m naturally resilient, but resiliency is something I’ve adapted to help me over time. The first time around when I was unemployed, I think I was mentally in a better place, but I was also significantly less resilient in many ways.
Being more capable of resiliency, again, isn’t necessarily a personalty trait. It’s just a fact of life.Some people are better at being organized; some people are just naturally better cooks; and some people are just very resilient.
