Do You Have Anti-Resolutions?

Are you anti-resolutions? Do you think New Year’s isn’t a great time to make a change to your life? Do you get tired of the jokes about “I start today—just kidding, next year”? Did you grow up seeing late night talk show hosts joking about New Year’s Resolutions? Well then, you’re in the right place!

I’m kind of anti-resolution myself. I think the idea of the New Year being a time to completely change your life is a tough one. But that being said, there isn’t something about that “New Year, New Me!” feeling. January 1 is a great time to set goals for the year, decide what you want to achieve, and work on changing things.

This year, I decided to do something different in my journal. I didn’t just set my yearly goals. I set anti-resolutions: things I don’t want to do this year and things I don’t want to change about myself. Yeah, that’s right: I did the thing that goal setting experts always say not to do. But I found it really cathartic.

Why I Think Setting Anti-Resolutions is Good for 2021

If you’ve been struggling this past year (and truly, who hasn’t been?), you might think there was nothing good about 2020. Nothing positive. And while I whole heartedly kind of agree with you, I do think it’s important to look at the things we’ve learned about ourselves, about our place in the world, and about our community and decide what we want to be moving forward.

Anti-resolutions are a way of telling yourself: in 2020, I was enough. Even if I didn’t achieve what I thought I would. Even if I gained weight. Even if I stopped doing XYZ. Even if, even if, even if. In 2020, you were enough, regardless of what you did or did not do.

How to Set Anti-Resolutions

First things first, look at your past year with a critical lens. What did and did not work for you? What was the most difficult part of the year for you? What did you learn about yourself this year?

Write those things down. Journal about it. Get really into your feelings about it. Write down the things you’re scared to write down. The things you were most challenged by.

Now, look at everything you’ve written and ask yourself, really: what would you not change about yourself this year? What was something that defined the last year in terms of you? Your resilience? Your strength? Those are your anti-resolutions: the parts of yourself that stuck around when you needed them most.

Here are a few examples that I wrote down for myself:

• I will not be bogged down by diet and body talk this year.

• I will not work to shrink myself.

• I will not stop being over-the-top when it comes to at-home activities for Forrest.

What are your anti-resolutions? Let me know in the comments!

Everything You Need to Know About Hungryroot

New Year, New Me—except just like in January and February of years past, I’m writing about Hungryroot. Some things really never change. For me, one of those things is how much I love getting groceries delivered to my front door. (The pandemic has also definitely increased this love for me!)

If you know me, then you know I love Hungryroot. I’ve gotten at least 2 Hungryroot deliveries every month for the past… 2 years? If you want to read a bunch of my old posts about Hungryroot, here’s a round up!

Hungryroot has added a ton of new items in the last 6 months—pretty much since I last wrote about them! Every week when I customize what’s coming in my shipment, I get super excited to see what new items I can add and try. With winter setting in, the pandemic not letting up, and things feeling darker than usual, one way you can take care of yourself and reduce your stress is to get the things you need delivered. This is a huge privilege, obviously, but it’s one that I encourage you to use if you need it.

Here are my top 5 favorites right now (and how I use them!).

Roasting Vegetables with Herbs - these aren’t necessarily a new item, but they are seasonal and I had been looking forward to them all summer. They make the besssst soup. I usually just roast or steam them, blend them up with veggie stock, add the herbs, and simmer on the stove for a few minutes. So quick and easy.

Microwave Ready Potatoes with Herbs from the Little Potato Company - these are an every single order item, easily. We love them in our house! I’ve used them for potato salad, for quick evening dinners, everything. I usually microwave them (5 minutes is perfect); let them sit for another 5; then slice all the potatoes in half and put them sliced side down in a hot pan with butter. Top with the included herbs and ugh! They’re so, so good.

Vegetable and Beef Blended Patties - another absolute winner, these patties are a combination of ground beef and vegetables, primarily mushrooms and kale. They are so good as burger patties. However, you can also break them up and use them as taco meat—a great option for kids who need a little extra veggie!

White Flour Tortillas from Maria & Ricardo’s - these are my absolute favorite tortillas. They’re just so good, they taste fresh, and they crisp up so deliciously for quesadillas. We always have a pack in our fridge.

Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds from Skinny Dipped - I know everyone has had these almonds, but it is such a treat to get them delivered every month with my groceries! I usually add a small handful of these to my oatmeal in the morning—that just add such a nice crunch and it’s like eating a dessert, to be honest. They’re the perfect sweet snack for the afternoon.

You may have noticed: Hungryroot has expanded the brands they offer! You can get Beyond Meat, Skinny Dipped items, oatmilk, cold brew coffee, bread, lunchmeat, salmon and shrimp, veggies, packaged breakfasts and lunches… brands you recognize, foods that look delicious.

If you want to try Hungryroot, they are having a really, really great January deal right now: 40% off your first order with the code PAUSES40 at Hungryroot. If you get the small box, that would make your first delivery around $42—which is a great deal. Visit Hungryroot, check out all the new options, and let me know what you think!

3 TikTok Beauty Trends that Are Actually Worth It

You’ve probably seen plenty of TikTok trends at this point, even if you don’t use TikTok. Instagram Reels is basically just reposted or redone TikToks—making it pretty easy to stay up to date on what’s hip with the teens these days. (Do I sound old? I definitely sound old.)

I pay pretty close attention to beauty trends—always have and probably always will, even if I don’t wear makeup 90% of the time anymore. There are a few I tried out myself in 2020 and I wanted to share how much I thought they were worth it. Are those super cheap Tree Hut scrubs as great as they seem? What about SPF? Here are 3 trends I tried thanks to TikTok this year that are totally worth it.

1. Tree Hut Sugar Scrubs

Such a trend that it was even on Refinery29.

When I first started seeing these TikToks on my For You page, I was a little weirded out; all these videos of girls in their shower, using 2-3 body washes, a sugar scrub, shaving with cream, 2 lotions… whew! It’s a lot. And I am very tired.

However, I’m a sucker for a body scrub. I also have strawberry skin on my legs (those little red/purple dots) and have for my entire life. What if this was the secret key?

I haven’t noticed a huge difference in that regard, but these are luxurious scrubs. They smell really good; they’re super affordable; and Tree Hut seems like a really great brand. There are so many varieties of scrub to choose from too—I have the coconut pineapple one and the Moroccan Rose. Both are amazing. (And true story, they make shaving your armpits way easier!)

2. Heatless Curls

Here’s one example, using the wide belt of a robe. These videos are everywhere. And true story, I’ve been using a heatless method using a headband to curl my hair since around 2017. (Here’s a great video explaining it!) I’m so glad this became a trend because I think it’s a really fun way to experiment and learn how to do your hair in a new way without causing damage. It definitely takes some time and practice and sometimes, it just doesn’t turn out quite how it should. (I’m still getting the hand of the belt/sock method!) This is one trend that is totally worth it to try.

3. CeraVe

If you’ve ever been to the dermatologist (and trust me, I’ve been a lot), you’ve probably had CeraVe recommended to you. It’s a dermatologist favorite because it’s readily available, affordable, and pretty darn good. I resisted the siren song of CeraVe for years because they’re aren’t technically cruelty free. But if there is one thing 2020 taught me, it’s that sometimes you have to use what works for you and sometimes people aren’t going to have access to the much more pricery, harder to find cruelty-free items. I still buy CF when I can, but it’s not a priority for me anymore, although I still respect CF skincare and beauty gurus.

That out of the way, CeraVe really blew up on TikTok thanks to “skincare TikTok” really taking off. I feel like every other year, we all rediscover skincare and try new things. 3 years ago, everyone had a 12-15 step skincare routine and a matching spreadsheet (me, looking at the sad, neglected skincare spreadsheet on my own iMac). Now, we’ve dialed things down. We don’t all need that many steps. And getting back to basics is really good for us.

I use the CeraVe Facial Moisturizer with SPF and have for about a year now. It really is worth it. Really. It’s better than every expensive SPF I’ve ever bought.

Setting Intentions for 2021

Happy New Year!

Woof! What a year 2020 was, huh?

Have you felt like we’ve been saying that since, like, 2015? It feels like the last 5 years have been “the worst year ever” and we all hopefully look towards the next one. (Although, to be fair, I think 2017 and 2018 have been my two best years on record in the last 5 or so.) I wonder when this cultural shift happen, or do you think this is something that always happens during times of social upheaval?

No matter what: 2020 is behind us.

What did you learn this year?

And what of those lessons do you want to carry in 2020?

For me, my main takeaway from 2020 is this: I can do challenging things. I need to learn to say “no” and set boundaries. I need to start being intentional with my time to avoid burnout.

All good things.

This year, I decided to not set strict (or SMART) goals for 2021. That feels like maaaaybe just a little too much. (On this note—is anyone bracing themselves for March 2021? I feel like March 2020 has become the litmus for when things really changed.)

Instead, in 2021, I’m setting intentions. And that works because my word for this year is, well, intention. Be intentional. Have intentions.

We’re all learning how to grow as people in this new world of ours. That’s sort of the fun thing, isn’t it? That we’re all figuring out what’s normal now, what we can reasonably achieve, how we can impact others in real time, right along each other. There are no experts, no one who is ahead of the curve. We’re all flying blind beside each other. It’s kind of a nice feeling.

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For the sake of public pressure (yes, I am that kind of person—I need to tell other people my intentions or goals to make them “real”), here are my intentions for this year.

• Drink more water. My husband and I often joke that I’m a succulent. To be completely honest, I don’t drink much of anything all day. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and then not really take a drink of anything else until the afternoon. At night, I try to drink water, but mostly just so my mouth doesn’t get dry when I sleep. This is a bad habit and I’m an adult, not a succulent, and I have to start trying to drink water.

• Redo the Curated Closet. I bought the Curated Closet Workbook last year and was working on it in February and March. Then, obviously, I didn’t leave my house for 6 months? I’m working on redoing it and learning a bit more about myself in the process. It’s one of my goals to also start posting outfit photos on my Instagram again. Big scary!

• Spend more time on my hobbies. Like this blog, embroidery, reading, and journaling. 2020 was a year where I worked a ton and it became rapidly clear by around September that I was suffering as a result. I took on too much; I was so burnt out I couldn’t even start a book, let alone finish one; I started and didn’t finish probably 20 embroidery projects. However, once I took a break December 16 and stopped working entirely… I was able to read 4 books, work on an embroidery project, and actually watch a movie without scrolling on my phone. It was really eye opening. Part of this spending more time on my hobbies means also being really strict about work boundaries and giving myself weekends again.

• Save money for Disneyland. Isn’t it crazy that in 2020, my husband and I had more disposable income (a combination of me being paid more for my work and us not really being able to go anywhere for 6 months when I was making said bank), and yet we literally couldn’t do any of the things we always wanted to do once we had more disposable income? What a trip. Anyway, if Disneyland is ever able to open again, we are going and I am saving money in order to give myself the trip of my dreams. C’mon vaccine!

That’s it! Those are my only intentions for 2021. I’m keeping it simple this year, y’all: hobbies, fashion, not being a succulent, and going to Disneyland.

Tell me: what are your intentions (or goals) for this year? What do you want to achieve?

How to Set Goals for 2021

Am I being really wild by suggesting goal setting for 2021?

I think if 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life can change in a second. Your goals can shift from getting a big promotion to just staying afloat in the matter of a week or two. It’s always good to have things put in perspective and I feel like this year has taught us that too. Things can change; our lives will change; and sometimes, we’re not in control of those things.

But that’s ok.

Here’s my dirty little secret: I did kind of hit one of my goals for this year. In early January, I set a goal of having 2 additional clients by the end of the year.

This year, I grew my business from 1 single client in February (I started my contract with them in late February and the pandemic hit 2 weeks later) to 7 total clients in December. These are clients that I work with on a month-to-month basis.

I didn’t necessarily set out to meet this goal; I didn’t really even think of it every day. I just did good work; I kept going; I journaled my feelings; and I went to therapy. That’s about it. On the way, I was sent referrals from clients, past mentors, and more.

It always feels a little selfish when I say that, despite some hiccups, I’ve had a really great year professionally. 2019 was an extreme “down” year for me, at least for my career. But 2020 has been… amazing. For the first time in my husband and I’s marriage, we have disposable income. We can fix all the things in our house we’ve been meaning to fix! We can splurge occasionally! We can buy Christmas presents without scrimping and saving! It’s kind of wild, to be quite honest. Because while all that is happening, we aren’t able to travel, or go out to restaurants, or celebrate in anyway.

All this is to say: I think it’s totally possible to set and meet goals in 2021, even when things still feel so up in the air. You can both plan for anything and set goals for your own growth at the same time.

Here are my tips for setting goals in 2021.

1. Keep things broad.

Focus on the bigger picture. Normally when it comes to setting goals, I try to keep things larger. Instead of SMART goals, things something larger, more overarching. This might mean setting a goal of establishing a daily routine, rather than saying “I’ll do XYZ every single day.”

Here are a few broad goals:

• Buying a planner and checking in every month.

• Creating a daily routine that works for you.

• Finding an exercise you love by November.

2. Now more than ever, keep goals realistic.

Are you going to save 1 million dollars, meet the Queen, and travel to all continents in 2021? Probably not.

But will you be able to meet some smaller goals. Absolutely.

One thing about setting goals is that you should always focus on what is realistic. What are you actually able to achieve in 12 months?

Maybe you want to go freelance in 2021 or 2022; a great goal to set would be to start networking throughout the year, emailing contacts, and building up your LinkedIn profile.

Maybe you do want to travel more in the future; a good goal in 2021 would be to work on your savings account, research places you want to go, and follow accounts that help you do that. We still might not be doing much traveling in 2021… but we can dream about it, definitely!

3. Your goals should reflect growth.

Your goals should be about growing as a person—not becoming a better version, not about punishing yourself.

When we think of “New Years Resolution”, we often think of weight loss. But I want to encourage you to think about this differently: will losing weight make you happy this year? Will it help you grow as a person? Or would it be more beneficial to focus on the things you can improve in your life? Finding an exercise you love, making more nutritious choices about your food… these are all things we can control and that can help improve our lives, without putting the onus and focus on deprivation and punishment for our bodies.

As well, setting goals that are restrictive in nature—”no more THIS” or "less THAT”—are found to be ineffective. These are the goals that people tend to fall off track with. It’s really easy to do that, because we don’t like to be restricted or to feel like we’re missing out.

Final Thoughts

What goals are you setting in 2021?

For the sake of transparency, my goals for 2021 are: to work on establishing a better work from home routine; to clean up my bookkeeping (it is a constant source of frustration); to release at least 2 paid products; and to begin adding working out to my daily routine again.

I Tried Banish Acne so You Don't Have To*

A few weeks ago, Banish approached me about reviewing their line of acne fighting products. I, of course, said yes. I love trying new skincare products, even if it’s not what I write about everyday. And I don’t know about you, but ever since March, my skin has been absolutely out of control. Stress, masks, the fires in September… it felt like my skin was being attacked every day!

Banish kindly sent me the Banish Starter Kit, plus the All Clear Mint Cleanser. As you might know, I’ve struggled with my skin for most of my life. A few years ago, a combination of going dairy free and using jojoba oil religiously gave me the best skin of my life. However, times change, our bodies changed, and what used to work doesn’t work anymore. Story of my life, am I right?!

Here’s a quick and easy review of the products I received and how I liked them!

The Banish Starter Kit

The Banish Starter kit is one of the best, all-inclusive sets Banish offers. If you’re looking to really rejuvenate your skincare routine, this is the one for you.

Banish focuses primarily on Vitamin C and all natural ingredients to help fight acne, plus reduce the appearance of scars and hyper pigmentation caused by acne.

Here’s what comes in the Starter Kit and what I thought of it:

Banish Oil: this is a vitamin C serum that is intended to help reduce the look of acne scars. I liked this oil, but found that as far as a serum goes, it wasn’t my favorite. It made my skin feel really sticky and grimy. But that being said, I did notice an improvement in my scarring on my chin!

Vitamin C Beauty Elixir: this is a facial mist that gives a boost of Vitamin C and moisture. It’s great for applying throughout the day. I kept this on my desk for days when I felt rundown and in need of a little extra TLC.

The Banisher 2.0: This is a microneedler. I’m not here to tell anyone what to do necessarily, but this is the one product I disliked the most. I don’t believe in microneedling, but mostly just believe that you should leave this to the professionals. I was personally too scared to use this, so I didn’t. However, I know some do love using it! It’s just not for me.

The Pumpkin Enzyme Masque: This was my favorite product. It smells like pumpkin; it makes your skin feel amazing; and it contains AHAs and BHAs that act as natural exfoliators. On the days after I used this mask, my skin definitely felt 100% better and I noticed my redness that I get at the beginning of my cycle was diminished a lot.

Fighter Gel: This gel is a water-based, aloe vera gel that helps calm redness and inflammation, as well as other skin complaints. It smells incredibly mentholated, however, so be careful of that. I did really like this gel! It makes your skin feel very soft and soothed!

Vitamin C Creme: I’m on record as saying Vitamin C all over my face tends to make me break out bad. However, this cream was an exception! It’s 20% vitamin C and is heavy enough for a winter moisturizer. I used it at night and loved how soft it made my skin!

All Clear Mint Cleanser

I love a good cleanser! This cleanser is a gel-based one with chamomile leaf, mint, and vitamin B5—all intended to get your face clean while reducing inflammation. This was really the perfect morning cleanser; really light, but with a smell and feel that is perfect for a wake up call!

Who is Banish best for?

If you’ve had acne most of your life, or cystic acne at any point, you probably have some scarring. I know I do. My chin is a wreck these days thanks to several years of pretty bad cystic acne break outs. Banish is designed to soothe existing break outs and skin conditions, while also fading those scars and areas of hyper pigmentation. If you struggle with any of those issues, Banish is definitely worth a try.

Even better, it’s just nice to be able to get everything in one go: moisturizer, cleanser, etc. It’s nice to have one line up to turn out! Some items are definitely better than others, but overall, I think there is potential for every product to work for somebody who needs it.

Final Thoughts

If you are struggling with your skin’s texture or appearance due to scars, I think this is a line that will work perfect for you. To try Banish, visit their website here. Thank you again to Banish for sending me these products to try!

Disclaimer: As denoted by the asterisk (*) in the title of this post, I received products for free in exchange for a review. However, all opinions remain my own! If you’d like to learn more about my disclosure policy, click here.

3 Things to Do When You Feel Anxious

Did anyone else blink and the entirety of November was over?

Just me?

It feels like we started the month stretched tight like a rubber band. I don’t know about you, but after November 3rd (and realistically, after November 7th), I felt better than I have in months. Years, maybe. It just nice to have it be over no matter what. I slept like a baby, actually! As a result, unfortunately, things fell to the wayside: I found that I could keep up on my work and NaNoWriMo, but not my blog or Instagram.

And that’s fine! Sometimes, in the midst of taking care of ourselves, we have to let some things go. The blog, as it is, survived. The NaNoWriMo novel is almost finished (thank goodness—I hate it already, but I’m determined to win!)

Originally, I planned to have several articles in my Self-Care for the Holidays series—but as time passed in November, I just didn’t have the energy for them! The first blog post is very good, so if you want to read it, please do. This blog post is related, but different and not necessarily part of the series.

If you’re like me, you’re finding yourself having moments of sudden anxiety, I hope you find this post helpful! These are three things I do whenever I’m feeling mysteriously anxious—when I want to pace around or get in my car and drive somewhere. Let me know if you have something that helps you!

1. Go for a walk.

Fresh air is often the best medicine and can help break you out of a panic or anxiety attack.

When Forrest was very little, whenever he would start crying and be unable to stop, I’d take him outside. We’d stand in the brisk air and just breathe together. This always helped. In the past few months, I’ve realized that whenever I’m keyed up, on edge, and stressed, I need to do the same thing with myself: no matter how cold or hot it is, how rainy or muggy or (in the case of September) smokey, if I go outside and just breathe for a few minutes, I feel instantly better.

2. Talk to someone—even just yourself.

Vocalizing what is worrying you out loud can often help the most. However, not everyone feels comfortable expressing their deepest worries or anxieties to other people—and that’s ok. I often talk out loud to myself in my office.

If you aren’t at a place where you feel comfortable sharing with someone, try journaling, talking out loud, or texting a friend (not necessarily about your anxiety). Journaling is one of the best ways to get all your anxieties out! Even if it’s just typing in your notes app.

3. Practice self-soothing.

Everyone has different self-soothing behaviors. Mine is lying in bed with a weighted blanket and a good book. I try to avoid my phone during moments of high anxiety as I find this tends to make me go into freeze behaviors—like scrolling endlessly on Instagram.

Self-soothing is often what people think of when they think of self-care: taking baths, reading books, those kind of things. When you self-soothe, you’re finding a way to soothe your anxiety and take care of yourself at the same time.

4 Ideas for Holiday Self-Care

Welcome to another series here at Writing Between Pauses. This month, we’re going to be talking all things self-care and the holidays—given how November started, I think we all need a little self-care refocus these days! I hope you enjoy this series. We’ll be covering everything self-care gifts, what’s the difference between self-care and self-soothing, and much more.

When writing self-care posts, it is very easy to slip into those easy tropes we’ve all seen. Take baths! Read a book! Put on cozy socks! Those things are nice and they’re very soothing, but they aren’t self-care for everybody. (We’ll talk about why I consider those things part of self-care, but actually a different part of self-care in a future post. Stay tuned!)

In this blog post, I wanted to give you 4 ideas right now that you can use to prioritize your mental health in the coming months. This past week, I think most of us (at least, those who read my blog—and if you know me, you know where my thoughts lie) experienced a huge lifting of feeling and emotion. The past 4 years have been hard. The past year has somehow been the hardest. And yet, here we are.

If you’re reading this, you survived. You made it.

We can do hard things. You can do hard things.

But I know for so many of us, this has taken a huge toll on our mental health. Personally, the past 3 months have been perhaps the lowest I’ve been since 2015, when I struggled hard with postpartum depression. It is a very hard time right now; part of me is always guilty because I think, I have it so much easier than other people. I want so badly to be someone who remains resilient. But the truth is: we all have our struggles and we can’t put up a decent fight if we aren’t giving ourselves kindness and space to be healthy.

I hope these suggestions give you ideas for the holiday season, for moving forward with self kindness and self-care. Thanks for reading, as always. Let’s dive in!

1. Set Clear Boundaries Early.

Do you have family who wants you to visit for the holidays, even though there is still a pandemic and you’re not sure how safe it is? Do you have family who doesn’t believe the pandemic is even real and they want you to visit them during the holiday season? Here’s one suggestion you can do right now: set your boundaries now.

“Hi [relative’s name]. Thank you so much for thinking of us this holiday season. We won’t be able to make it to your party this year, but expect a gift from us in the mail!” That’s all you have to say. You set the boundary. You communicated it. If there is pushback, you don’t even have to give a reason if you don’t want to; you can just say, “we aren’t able to make it!” No apologizing, no giving in. That’s your boundary.

If that isn’t your boundary (and I get it, it’s totally your choice), still work on setting your holiday boundaries early. Communicate when you’ll be working and when you won’t. Let others know when you’ll be available and when you won’t. Setting these boundaries now means you’ll be more comfortable enforcing them later.

2. Create a System that Prioritizes Your Needs.

Guess what? You’re important! Your needs for sleep, comfort, food, and more are important!

Creating a system is a kind of complicated way of saying this: make it easy to prioritize yourself now. Create the framework that means you have the things you need and will need for the coming months available. Schedule the grocery pick ups. Meal plan. Set aside special days for take out or just plan for it once a week when you feel like it. Order your prescriptions and medications. Stock up on what you’ll need for your favorite holiday baking or craft projects.

Make it easy to prioritize yourself and your needs now so that it’s easier later.

3. Ask Your Friends if They Can Be An Ear.

Reach out to your closest friends and ask in advance: if I’m struggling in the next 2 months, can I call or text you?

It’s just as easy as that! If they say yes, add them to your favorites. If they say no, thank them for their honesty. If you’re in the mental place for it as well, you can also offer in the same breath to be available to someone if they need to call and vent, or get advice, or just talk about something happy for a moment. Ask for an ear, offer to be an ear. No matter what, get a list of people you can turn to for support now, rather than later.

4. Schedule Therapy.

You don’t know you need therapy until, well, you need therapy. I’ve been going to therapy once a month recently; more frequently and it tends to have an opposite effect for me. This is the perfect sweet spot for me to have enough to talk about and get enough “homework” to work on.

However, if you suspect the holiday season might be hard for you, here’s my suggestion: find a therapist to work with now (if you don’t have one) or schedule your sessions in advance (if you do have one). Right now, I have sessions scheduled for the coming month, knowing that the weather, the holiday season pressures, and work issues are going to come to a head.

No matter what, I’m prepared to either be fine OR need additional support from my therapist. Whatever happens, happens, but I have my schedule in place and I’m prepared.