10 Habits I've Started to Reduce Anxiety

I've struggled with anxiety since I was quite young. 

When I was 2, I was well known for twirling my hair. This habit didn't go away when my pediatrician said it would; in fact, it got worse. If you know me today, you know that I still twirled my hair near constantly. Not as obviously as I did when I was 2, but still noticeably. I like braiding my hair or rubbing it between my fingers, or twisting it around my finger over and over again. 

I never associated my hair twirling with anxiety, but I've learned, as I've gotten older, that I use it as a way to comfort myself when I feel anxious. 

The last few years of my life have been defined by anxiety--to the point where my anxiety started to have effects on my health. 

Lots of people have lots of different ways of dealing with their anxiety--and what works for some people definitely doesn't work for other people. For me, my anxiety often calms down when I'm able to spend a whole day cleaning my house and getting bits of my life in order (something I've been desperately wanting to do for ages now). For others, they feel better when they get a chance to relax or treat themselves in a way they normally do. It just depends!

When I sat down to write this post, I thought of every different way I could indicate that these are just the things that work for me and I'm sharing them only in the hope that perhaps they can help you deal with your anxiety. I'm not a doctor and I'm not being prescriptive with this list. If you're really struggling with your anxiety, the best place to turn is a doctor--not the internet, unfortunately. (It's also important to remember that acts of self-care aren't just bubblebaths and eating your favorite foods, but also include self forgiveness, acts of self-kindness, and much more--and ultimately, self-care can't replace other forms of treatment for anxiety and depression! Get the help you need!) 

So, if you want to learn a few ways I've been helping my anxiety lately, keep reading!

1. Bullet Journaling

I've written about bullet journaling before and I know that for those with anxiety, bullet journals (especially as they appear on the internet) can feel really demanding and, honestly, a little anxiety-inducing. But once I gave bujo a chance (and let myself do it my way, instead of feeling like I had to have The Perfect Journal) it was really fun! I spend every evening working on my bullet journal, writing about my day, and filling out any pages that need filled. 

2. Exercising

I know this feels a little bit lame, but it's been a year since I started working out again and honestly, it's one of the best choices I ever made. For me, exercise walks a fine line between "reduces anxiety" and "causes anxiety". I have to be really mindful of how exercise is making me feel and if it starts to feel bad, I take a break. But overwhelmingly, getting myself in a routine feels really good; I love having my exercise time three days a week where I get out of the house. 

3. Creating a cleaning routine

The way my surroundings look is really important for me. I have to be in a clean, organized house. This has been a sore spot for me for a while because my husband is the exact opposite. I genuinely think he could live inside an active, operating barn and be totally fine, probably not notice a thing wrong. I've started doing what I call my "5 tasks" in the evening before bed and it makes a huge difference: emptying the dish strainer, loading the dishwasher, wiping the counters, cleaning the coffee pot, and sweeping the kitchen floor have made a huge difference in my anxiety level each morning. 

4. Reading

I've always been a reader and I read quite a lot, but for the past probably 6 months, I just haven't made time for it. But taking 10-20 minutes every day to read, instead of look at a screen, has really helped me not get my usual afternoon tension headaches. 

5. Washing my face

As much as I love skincare, sometimes I'm the worst at washing my face. But I have found that washing my face and doing the skincare routine that I really, really love helps relax me in the evenings and lets me unwind much easier. Who knew!? 

6. Listening to podcasts in the bathtub

I love podcasts (I've written at least three blog posts about it!) and I love taking baths. I used to primarily read in the bathtub, but I found that actually didn't help me relax as much as I wanted it to. I've started turning on my podcasts as I soak though and it's exactly what I need: something to occupy my brain, but not too much. 

7. Going to bed early

I have this weird thing about "using the time I have before bed", whatever that means. After Forrest goes to sleep, I feel like I have to accomplish everything: clean the house, food prep, whatever. So I usually don't get into bed until 10pm, then I'm up at 5--and frankly, that's just not enough sleep sometimes! And some nights, I just don't feel like tackling my rapidly expanding to do list and... you know what? Sometimes I don't have to. The email can wait until the morning. The blog post can get written some other time. Crawling into bed at 7pm simply because I feel like it is the best treat I can give myself. 

8. Eating breakfast

I've always really struggled with breakfast, as I'm usually not hungry right when I wake up and then I don't have time once I leave for work. But skipping breakfast also gives me a lot of anxiety: I worry about getting hungry later in the day, not having anything to eat, having to find something and spend money... you know, anxiety thoughts. I've been packing simple breakfasts for myself lately--cheese and crackers, yogurt and granola, smoothies, that kind of thing--and it's made a huge difference in allowing me to focus on my work and not feel anxious about getting hungry. 

9. Reducing how much coffee I drink

I love coffee. When Forrest was a newborn, I drank probably 3-4 cups a day, which is substantial for me, someone who never liked coffee before. I've gotten it down to less than 3 in recent months, but even that is quite a lot. Especially since I have pre-existing anxiety issues! I've started limiting myself to one cup in the morning and one cup in the afternoon. Hopefully soon I can cut out that afternoon cup! 

10. Quitting if I need to

I pride myself on not being a quitter. I try not to give up on tasks I set for myself, especially if they impact other people. But lately I've realized that sometimes my insistence on "finishing things" ends up biting me in the butt, for two reasons: firstly, I tend to not do that great of a job if I end up forcing it; and secondly, it just gives me horrible anxiety. Allowing myself to quit something, or at least set it aside for a few weeks and return to it when I feel motivated and able to complete it, has been really freeing. 

My February 2018 Wrap Up

As I wrote in my January wrap up, January felt like the longest month ever. Conversely, February feels like the absolute shortest month. How does that happen? February has notoriously been an important and hated month for me, evidenced by this tweet: 

The most important events of my LIFE always happen in February.
1) found out I was pregnant 3 years ago
2) got let go from a job I hated 4 years ago
3) cut off part of my thumb 5 years ago

February: my least favorite month.

— michelle 👩🏻‍💻🎄 (@michellelocke_) February 18, 2018

Thankfully, this February has been relatively quiet. I did get called for jury duty, but thankfully, there are no jury selections scheduled for my day--score! (And before anyone asks, I understand jury duty is my civic duty... however, I've been called 5 times since I turned 18! The first time I was in high school. I've served way more than others!) 

A few really great things happened this February, which makes it stand out in a long line of bummer months. Let's talk about all the good stuff! 

Things I Loved

• I know from many parents that all toddlers eventually develop their first obsession. For some, it was Monsters Inc., or Toy Story. I know Forrest's now. It's the Little Einsteins. It's a Disney Junior show where four very diverse characters (one is a conductor, another a ballerina, etc.) fly in a rocket ship to play music and solve problems. It's not a terrible show, but the rocket ship song will haunt my nightmares. This is motherhood, ordering 5 Little Einsteins DVDs only for your child to only want to watch one of them over and over and over...
• Danny and I took a weekend trip to a family cabin in Sunriver, Oregon. It was so nice to get away for a little while, even if Forrest chose that weekend to throw several massive tantrums! It snowed, both there and at home, so we got a bit of fun weather. 

Things I Learned

• First things first, we have to talk about my newest podcast obsession: This Podcast Will Kill You, a podcast about infectious diseases. It combines history with biology in a way that is so fascinating. The hosts are funny, educated, and insightful. The smallpox episode and the HIV episode stand out as my two favorites, but they're all good. As a warning, it can be quite gruesome--buth the payoff is great. I can't wait for season 2! 
• My other new favorite podcast: Witch Please! Another podcast hosted by two women where they discuss Harry Potter in a way that is purely academic, funny, and purposefully ignores authorial intent (aka the bane of my existene when I talk critically about Harry Potter). I'm still binging, but I really, really love this one. 
• If you haven't read the article from New York Magazine about the worst roommate ever, please click here and read it. Like many, I have a terrible roommate story (I learned my lesson and never had another), but goodness gracious, can you imagine living through that!? I am obsessed! 
• One of my favorite artists is Sizzy Rocket, who just released a 3 song EP called Mulholland. Listen, that's way too few songs because it is so good. Please listen here. 

My Favorite Content

• If you haven't been following my thread of observations I've made, after switching from a Personal Instagram to a Business Instagram, I highly suggest you click here. I'm going to be writing a much longer blog post on this eventually, with some quantified data (well, as good as my non-math brain can) and decisions about whether it's worth it. 
• My February Ipsy Bag review: this is a favorite only because I'm so impressed with my own photography!
• My Spring Color Series: I'm finishing up this week, but I've been having so much fun writing these, finding inspiration, and finding pieces that everyone can use to add some color to their winter wardrobes! 
• My review of Lush's Bella Fruta box: This review was several weeks in the making; I put a lot of work into it (all those baths, "work") and I'm really happy with how it came out. My only regret? That I started using items before I took a better picture! You live and learn! 

I hope you all had a wonderful month. Drop your favorites, loves, and learns in the comments! 

Why I Stopped Using Nail Polish

A few years ago I was obsessed with nail polish. It was my thing. I posted my nails constantly to Instagram, I followed nail artists, I bought nail polish by the bucket load...

I haven't painted my nails in probably 2 years. My nail stamping supplies, which I absolutely loved and hoarded, have gone unused. I will probably resell them soon. A few weeks ago, I went through my massive nail polish collection, which filled an entire drawer in my bathroom, and threw away or donated over 50% of it--closer to 75%. The rest I will probably donate to my husband's school soon, keeping just a few of my favorites. 

It took a long time, but finally, I realized: I just can't paint my nails. I love it; I love how nail polish looks; and I wish I could be one of those people who wears nail polish all the time. But I can't. 

For several years, I struggled to get my nails to look decent without polish. 

My nails are very thin (by nature); I have small nail beds and weak, thin nails that are prone to splitting and peeling. I kept them painted because they were really short and ragged without polish; polish gave them an extra layer of strength, I thought. 

While trying to figure out why my nails were such garbage (despite spending a lot of money on expensive topcoats and basecoats), I started finding articles that suggested that, alongside skin types, there are also nail types. My mind was blown. Aren't nails just... nails? Aren't they the same for everybody? 

No. Just like not everyone has the same hair type, not every has the same nail type. Our nails are as unique as we are. 

The Common Nail Types

I tried to find good sources for all this, but unfortunately, the biggest article I could find was the Daily Mail, which I won't be linking to. This is jammed together from my research (written down in my journal a few years ago). 

There are 4 major nail types: 

1. Oily
2. Combination
3. Dry
4. Sensitive

You can have oily and sensitive nails, dry and sensitive nails, or just one at a time. If you can wear nail polish for days and days and never have it peel, you've probably got dry nails. (Your nails are also prone to being hard and brittle, however.) If your nail polish peels up within a day or two, you've most likely got oily nails. If your nails seem relatively perfect and you have no idea what these problems like "rigid breaks" and "peeling" are, then you probably have combination nails.

And if your nails react to nail polish by splitting, peeling up in layers, resembling wet paper, and breaking constantly, you've got sensitive nails.

So, I'd like to reintroduce myself: my name is Michelle and I have oily, extremely sensitive nails. 

What Nail Polish Did to My Nails

My most common complaint in my nail polish days was that I couldn't get my nail polish to stay for longer than 3 days and if I took my nail polish off, my nails would peel in sheets, the layers of my nail separating from each other. My nails would get so weak from the peeling layers (which I would file to try and normalize, but it did nothing) that they would resemble wet paper; even if I wanted to use them to, say, peel a label off something or open something, they would just bend back or up. 

It finally got to the point that I was so fed up with my nails, I didn't see a point in painting them anymore. So I stopped. I ignored them. I unfollowed all the nail artists on Instagram because it made me irrationally jealous (why do they get such nice nails and mine can't grow past my fingertip without peeling?). I put my nail polish in a drawer and forgot about it. 

Then I got pregnant and had Forrest. I painted my nails occasionally through that time, but didn't do any fancy nail art, as I had been doing, and I definitely wasn't buying new polishes. I decided to just let my nails heal for a while and, in the flux of having a newborn, didn't have time to paint my nails anyway. 

As I got more into skincare and makeup again, I ignored my nails. They seemed to stop peeling so much. And then, in November, I looked down and noticed them. Because they were long. My nails, which had always been short, short, short... were long. They were so long I immediately thought, "I need to file them, this is ridiculous." I started looking for care tips and applying jojoba oil and vitamin E gel to my nails every morning and night. It made a huge difference.  

But the biggest difference, I've noticed is that it was only when I went over a year without nail polish, letting my poor, ragged nails heal, did they get healthy enough to actually grow. 

My husband can attest to the fact that for the first years of our relationship, I never clipped my nails. Never. I didn't need to. They stayed short naturally. I didn't file them either, except to file the tips to try and reseal the layers of my nail that peeled up constantly. 

When I painted my nails frequently, my nails were garbage. They were bad, weak, and honestly ugly to look at. When I stopped, my nails improved so much that now I actually wish I could paint them. (But I don't because I don't want to undo all that hard work!) 

Am I Sure It Was the Nail Polish? 

When I was explaining this story to someone recently (who had noticed my nails), they asked, "How can you be sure it was because of nail polish?" 

The truth is: I don't know. But knowing what I know about nail types, I have to assume it was the cause. Sensitive nails peel and weaken when they are exposed to harsh chemicals, like those in nail polish. (As a note, nail polish is absolutely safe; I do not believe it is absorbed or dangerous. But for some nail types, it's just not healthy for those nails.) That's what my nails did; they peeled so badly that people noticed and my nails got so weak that I couldn't do anything with them. 

It's possible it was something else environmental, but it's hard to be 100% sure. That being said, I'm pretty confident in my decision to drop nail polish for good from this point on in my life. While it's beautiful, and I love it and wish I could wear it, I also really love having nice nails now! 

My January 2018 Wrap Up

Tweets like this have been going around for what feels like the entire month, but: did January feel really, really long to anyone else? 

Last week, I distinctly remember thinking... "it's finally the last week of January." But it wasn't. It wasn't even close! I was still 10 days away from the end of January! Yet the first 20 days of January felt like, easily, 3 or 4 weeks. 

January is always kind of a slog of a month; we're all making up for the holidays (either at work/school or in our finances or, worse, both or even all three); it's cold or wet or both; we're tired, we're cranky, we've had a "break" that might not have felt like a break (and some of us don't really get breaks). It's a rough month, set in the dead of winter, with no signs of spring yet. 

But January wasn't all bad. One of my goals, privately, for January was to try and remain positive even in the face of feeling... really, really not positive (negative, Michelle, that's called negative). I've done great in some areas of my life and not-so-great in other areas, but I am supremely proud of myself in a lot of ways. Because I really felt like I rocked it this month, made steps towards being a better version of myself, and grew in ways I didn't really think possible. 

Things I Learned

It's ok to let things go. I'm not someone who causes a ruckus, really. In fact, I've always been one of those people who doesn't say when something bothers me or when something bad happens... and then, 2 weeks later when someone else finds out, they ask me why I didn't mention it to anyone. I just don't want to be a bother. I always second guess myself when I don't say anything. I've always felt a little bit like "maybe I am a pushover" when I have those moments, but recently I realized that sometimes it's ok to just wait for people to feel bad about what they've done, notice their mistakes, or experience enough karma to realize they did something wrong. I'm ok with being the kind of "say nothing" personality that I am. 

It's ok to define my version of success. I started listening to the podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You--specifically, the episode about working mothers which focuses on redefining success and motherhood and the ways they overlap. While listening, I felt so inspired to redirect myself and my energies and how I define "success" as both a mother and a member of the workforce. (And it should be said: even if you're a stay at home mom, you're still working!) I am someone who definitely struggles with making comparisons between myself and others, and judging myself harshly for "falling short"--so deciding, as I was listening at my desk at work, to redefine how I view my own success was such a breakthrough moment. 

Things I Loved

• It goes without saying, but the Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast is great! 
• I also started listening to the Is This Adulting? Podcast this month and it's another new favorite. 
• Being a real dork about getting Dove PR
• This tweet
• I always hate writing things like this, but: January has been the best month for my blog since October--and is on track to surpass my October numbers (which were really, really good). I'm absolutely stunned because I felt like I had been falling really behind in terms of scheduling social media, pinning to Pinterest, and more. I just want to say thank you for helping me to feeling like this little blog of mine is becoming a success (in my terms, no one else's!); if you're reading this, you're part of it too! Thank you! 

My Favorite Content

• How to Write Every Single Day - I wrote this post in a few sessions over what felt like 2 weeks (but was probably closer to just 1 week). It was a labor of love and something I struggled to write because it forced me to articulate a few of my habits that are just, really, part of my being at this point! I'm really proud of it though & think it's really great, no matter where you are in writing at the moment! 
• My Favorite Lipsticks series - I started this series this month & will finish it next month. I'm really excited and love writing these; I'm making an effort to include photos of myself in my posts thanks to a suggestion from a reader. As terrifying as the prospect of taking photos of myself is, I feel like it's good for me at the end of the day! 
• How to Stay Creative as an Exhausted Mom - being someone who thrives on my creative spirit, and yet a mom who feels like I never have time for anything, let along creating, I have found little ways to keep myself from feel like I'm just absolutely losing it. This post compiles all those ways and honestly, I love being able to share these tips for people, whether you're a mom or just exhausted! 

I shared this post on Instagram last week. I wrote it in one big, long blurb at work and then, took a break to reflect on it. Nothing set this post off; it was just some thoughts I'd been having since waking up in an absolute funk that morning. Click through to Instagram to read it! 

A post shared by Michelle 💐 (@michellelocke6) on Jan 23, 2018 at 6:58pm PST

How to Stay Creative As An Exhausted Mom

Have I ever mentioned that I'm really tired? Are you really tired? 

Everyone has different reasons for being exhausted. And I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that, just because I have a kid, it makes my exhaustion more valid or more intense than other people's. This isn't the Olympics and no one gets a medal for being more or less tired than anyone else. 

I will say, however, that having a child drastically reduces the amount of time that I have for 1) recharging and 2) creating. Two things I know I need in my self-care arsenal to make sure I'm not cannonballing off a diving board into the anxiety pool. 

The more tired I get, the less able I am to be creative. The less creative I am, the more anxious I feel. The more anxious I feel, the more tired I feel. You get where I'm going with this? It's an endless cycle for me. 

After I finished Blogtober (October), NaNoWriMo (November), and Blogmas (December), a friend asked me: just how did you manage to do three solid months of constant writing & creative output without absolutely losing it? 

The answer: I just... did it. 

Ok, it's not that simple. Let's what through how I did it--and how I start creative, outside of that 3 month timespan, with raising a toddler. 

A Little Disclaimer

I wanted to start with a little disclaimer: it's ok to not have creative output. 

If you're a mom, who is creative, who based her life on creating prior to having a child, it's ok to not create anything if you genuinely don't want to. It's ok to not feel inspired. You don't have to force yourself to do it if you think it will be damaging to your mental health. Your health takes priority over writing, or painting. Getting sleep, eating meals, and having time to relax is more important that writing a week's worth of blog posts. 

So this is just my gentle way of saying: this is what works for me. This is what helps me to feel better. It is not for everyone. Take care of yourself first!

1. Make the Time

When Forrest plays in the afternoon, I often sit on the couch with my cell phone and take flat lay photos, or I write Instagram posts. Or, if I don't feel like doing that, I cross stitch. Both of these activities stimulate my mind, but don't invite Forrest's attention (he is obsessed with my work laptop) and aren't so time consuming that I can't focus on Forrest as well. 

I am someone who needs to be "productive"--and for me productive means actually producing something. This is why I sometimes struggle with handling my anxiety around cleaning and doing laundry; it doesn't necessarily "create" anything. So little things like editing photos, doing cross stitch, or organizing my bullet journal during playtime help me to stay creative and mentally stimulated--without throwing myself into a larger project. 

This is what I call "making the time." It isn't forcing yourself into a big project during a one-hour nap time or anything like that. It's just doing little creative things, when you can, to keep your mind active. 

2. Have a Goal

I've said this before but: having Blogtober, NaNoWriMo, and Blogmas as goals really helped me to focus and stay on top of creating, in a way that was motivating and didn't make me feel like I was wasting time. I like having goals that are relatively simple to meet--all that Blogtober and NaNoWriMo required of me was writing a little bit every single day. So instead of spending my evening watching TV or cleaning the kitchen, I wrote blog posts or I worked on my NaNo novel. 

Having a goal to works towards, for me, keeps me working towards something. I'm not a huge fan of big, big goals--but writing a blog post every day or creating a small piece of art every week is absolutely doable. And once you do it enough that it becomes habit, it's a part of your life--and it's something that can keep you creative every day, even when you're very, very tired. 

3. Create What You Can 

You aren't always going to be working within your medium of choice. I am a writer, but sometimes, I keep myself creative by taking on other tasks that keep my brain stimulated and help sooth my anxiety. Things like bullet journaling, coloring, cross stitching, and baking are huge stress relievers for me, and allow me to experiment, create, and feel productive--without being quite as mentally taxing as sitting down to write a short story or even outline a novel. 

You won't always be creating art that will win awards. Sitting down to doodle a page in your bullet journal or start a new cross stitch pattern might not feel like you're working towards any kind of goal, but you can multitask with both those activities (such as watch Married at First Sight, my guilty pleasure) and they help keep your mind from getting bored and sluggish. 

4. Take Care of Yourself

Like I said: you can't be creative if you aren't taking care of yourself. I don't stay up late writing or working on anything anymore. I certainly used to, but these days, when my sleep is at a premium anyway, I simply don't allow myself to do it. I make myself stop to make dinner or go to sleep. I make sure to spend time before bed reading, doing a face mask, or simply lying in bed, dozing or going through my day. Relaxing is an important part of creating. And even though I like to be in near constant motion through working and writing, I know that if I don't take some time to not create, the next time I really need to buckle down and write... I won't be able to. 

What I Got for Christmas

A few days after Christmas, I ran a poll on Instagram about whether people like Christmas gift posts or not. The results were pretty much split in the middle: half said they hated them, half said they love them. I got quite a few messages asking that I still post. 

This is just going to be a fun little post, mostly a list. I'll be reviewing some of these things in separate posts, so if you see something you want more details either 1) let me know and 2) I'll either email you directly with info or tell you the date the post will be going up. See? Easy peasy! 

Let's get down to business! 

1. A fruit-themed box of Lush goodies

The gift set I got was the Bella Fruta, but from what I can tell, they change this set almost constantly. The set I got contains a Yuzu Bubbleroon, a Comforter Bubble bar, A Strawberry Feels Forever massage bar, an Avobath Bomb, Sympathy for the Skin lotion, and the Comforter shower cream. That's a lot of stuff! I was so excited to receive this because I've never really tried Lush products, but have always wanted to. And I love a nice, relaxing bath! 

2. A gift bag from Bath & Body Works

This is a gift I get regularly from my mother-in-law... it's one I come to expect and love! In this year's bag there was the bag itself (a large, sturdy tote), a Champagne Toast candle, a Winter Candy Apple hand sanitizer and lotion, a shea butter cream lotion in the Berry scent, an Aromatherapy Body Cream in Recharge (sage and mint), and an Aromatherapy Body Wash & Bubble Bath in Recharge. I've been obsessed with herb scents lately, so I'm very excited for the Aromatherapy products! 

3. More socks than I honestly know what to do with 

Last year while opening Christmas gifts, my husband and I had quite the crack up because everyone had gotten me socks. My mom got me socks; his mom got me socks; and Danny got me socks. In 2016, I got about 20 pairs of new socks alone. Danny was pretty worried that I would be mad because, seriously, who wants that many pairs of socks? But fortunately, I love socks. This year, he got me several pairs of new socks again (about 5 pairs) and I got two pairs from my mother in law... for a grand total of 7 pairs of socks. Needless to say, I have enough boot socks to last me an absolute lifetime. 

In case you think Danny only got me socks, he also got me a new heating pad (don't freak out, but I sleep with one) and a new pair of sweater leggings with pandas on them. 

4. Crossing a lot off my Christmas bucket list

I think the best gift I received (not to be an absolute cornball or anything) this year was the fact that I got to experience Christmas in a way I never have before. Going to Idaho to celebrate with Danny's family was hard because, obviously, I wish we could be with both our families every year! But it was really fun to have a new experience, something completely different, and to see how much fun Forrest had! As well, we had a white Christmas!! The first of my life! That's a great gift. 

What did you get for Christmas? 

All My Goals for January 2018

This year, I decided not to write a list of resolutions. As I've written before (like in my post about setting goals), I find it is easiest for me to break things down into easy, digestible pieces. And often that means focusing on small, week-to-week or month-to-month goals versus a large, overarching goal.

1. Meal Prep 

When I say "meal prep," I definitely don't mean making 400 prepackaged meals. Nothing turns me off food more than it being old and soggy. Also I got food poisoning in October from a banana muffin, so I'm not forever suspicious of leftovers of any kind. However, a few years ago, I would often cook up a big thing of brown rice and a bunch of protein, and just add veggies and condiments throughout the week. That way, I'm not just microwaving a little plate and having to look at the same meal over and over and over again. I want to start having ingredients prepped (rice cooked, chicken ready, veggies trimmed, washed, and cut up) so I can more easily make dinner and not have to do a complicated tango with Forrest in the kitchen every time I try to make dinner. 

Danny and I have a shared goal of cutting out junk food (mainly fast food, because it's so easy to stop and get a Dutch Bros or a sandwich instead of making something at home), so this is definitely part of that larger goal. 

2. Rededicate myself to working out 

Danny and I joined (well, I rejoined) the gym in April and for about 4 months, I was extremely dedicated. Then I just got really tired. I can't really explain what happened, but I think a lot of it was burn out: by the time October rolled around, I had been working part-time, running my blog's new content strategy, and working out. I was tired a lot and often ended up accidentally napping on the couch--and worse, I was half-assing it at the gym. The past few weeks, I've actually taken a break from the gym (Danny, a rockstar, is still going) and just been focusing on eating healthy. In January, I want to really want to go to the gym again and dedicate myself to a system that I know works (lifting weights). 

3. Write blog strategy for 2018 

Recently, I mentioned that around August, I gave myself an ultimatum: I had 1 year to make this blog work or I wasn't doing it anymore. I've been blogging for nearly 10 years and while I've never reached any kind of success, I feel like I have at least muddled through with a following and decent numbers. However, just in terms of effort-I'm-putting-in versus what-I'm-getting-out, I definitely was putting in almost no effort and getting none in return. In short, I wasn't happy, but I didn't exactly want to quit blogging. I realized that I needed to actually make an effort, do all the things I'd read about for years, and just deal with it. Just get on with it! So in August, I wrote a short, 3-step blog strategy that I've been following. It's not perfect. This month, I'm planning to write a more complete strategy for really making this blog work. Wish me luck! 

(Click here to read my post about achieving goals for your blog!) 

4. Redesign blog graphics

I currently use Canva for my blog graphics and, while I love it, there is definitely an element of "nearly every blogger uses this font"! The fonts I selected as my design moving forward happen to be some of the best Canva offer under the free plan. Moving forward, I want to do a redesign of my font aesthetic and start using photoshop to create my graphics, if only so I can differentiate my look from others! 

(Click here to read my blog post about Canva & how I use it for my blog.)

5. Write for 20 minutes a day

This is one that is really difficult for me, but I want to write 20 minutes a day. Michelle, you're probably thinking, you work as a writer, with a side hustle as a blogger. You write already. 

Well, this goal is actually about journaling. I love journaling. I've been doing it since I was 12 or 13. But in the past few years, it's definitely fallen to the wayside. So this month, I really want to try to hand write in my journal for 20 minutes at least every day. 

(Click here to read my blog post about how I refuse to force myself to be productive.)

December 2017 Wrap Up

In November, I promised to start doing monthly wrap-up posts. (You can read my November wrap up here.) I always love reading these from my favorite bloggers and it's something that I just enjoy doing. As December winds down and the new year rapidly approaches, I'm a bit busy at the moment... but I'm excitedly looking forward to 2018. (I have some very exciting posts lined up for January!) 

Let's jump right into December, shall we? I'm going to try a new format this month, just to see what I like. 

Things I Learned

• This was the month where I learned to curl my hair. I know, I know, I've lived 29 years of having straight hair that barely holds a curl and finally I have found a method that works without me having to spend hours using heat tools in the morning. I use this method if anyone is wondering. 
• My toddler will always surprise me. I feel like I could probably say I've learned this every month since September 2015, but it still feels very true. This month alone, Forrest has broken out in a full body rash, split his lip open so badly 3 separate times I repeatedly checked his teeth to make sure they weren't cracked, and started saying 4+ syllable words. How is he so smart and yet so willing to run into traffic the moment I turn my back? 

Things I Loved

• My daily gratitude Twitter thread
• My tea tree shampoo for saving my scalp. Ok, but seriously, my scalp is a wreck this December. What gives? 
• My new blush

My Favorite Content

• I'm honestly so proud of my 12 Days of Beauty Advent Calendar review; I spent so much time working on it, finding products, and pricing everything out. 
• Why We Don't Believe in Santa
• This month, I created some of my favorite content ever on Instagram. I'm really proud of all these photos. 

Final Thoughts

December felt like a very good month. I didn't read as much as I wanted to; I didn't do things I fully planned to do; and a lot of things happened that felt like downers. But overall, I've had a lovely month and I'm so excited for 2018. It can only go up from here, right?